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he's gorgeous n nice..i have trust issues PLEASE HELP!

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well my bf and i have been together for almost 2 and a half years, hes the nicest guy in the world, hes confident and hes really handsome (to me anyway!)...hes 23 im 21 but ive known him since high school. ive never been a jealous person, but with him everythings changed, i woke up this morning and i had this horrible dream that he was holding and hugging his ex gf, he goes to school with her, but he doenst talk to her at all..and i know that their relationship was horrible, this isnt the first dream ive had (not with his ex but just imaginary girls) but im always scared that hes gonna cheat on me, (not to be conceited) but im a nice-looking woman, i know that there are not many girls that r like me, and i trust when he says that im the most beautiful woman in the world to him (even if im not its a nice gesture! lol) and were talking about marriage, i mean, i think we both agree that we are soul mates. i dont know why i get so paranoid and jealous! deep down i really, truly know that he wont do anything...but why do i feel so scared? i also discovered that it simply might just be the fact that i know hes the one, and the only way that that could change is if one of us cheats, and i dont want this to end! were moving in together in september, but how can i forget this insecure feeling of mine?...weve talked about it, and the only thing he can do is comfort me and tell me that im the love of his life and no other girl will change that...why do i still feel like sh**t..? also how can he be soo secure and sure, while im the oposite? why am i so insecure and how can i change that!? PLEASE HELPP!!!!

PS. im also scared that this might eventually drive him away....(so i kinda lose both way, drive him away cuz of my jealousy, or live life being scared that he will cheat on me..oh! please help me!)

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There is a leap of faith you must have in the one you are giving everything to.

I was cheated on by the woman I was with for 20 years. Did I worry about it everyday. No! You must let go and trust that the person you want to spend the rest of your life with will not betray you. I don't see this as jealousy. It sounds like insecrurity on your part. He isn't causing it by his actions and words so it could be somthing from your past. Perhaps reading a few books on the subject might help you discover the root of your problem. Once found you should be able to get a better handle on why and also what to do to better yourself.


You are right that he will start to resent that fact that you do not trust him. Let him know you are working on this issue and involve him a little so he can see that it is important you to make your relationship stronger.


good luck



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i understand where you are coming from. my boyfriend and i have been together for 1 1/2 years and i have never had any reason not to trust him, but it can still be difficult. i really believe it will be one of those things that will get easier with time. and actually, i think its a good sign. it means you really love him. [if you didn't, you wouldnt care, would you?] you do need to try and work on it though. if he has never done anything to cause you to doubt him, then he deserves to have your trust. whenever you are having a moment of doubt or you feel skeptical of his real feelings about you or your appearance, just force yourself to remember that you have no reason to distrust him but every reason to believe him.

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