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I feel like throwing in the towel....


VTR-RC51

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This all only applies to the last month or so...but...

 

No matter how hard I try with her...she doesn't open up to me. No matter how I try to make her understand that I am here for her...she doesn't lean on me. She secludes herself to deal with her stresses ALONE. Communication has completely gone out the door. This is an LDR...and I assume its so much easier to take someone for granted...but holy hell...I'm not asking for much.

 

Granted she is being stretched in a thousand different ways...but is it that hard to maintain a small stream of communication with someone you supposedly care about?

 

Am I trying to hard? Should I just give it more time? Damn, I just want to give up and call it quits....

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Some times stepping back helps clear your vision. Getting someone to open up is very hard to do. It needs to be on their own terms. It can't be rushed or pushed onto them. I know it is frustrating to want to help someone you care for deeply only to have them not accept the what you are offering.

 

Perhaps you could make it clear to her your feelings and that you will there for her but you will be backing off a little to let her decide what she wants to do. Giving her the power to decide her own fate/solutions can do wonders.

 

Lastly, like many men I have a hard time just listening. We as males want to fix the problem when women sometimes don't want us to fix it for them they just want us to listen and understand. In reality women do not need us to rescue them, only to support them as they go through tough times.

 

best wishes

 

lost

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Thank you for that...your words make a lot of sense. It is so frustrating, and I do wish i could help her in some way...though understanding that I cannot. Which is why I get so frustrated.

 

I believe I have already made it clear to her about my intentions of being there for support. I've sent her a detailed email and I have backed off somewhat from initiating contact. Just letting her be on her own, and deal with her issues without having to think about me.

 

What bothers me is that I see her online...I see her spending time writing blogs...I see her spending time responding to someones post. So if she can spend the time to do these things, why is it so hard to spend 5 mins to catch up with me? It just seems like she is sending me a message...

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