Jump to content

Poll: If you're attracted to someone, do you talk about other people you're attracted to?


stella74

If you're attracted to someone, do you talk about other people you're attracted to?  

32 members have voted

  1. 1. If you're attracted to someone, do you talk about other people you're attracted to?

    • Yes, maybe it will him/her jealous and realize what a catch I am
      5
    • Yes, I want him/her to know I'm available and looking around
      7
    • No, I would never do such a thing
      20


Recommended Posts

I see this question on here from time to time and thought it might help to do a poll.

 

I just had someone do this to me yesterday. He's someone that I know is attracted to me (a friend told me) and when I ran into him yesterday, he flirted a bit then said he had asked a woman out on a date this week and was very excited. My gut reaction was to be turned off. Personally, I never talk about people I like to someone I hope wants to date me!

 

What about you? If you're attracted to someone and want to date him or her, do you talk about other people you like or are dating?

Link to comment
I see this question on here from time to time and thought it might help to do a poll.

 

I just had someone do this to me yesterday. He's someone that I know is attracted to me (a friend told me) and when I ran into him yesterday, he flirted a bit then said he had asked a woman out on a date this week and was very excited. My gut reaction was to be turned off. Personally, I never talk about people I like to someone I hope wants to date me!

 

What about you? If you're attracted to someone and want to date him or her, do you talk about other people you like or are dating?

 

Absolutely not...I would not bring up other people. That's just crazy.

Link to comment

Not exactly talk about other people, but talk about funny first date experiences, or the dating scene... basically to drop a hint that I'm available because most women my age in the circles I run in, are married with kids. If I don't mention I'm single, most guys assume I am married.

 

I did well with this - got the guy I was interested in to start talking about the bad series of first dates he has been on lately too. It helped us laugh and form a bit of a connection.

Link to comment
COtuner, would you specifically mention an individual person? In other words, it's different to generally mention you're dating versus talking about a specific person you're dating or want to date.

 

I described a guy I was interested in and who turned out to be married, as well as another specific individual who was a mistake. He responded by laughing and teasing me and that was the first time he actually touched me (on the back). We can't date because of a professional relationship we have, but it was nice to know we were sharing the vibe.

 

Mine was all humorous, almost a stand up comedy routine to pass the time. (he was training me to do something during this interaction)

Link to comment

Not if it's someone I'm interested in dating. You should never discuss other hotties with someone you're dating. It's a turn off, at least for me.

 

If it's someone that I think is attractive but I'll never have any interest in dating, then yeah I might, depending on how I interact with them.

Link to comment

No, definitely not. Something about it just doesn't seem right. When a guy I'm into talks about other girls, it makes me jealous and it also makes me assume he's not interested in anything with me. I mean...if you're talking to me about another girl--why would I think you'd be into me at all?

Link to comment

I'm referring to situations where you either know the person already or have just met. And it's between two people where there could possibly be attraction.

 

yeawutever, I'm assuming if you're talking to a friend about guys you like and you're both interested in guys, then this doesn't apply unless you're bi. This doesn't apply if you're a hetero female talking to a gay male you might be attracted to, since you know he'd never be attracted in return. If you're a bi female talking to a bi male or bi female about guys you like, then this would apply.

Link to comment
yeawutever, I'm assuming if you're talking to a friend about guys you like and you're both interested in guys, then this doesn't apply unless you're bi. This doesn't apply if you're a hetero female talking to a gay male you might be attracted to, since you know he'd never be attracted in return. If you're a bi female talking to a bi male or bi female about guys you like, then this would apply.

 

No I'm not bi, just your average straight girl talking to another female friend about the other cute guys there're. Now when I was getting to my know LDR boyfriend, me and this female friends would talk about guys and then she was like ''Don't miss out your chance, if he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes to him''. Then she went on telling me the other she like. But at the same time I was talking about this other online guy I liked to my friend while being on that date. Then at the time when she was broken up with her boyfriend she hang out with two guys would talk about them to me when they were gone.

Link to comment

If it's someone that I think is attractive but I'll never have any interest in dating, then yeah I might, depending on how I interact with them.

 

Yes, this makes sense. It seems someone might talk about another person to make it clear that even if there's attraction, there's no possibility for dating.

 

When a guy I'm into talks about other girls, it makes me jealous and it also makes me assume he's not interested in anything with me. I mean...if you're talking to me about another girl--why would I think you'd be into me at all?

 

Yes, I assume he's not really interested in me.

Link to comment
I see this question on here from time to time and thought it might help to do a poll.

 

I just had someone do this to me yesterday. He's someone that I know is attracted to me (a friend told me) and when I ran into him yesterday, he flirted a bit then said he had asked a woman out on a date this week and was very excited. My gut reaction was to be turned off. Personally, I never talk about people I like to someone I hope wants to date me!

 

What about you? If you're attracted to someone and want to date him or her, do you talk about other people you like or are dating?

 

maybe he thinks of you as a friend? i've been attracted to friends, but not enough to date them.

Link to comment

maybe he thinks of you as a friend? i've been attracted to friends, but not enough to date them.

 

Exactly, Ghost. That's what I think often happens, and I think what happened in my situation (even though my friend told me he was attracted to me). We can be attracted to a friend but not enough to date him or her. That's why it turns me off and makes me think someone is not interested in me if I hear him talk about another woman he is attracted to.

Link to comment
Exactly, Ghost. That's what I think often happens, and I think what happened in my situation (even though my friend told me he was attracted to me). We can be attracted to a friend but not enough to date him or her. That's why it turns me off and makes me think someone is not interested in me if I hear him talk about another woman he is attracted to.

 

i've had it both ways. the physical was totally there, but mentally we just didn't click. then friends that i did click with mentally, but physically, it just wouldn't work out. nothing against the person, just not my type for anything further. they are great friends. they know how i feel about them too. i've told them.

 

it is also possible the guy doesn't know you are attracted to him and wouldn't make a move because he fears you aren't wanting anything further. but it is a chance you take crossing that line.

Link to comment

Yes, Ghost, that may be. He may not be sure I'm attracted to him. I think this is a good discussion because sometimes people don't realize the signals they're giving off and inadvertently sabotage themselves.

 

Here's another example I just remembered:

I went on a date with someone who asked me out. We met through a friend and the friend told me he was attracted to me. During the date, he joked about how he had a crush on a mutual female friend of ours. Who knows what he was thinking, but needless to say I put him completely off my radar after that.

Link to comment
Yes, Ghost, that may be. He may not be sure I'm attracted to him. I think this is a good discussion because sometimes people don't realize the signals they're giving off and inadvertently sabotage themselves.

 

Here's another example I just remembered:

I went on a date with someone who asked me out. We met through a friend and the friend told me he was attracted to me. During the date, he joked about how he had a crush on a mutual female friend of ours. Who knows what he was thinking, but needless to say I put him completely off my radar after that.

 

See, that wouldn't bother me in the least. My last BF (that I'm on a break from) once told me very early on that he found some other women at work attractive.

 

I guess because I always assume no guy I am actually attracted to wants to date me, that I am always chatting in a friendly and open manner. I also don't participate in "the dating scene" - never did the club thing or the bar thing, never dated in college or high school, so actively going out with the thought in mind to hook up has never actually crossed my mind.

Link to comment

I appreciate your perspective COtuner. I can definitely see how a friendship might develop prior to an attraction, and in that case it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to talk about people to whom you're attracted. I think that might work if both people want to be platonic friends first for a while and then a romantic or sexual attraction develops from that.

 

I was best friends with my very first long-term boyfriend, for months before we started dating. But I don't recall that he talked about other girls he liked. I can see that happening though in a different situation like yours.

Link to comment
I appreciate your perspective COtuner. I can definitely see how a friendship might develop prior to an attraction, and in that case it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to talk about people to whom you're attracted. I think that might work if both people want to be platonic friends first for a while and then a romantic or sexual attraction develops from that.

 

I was best friends with my very first long-term boyfriend, for months before we started dating. But I don't recall that he talked about other girls he liked. I can see that happening though in a different situation like yours.

 

 

Well, the attraction is there from the get go in the instance I described, and we're strangers (just do business together once a month). It's just that being direct is generally frowned upon in the circles I run in. You need to establish some common ground before suggesting more conversation occur over a beer or coffee. It's all much more subtle. The things most people talk about in professional environments are work stories or social life stories to pass the time. So other women and other men often come up.

 

I've found they step up their interest if they know I am still available. In fact, this particular guy started glaring at a guy he saw me out with a couple days later, thinking I was on a date. He was looking the guy I was with, up and down, walking by several times, and I had a hard time not laughing... I wasn't on a date, we were actually grabbing lunch between business meetings.

Link to comment

I would only do it at the very beginning of meeting someone I like just to gauge their reaction and see if they're interested in me or not, and only if it was the truth, I wouldn't make something up just to make him jealous. But I would never tell him I'm going on a date with someone, that would totally kill all chances of us getting together. If someone did that to me, total turn-off.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...