Ex Emailed about Potential Awkwardness at Party

[pestilence]

1. Seeing her facebook avatar was unavoidable. As far as I understand the mechanics of the website, even if you aren't listed as a friend, you can still see the avatar if they send you a message. Additionally, you'll be able to see their "Basic Info" for 30 days after they sent the e-mail (and now that I've replied, she will see mine for the next 30 days).

 

I should have her "blocked", but I'm not going to play that game. Yes, the fact that she has a guy in her avatar is kind of getting under my skin, but I'm not turning into jelly at the thought - I don't control her, and she can do with the relationship what she wants - only she'll be there to screw it up (or have the opposite). Blocking is petty. Not having her listed as a friend is enough for me. I have no idea if mutual friends tell her what's up with me (I can't help it if they do, but my close guy friends just say to try to get by and not think about it until something *concrete* changes). I know they have her on their Facebook friends list, and every once in a blue moon I see what she writes on their Facebook walls (and I can't see what is written on hers, obviously).

 

2. I have good days and bad days. This is a bad day. I'm starting to re-think my reply to her.

 

Was it too antagonistic? Will my response make her uncomfortable? Will she answer it at all? Is there a lot of pressure in telling her why would I be upset if you came to the party (hinting at the failed relationship)? How do you think she might have taken it?

 

I thought I was being nonchalant, but maybe that just put a wrench in the works?

 

I'm so upset about this!

 

I'm going out of mind some days.

 

I just keep wondering - why all the bloody contact if she wants me out of her life?

 

Any advice please

[pestilence]

1. Seeing her facebook avatar was unavoidable. As far as I understand the mechanics of the website, even if you aren't listed as a friend, you can still see the avatar if they send you a message. Additionally, you'll be able to see their "Basic Info" for 30 days after they sent the e-mail (and now that I've replied, she will see mine for the next 30 days).

 

I should have her "blocked", but I'm not going to play that game. Yes, the fact that she has a guy in her avatar is kind of getting under my skin, but I'm not turning into jelly at the thought - I don't control her, and she can do with the relationship what she wants - only she'll be there to screw it up (or have the opposite). Blocking is petty. Not having her listed as a friend is enough for me. I have no idea if mutual friends tell her what's up with me (I can't help it if they do, but my close guy friends just say to try to get by and not think about it until something *concrete* changes). I know they have her on their Facebook friends list, and every once in a blue moon I see what she writes on their Facebook walls (and I can't see what is written on hers, obviously).

 

2. I have good days and bad days. This is a bad day. I'm starting to re-think my reply to her.

 

Was it too antagonistic? Will my response make her uncomfortable? Will she answer it at all? Is there a lot of pressure in telling her why would I be upset if you came to the party (hinting at the failed relationship)? How do you think she might have taken it?

 

I thought I was being nonchalant, but maybe that just put a wrench in the works?

 

I'm so upset about this!

 

I'm going out of mind some days.

 

I just keep wondering - why all the bloody contact if she wants me out of her life?

 

Any advice please

[jul-els]

You've gotta stop beating yourself up, man. You're no mind reader and you never will be no matter how hard you may try. You're going through the transition phase and sometimes that can be rough. You've just gotta get through it and keep your chin up.