Did I make the wrong move?

[ironfreak247]

My ex-gf and I have been broke up since Jan. But we continued to be "friends with benefits". It became clear in March that we still loved each other too much to be FWB and know that each of us was also seeing someone else, so we decided the only way for us to heal and let go would be no contact.

 

Before we decided this, I bought concert tickets for us. Now since we decided to go NC, I didn't really wanna go anymore cuz I'd think of her the whole time and wouldn't really enjoy it. Plus there was no one else I wanted to take other than her. So I put them in an envelope n left them on her door with a note saying:

 

"It was real generous what you did for me when Disturbed came into town. I haven't forgotten it and I wanna return the favor. Take a friend. It doesn't matter who. And enjoy yourself.

 

She texted me later on telling me to come get them, and that if she wasn't goin with me she didn't wanna go. I finally talked her into keeping them, and she told me she knows I think she'll take this new guy she's seein but she's not...and the offer is there for me to go with her.

 

Yesterday she sends me a text about another concert we had planned to go to that happened last nite. She jokingly asked "what time are u picking me up " I told her I'd go but didn't have the cash and that I had some work to do. She asked later if that meant that I really had a "hot date, wink wink". I told her no. She said she was j/k and told me to enjoy my nite.

 

What do you guys think of this situation? I know she's seeing another guy, possibly a couple guys, and I've been talking to a few girls. Only one is a sexual relationship right now. But I can't keep her off my mind even when I'm with these other girls. I find myself checking her Myspace and trying to see if her friends leave any comments about her new guy(s). This is totally unlike me. I wonder if she does the same. I know I probably shouldn't have left the concert tix on her door, but I really wanted her to have them. Damn, I'm a mess...

[waveseer]

Decide. Currently you are being very unfair to the other women in your life.

[Elsewhere]

IMO you guys should just go back together and stop fighting your feelings.

[indierockgrl]

it sounds like you are both trying to keep that window open.... you def need to decide what you want.. is it being single or being with this girl?

 

choose... and stick with NC if the choice isnt with her.... otherwise you are setting yourself up for disaster.

[FloatingAnchor]

IMO you guys should just go back together and stop fighting your feelings.

 

Agreed. What's stopping you? What did you break up over?

[ironfreak247]

We broke up over trust issues. She became really jealous and untrusting...not to say I didn't cause some of it. I was dishonest with her about some things, but before it was all said and done I came clean about it all with her. I never cheated or wanted to. I never talked to girls that were anything more than just friends. I was never even friends with any girl that I had hooked up with from the past, although I tried to be with one girl, which caused lots of problems with us and I eventually had to cut contact with her. Plus she said she felt like I wasn't 100% into the relationship like she was, which I felt was wrong. I was happy with what we had. But things happened, and we ended up breaking up. The love is still there and still strong, but so much has happened now that I don't think we could do it again and succeed. I know she would hold things against me and I know I would hold things against her, mainly the fact that she's now hooking up with a guy she kept in touch with while we were together. A guy she hooked up with a couple years ago and swore there was nothing there anymore, that nothing bad had happened between them and that he was just an acquaintance now. I can't shake the feeling that she kept him around for a reason. She tells me that it's just sex and an occasional night out with him, and that she never initiates contact. And of course I'm hooking up with someone too. This girl knows all about my ex and what we're going through; I haven't hidden anything from her.

 

It sucks cuz I still love my ex dearly; I think about her every day. I have good moments when I know I'm gonna be ok, but then thoughts of her with him or some other guy send me spiralling back down again. Ugh....it's like she said to me once before...."why can't love just make everything ok?"

 

I didn't have an answer for that one.