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Age Gap relationships are a lot more common then you would think


TrueLife

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I feel like I'm hearing more and more stories about people dating much older than themselves. I'm really interested in learning how these couples are able to cope with all the social differences that are inherent with their age gaps. For example, if a woman is dating a younger man how do his friends treat her? I wonder if she feels uncomfortable around them because of their differing interests? If anyone has any stories relating to this topic and feel comfortable sharing I would love to hear about them.

 

Thanks!

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I just started dating an older man, I am not certain yet how it effects our social relationships such as friends. I know that when we are out it bothers me, makes me think "do they think he is my dad?" But he is such a great man otherwise, i think i can look past that.

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It didn't work well for me at all when I was 28 and dating a 21 year old. His friends made my life a living hell and I hated them. My older BFs (9 years older and 13 years older respectively) would not introduce me to their friends as they felt I'd have nothing in common with them. So it has not worked well for me. I'm hoping that my next relationship will finally be with someone close to my own age.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My partner is just about ten years older than me, and his friends ARE my friends. We met because he was part of a group of guys I got mixed in with who were all between their teens and their late twenties. Because they all hung out with different ages, they had no problem when my man and I started dating (actually, they'd been expecting it to happen about two years before it actually did). I get along really well with all his old college friends too, because we share the same interests and they're all genuinely accepting people.

My friends also adore him, and now our friend groups are so intertwined that we can hardly tell the difference between who was close to who before we started dating.

However, it's my acquaintances that give me a hard time for dating him, and some of his friends' girlfriends and wives have given him flack, calling me a child and whatnot (although as one of their husbands put it, "she's just jealous because you don't have wrinkles yet", haha). While his family and my parents are super supportive of us, my sister and her husband went on this big mission to make me stop dating him, because they didn't like me dating someone their age. But they've since come around.

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Hey TrueLife

My boyfriend of over a year is 31 and I am 46. My friends are fine with him and his friends are fine with me. I do though feel that I have nothing in common with his friends. I hang out with them for him, but I find them to be inmature, but so was I at their age. His friends are mostly in their 20's.

I do have one friend who will not hang out with me any more because I am dating someone so much younger than me. Oh well......

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I feel like I'm hearing more and more stories about people dating much older than themselves. I'm really interested in learning how these couples are able to cope with all the social differences that are inherent with their age gaps. For example, if a woman is dating a younger man how do his friends treat her? I wonder if she feels uncomfortable around them because of their differing interests? If anyone has any stories relating to this topic and feel comfortable sharing I would love to hear about them.

 

Thanks!

Very funny you post this. My girlfriend is 8/9 years younger than me, and just recently admitted she's gotten grief from some of her friends about my "age". I'm 43, shes 34.

 

Funny thing is...I'm in better shape than most guys 10 years younger than me, but the grey hair, thinning hair and smile lines are there. Reality. I have to believe she is okay with the gap, or she would not have let things go as far as they've gone, but she probably ought not to have told me about her friends. Now I don't want to know who they are. I avoid superficial people like the plague.

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My ex-gf was nine years younger...me 37, her 28...

 

We didn't have any problems socially, or hanging out...at all. Actually, we had a TON of fun together.

 

The problem was

 

1. Emotional Maturity: she just DID NOT have it yet. Some woman at that age are ver precocious, very mature. It's not knowing what you want...IT'S HOW YOU GO ABOUT IT...the time, the place, the context, the manner in which it is conveyed. These things are crucial!!!!!!!!!

 

2. Defining YOURSELF as a person. At that age, you're still trying to figure out who YOU are. I mean this in terms of career, goals, etc. It is so important that you have your own 'thing' going on, ie: career your building, hobbies/interests of your own, being independent.

 

outside of those caveats...if the chemistry is good, and your goals are aligned....give it a whirl!

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My husband and I have an age gap; I'm 25 and he's 38. It really hasn't had any effect on us, to tell you the truth. I've always thought I was more mature for my age, so when I met him it seemed perfect because he had passed all the partying and fooling around. At the same time, he came from another country and was starting over with his career, so in some ways we are at the same level in that respect. Compared to male friends or co-workers who are my age I find him to be more mature and responsible.

 

The only time I notice the difference is when he listens to music. I find it pretty amusing, actually, because he listens to a lot of '80s music that was before my time. Same thing with movies, he'll tell me he saw something in the theater and I'll tell him I was still in diapers at the time. For us, it's an ongoing joke.

 

In the beginning, though, it was difficult. I was worried that because he was older he wanted to jump right into marriage because he was at that stage in his life. I didn't want to be rushed into sex, marriage, or kids. Things worked out, though, when I realized that I was in love with him and shouldn't let him get away just because of the age gap. He was patient with me for all the major steps in our relationship, not putting any pressure.

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I feel like I'm hearing more and more stories about people dating much older than themselves. I'm really interested in learning how these couples are able to cope with all the social differences that are inherent with their age gaps. For example, if a woman is dating a younger man how do his friends treat her? I wonder if she feels uncomfortable around them because of their differing interests? If anyone has any stories relating to this topic and feel comfortable sharing I would love to hear about them.

 

Thanks!

 

hey trulife,

 

well, my experience was I was with a 22 year old at 36. there were many differences, namelly lack of life experience. so my comment would be, if you go younger, choose someone who is a good match in terms of education and independence I guess. I was pretty blind... he still to this day lives at home and has like a grade 9 education (and just quit adult high school again). This is hard for me to admit... I was really ga ga over him and his promises of everlasting love.... he is the dependent type and I have my emotional problems so I guess that is why we clicked?

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  • 1 month later...

This is perhaps a strange comment, but I know that one of the major arguments against age gap relationships is that, when it comes to life expectancy, one of the partners will die and leave the remaining partner a widow (or widower).

 

But I had an interesting thought -- when it comes to interracial dating, we know that, statistically speaking, Asians (esp. Affluent Asian Americans) have a longer life expectancy than Caucasians (Asian Americans avg. 84 years whilst US Caucasians avg. 76 years). Perhaps this is an argument for age gap relationships if the older partner is an Asian American.

 

I don't know -- perhaps I'm just trying to tell myself my own relationship is okay -- the elder of us is 37. The younger is 21 (same age difference as Ashton and Demi). The elder is Asian American.

 

I'd appreciate feedback.

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My bf is 9 years older than me. No problems at all. My last two boyfriends before him were my exact age, so at the beginning it was a little odd. At our age, though, we're both mature and know who we are and where we are going, so it's fine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm 41 (will be 42 in a week!) and dating a guy who's 25. His friends treat me fine. The ones who are close to him like me cuz I can hang with them. The ones who aren't, don't even know my age. I look much younger than my age.

 

I actually have more in common w/him and his friends than I do with a lot of older guys. However, I do slip up sometimes. Like, sometimes I'm not totally familiar w/the trends they follow or the things they like. I mentioned getting a Wii, and my bf totally dissed me cuz Wiis are for kids. I guess Xboxes are cooler.

 

I feel like I'm hearing more and more stories about people dating much older than themselves. I'm really interested in learning how these couples are able to cope with all the social differences that are inherent with their age gaps. For example, if a woman is dating a younger man how do his friends treat her? I wonder if she feels uncomfortable around them because of their differing interests? If anyone has any stories relating to this topic and feel comfortable sharing I would love to hear about them.

 

Thanks!

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Just curious-are you the elder, or the younger one in the rel"ship?

 

See my post-my bf is 25 and I am 41 going on 42.

 

This is perhaps a strange comment, but I know that one of the major arguments against age gap relationships is that, when it comes to life expectancy, one of the partners will die and leave the remaining partner a widow (or widower).

 

But I had an interesting thought -- when it comes to interracial dating, we know that, statistically speaking, Asians (esp. Affluent Asian Americans) have a longer life expectancy than Caucasians (Asian Americans avg. 84 years whilst US Caucasians avg. 76 years). Perhaps this is an argument for age gap relationships if the older partner is an Asian American.

 

I don't know -- perhaps I'm just trying to tell myself my own relationship is okay -- the elder of us is 37. The younger is 21 (same age difference as Ashton and Demi). The elder is Asian American.

 

I'd appreciate feedback.

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I spent 2 yrs with a wonderful girl her 27 and me 40. We had an awesome time with our friends. My friends are definatly not your typical 40 yr olds. We have all bucked the system but been succsessful. My best friends wife still tells me that she liked this girl better than anyone I have been with....she has known me my whole dating life 26 yrs. It can totally work in fact the age gap is a novelty for a few months then its just a man and a women in a relationship at least that is what I have found.

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Just curious-are you the elder, or the younger one in the rel"ship?

 

See my post-my bf is 25 and I am 41 going on 42.

 

Like you, I am the older one in the relationship.

 

And I see we have something in common (with each other and Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher and Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes) -- 16 years apart from our significant other...

 

Like you, I look young for my age.

 

I guess I just want to hear from others that relationships with large age gaps can work out.

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I'm 41 (will be 42 in a week!) and dating a guy who's 25. His friends treat me fine. The ones who are close to him like me cuz I can hang with them. The ones who aren't, don't even know my age. I look much younger than my age.

 

I actually have more in common w/him and his friends than I do with a lot of older guys. However, I do slip up sometimes. Like, sometimes I'm not totally familiar w/the trends they follow or the things they like. I mentioned getting a Wii, and my bf totally dissed me cuz Wiis are for kids. I guess Xboxes are cooler.

 

I, too, like Wii's

 

Much more fun for casual gameplay and groups of friends.

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I'm 41 (will be 42 in a week!) and dating a guy who's 25. His friends treat me fine. The ones who are close to him like me cuz I can hang with them. The ones who aren't, don't even know my age. I look much younger than my age.

 

I actually have more in common w/him and his friends than I do with a lot of older guys. However, I do slip up sometimes. Like, sometimes I'm not totally familiar w/the trends they follow or the things they like. I mentioned getting a Wii, and my bf totally dissed me cuz Wiis are for kids. I guess Xboxes are cooler.

 

hey, me and my friend are both 25 and we play Wii

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  • 2 weeks later...

to be honest with you i think its messed up how adults always think negative about the age differs..my mom always told me that my man would end up raping/and or hurting me..it still hasnt happened and it never will..i wish people would quit telling other people what they should and should not do in a relationship..they dont even know them so why do they talk?

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