Is too much advice bad?

[Mustang]

Anyone else have this kind of problem? Part of me thinks that I shouldn't read so many of these advice websites and forums.

 

The reason being, I read so many things about how to be the guy that girls want and it's downright confusing! It's like I have so much thoughts in my head about how I'm supposed to act that I tend to just be a bit robotic and not really being my true self. Does that make sense?

 

Obviously, it's good to know what to look for and what not to say/do in certain situations but do any of you think that sometimes this can also be a bad thing. Instead of just "going with the flow" we are almost in a state of doing things "by the book" and in doing that, we lose some of the excitement because it comes accross as a bit formulaic...

 

It goes the other way as well, sometimes your confidence can go down if you're not getting the signals that you're told to look out for. Which makes you either quit or up your efforts in which case you scare the other person away

 

Not sure if I'm making any sense, I was just wondering if anybody thinks that sometimes ignorance can be bliss?

[Scorpion Fury]

Just take anything we say with a grain of salt and use your own judgment. We can only give our perspective based on what you tell us. Ultimately, you will have to decide what to do and what not to do

[HouseKitten]

The only advice from books or sites that I've ever hung onto and actually stuck to is the whole 'he's just not that into you' philosophy.

 

I'm newly single and made a few mistakes with the first guy I started seeing after the breakup. Since reading the book He's Just Not That Into You (and seeing the film haha) I feel a lot better about dating and men, because it gave me the ability to look at a man's behaviour and confidently assess whether or not he's actually worth the effort

 

So that one thing helped but I do refrain from posting every single time I have a minor problem cos I know I overthink and talking about stuff and blowing it out of proportion doesn't help!

 

I do think there are too many self-help books and ideas out there, people might find it more relaxing if they just used common sense and trial and error... but thats just based on how I feel and some people have changed their lives through the help they get off sites and books and articles

[Mustang]

I do refrain from posting every single time I have a minor problem cos I know I overthink and talking about stuff and blowing it out of proportion doesn't help!

 

That's a really good point.

 

I think I'm guilty of coming on here and updating every single time I have an issue which probably tends to build things up in my head more than if I didn't.

 

I know it's stupid but it's like if I talk and talk about stuff then eventually someone will come along and give me the perfect answers. I know that's not going to happen but on some subconscious I think I hope for that whenever I post things on here!

[Scorpion Fury]

If I post something, it's usually because I just want opinions and I'm curious to see what other people think, and sometimes I don't even necessarily want advice. At the end of the day, I always go with my own judgment.

[fiona77]

I am very thankful that this site is here, but I do think you definitely need to be wary and listen to your gut. I think most of us posting questions on here already know the answer to our problems, or at least the answers we want to hear! I think these sites are good in that they can reaffirm your feelings if you are wavering a bit, but in the long run it all comes down to ourselves, you're the one that has to live with you.

[Dubb]

Sounds like you are talking about meeting women? You do run the risk of becoming a robot. I think what you need to do it take all the information you have learned and pick out the stuff you feel suits you. After that internalize it and get out there and use it. Eventually it will become much more natural to you. Almost second nature. Think of the stuff you read as training wheels. It's just stuff to get you started.

 

I hope this is what you were talking about?

[Mustang]

Sounds like you are talking about meeting women? You do run the risk of becoming a robot. I think what you need to do it take all the information you have learned and pick out the stuff you feel suits you. After that internalize it and get out there and use it. Eventually it will become much more natural to you. Almost second nature. Think of the stuff you read as training wheels. It's just stuff to get you started.

 

I hope this is what you were talking about?

 

I was kind of talking about both really. I just was saying that maybe sometimes having too much advice and knowledge can be a bad thing. I was just wondering what everyone else thought about it really.

 

I do agree though that everything online should be used as a guide rather than a bible...

[pinkrobot]

I completely appreciate the advice I get when I ask for it...but I agree, what usually happens is that the amount of it overwhelms me, I start overanalyzing things, and I'm even more confused than where I started.

 

Mostly I ask for advice because it helps to know I'm not the only one who's ever NEEDED that kind of advice...you know what I'm saying? Just helps me feel a bit more normal and it's comforting to know other people have been in my shoes before.