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Girl likes me but has a bf


atlboi837

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I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

I have known this girl for a few years now (Family Friend in a way). There always has been an attraction but she has always lived in another state. She currently has boyfriend down where she lives but she just got news she is moving up and gonna be living very close to me now (moves up in a few months).

 

She was just in town and we hung out a lot and there was definently a lot of flirting going on between us. She said she really likes me and she knows I like her too. I haven't taken it past flirting because I think that is wrong for her current BF. However, I did ask her if she was gonna break up with him since she was moving up and she said she was planning on it but didn't want to be alone while she lived down there. When she talks to her bf I can tell just likes him a lot also though. However, she also lies a lot to her bf because I asked her if she really liked him a lot and she said not really.

 

Is it possible for her to be attracted to two different guys? Should I just wait for her to break up with her boyfriend before I make a move? Is there a way to tell if she is lying to me about her "not liking" her bf? Any other comments about the situation is really appreciated I just wanna her if this is a common situation or not.

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Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too...without much regard for her boyfriend.

 

Look, if she can stray from him she can stray from you too. If she can lie to him, she can lie to you too. Maybe she's just deciding she'd rather focus on you, but it seems like when it's convenient for her, she focuses on whoever is closest. Is she into you because she's really into you, or just because she doesn't want to make the effort to have a long-distance relationship with the other guy and doesn't want to be alone in her new town?

 

Proceed with caution--this kind of girl will play you

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she is still flirting with me on the phone and facebook right now so it's not that she is just bored while visiting up here. But I do understand if she lied to one guy she could lie to another guy. But I have never known her to be that way and I have know she has had other bf's that she was much more loyal too. I know i have to be careful but I definently feel an attraction between us.

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I haven't taken it past flirting because I think that is wrong for her current BF.

 

You are not sure so assume she's still with him until it's clear to you she isn't.

If you're not sure, at least fall back on this; basically what you believe rather than guessing what she thinks. At least you can be happy what you're doing is right/safe.

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I would avoid this as well. Think beyond your attraction for her. Her behavior is not conducive to a trusting long-term relationship. Clearly her priority is not to be alone. Even if she breaks up with her bf for you, you are in for a headache relationship with a lack of trust and lots of insecurity.

 

You can be attracted to someone else.

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I'm just gonna test the waters, if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. The point of most high school relationships is just to test out this kind of stuff anyways,and maybe I'll get lucky.

 

I honestly think that she just doesn't want to hurt her bf...but im definently getting her closer to breaking up with him everyday. Thanks for the advice so far and anymore is appreciated also.

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You mentioned that she lies to her boyfriend, which to me, is an automatic red flag. I don't mean to come down on her. But at the sametime, if she's lying to him about their relationship and her real feelings than you need to think about how she may do this to you someday also.

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Is it possible for her to be attracted to two different guys?

 

It's possible for people to be attracted to multiple people. To me though that would be a problem. If she has a BF and she says she likes you that is close to cheating(it can lead there if he doesn't break up with'em.

 

How would you feel if she got in a relationship with you and she ends saying the same thing to another guy behind your back? I wouldn't go for this girl.

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I know this is a bump, but I have a few questions and a similar situation to bring to the table.

 

Everyone seems to be saying that a girl liking someone else while having a boyfriend must be bad news, because "she could do this to you too". But surely if she meets someone new who she maybe likes more than her boyfriend, but isn't quite sure, then there must be some sort of transitional period where she hasn't yet broken up with the bf but has something going on with the new person. Is this not even slightly reasonable? Is the girl only respectable if she's broken up with the bf before having anything at all to do with anyone else? Sometimes these things just sorta happen, we're talking about emotions here, it's not black and white.

 

Anyway, I'm in a situation now where I've met a new girl who has a boyfriend. We've hit it off really well and there seems to be loads of chemistry there, but obviously as she has a boyfriend I haven't made any moves and haven't even talked about us being together. I just know there is something going on, and her friends say her relationship is on the rocks, but I don't feel I can approach the subject or act on it because she's in another relationship and I have to respect that, simple as.

 

I guess my question is, is there absolutely anything I can be doing right now?

Or am I completely powerless to act until she's broken things off with her boyfriend?

 

I don't want her to think I'm not interested because I haven't made any moves, but I feel powerless to make any moves. Just can't win, it seems...

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