saltandvinegar Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Have you ever broken off a casual thing with someone because the other person (the girl) wanted more, and told them there is no way that you ever want a serious relationship with them, ever, at all. And then weeks or months later changed your mind? Or realised that you DO have real feelings for them later down the track? Has this ever happened to anyone, or does it only happen in movies.? ? ? ? Link to comment
candy1978 Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 hey there....yeah it's happened to me b4....but i left it well to late to let him know and he moved on! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yes it can happen. In my opinion, sex is a very emotional thing, even to guys. They may not realize it NOW, but maybe later they just start thinking about the girl and realize how wonderful they really are. Not sure if that's the kind of relationship you two shared, but that's just my 2 cents. Link to comment
Aeryn Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Kind of what I'm waiting to see eventually happens or not. For some reason, I'm suspecting that it wont, but whatever, it's all good. Only difference is mine wasn't just a casual thing, it was an actual relationship, lol. My ex broke up with me three weeks ago. His primary reason for the breakup was that, "I don't see a future between us or this relationship. In fact, I don't want a relationship period, ever, with anyone. I don't want to settle down, have kids, get married, or any of that. I'm not coming back to you, and if I ever did, it'd be years down the road when I'm 30 or older and have changed my mind about wanting all of this stuff." My ex is a freakin train wreck at times though. One day he wants to get married and start a family, the next day he doesn't. The dude doesn't know wth he wants...and I'm glad he broke up with me, because now he can figure this stuff out, and I don't have to be stuck wondering what he does or does not want anymore. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yeh this happens all the time, but it's not really fair. I think its just missing the companionship, especially if you haven't found anyone else to "replace" them as such. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 When I first met my ex he'd just broken up with his girlfriend and I'd just broken up with someone as well. Him comforting me turned into sex. We did try the FWB thing but I had really strong feelings for him after a while. I couldn't tell you the number of times I cried over him, or he told me there was no chance we'd ever have a proper relationship, simply because he didn't want one. I suffered through a year of that, entirely self-inflicted, I should have left of course but after a year he developed feelings as well and ended up asking me to be his girlfriend properly. Then we were together for three years after that. I don't think we're the rule though, more like the exception. If I knew someone else was in that situation my advice would still be get out and find someone who values you enough to make you their girlfriend. You can hang on in the hope he'll change his mind but what if he never does? Don't waste time on someone who doesn't appreciate you. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yes it can happen. In my opinion, sex is a very emotional thing, even to guys. They may not realize it NOW, but maybe later they just start thinking about the girl and realize how wonderful they really are. Not sure if that's the kind of relationship you two shared, but that's just my 2 cents. Yeah we had sex for a year, a kind of no strings thing. Then we had a very ugly breakup because i wanted a relationship It was such an ugly break up that Im worried theres no way he will ever gather any feelings to make him want me. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 thats EXACTLY like me, except he didnt develop feelings. He would get rid of me each time i would bring the subject up. Now i think it is too late.. Link to comment
saltandvinegar Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 We dont even see each other now. I wont even bump into him anywhere. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 It was such an ugly break up You two didn't break up. YOu never were a couple. I think that is the part you can't grasp. Do you really think this man will find he has feelings for you? Saltandv i really thought you were getting over this and him. You are still in denial. This man never thought anything more of you than a toy. You are hoping he will wake up one day and think man i really miss her! Based on all i know about this, and i hope this doesn't sound too harsh but I doubt you have entered this man's mind since you left. He never did ONE thing to give you the impression that you were anything more than a time filler at the moment you were there. I don't think he had an ounce of respect for you or even looked at you once as a woman who could be a viable girlfriend. I say this all bluntly because there is no way to sugarcoat this. I think you need counseling. I am shocked after all this time you are still hanging on to this guy. He never once gave you an indicator that you two were dating. You didn't break up because there was never a relationshp. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I am sorry to say that this will never turn into a relationship. Sounds like he made his position very clear to you. I know it sucks -- I was in FWB at one time too, with someone I thought I was in love with. But how can you love someone when they don't love you back? It is uneven and by definition they have to deceive you. It was just a mess, and I had to walk away. Link to comment
Lush Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 No, don't think this has happened to me, but your name is making me want some chips. Link to comment
ratfreak Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I think that once you decide on leaving someone, you don't go back unless you just want to fool around. I woudn't hold your breath and especially if he's said he doesn't want a relationship with you - wether said out of anger or not - he's shown how he really feels. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Well, brutal honesty is best. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Yeah we had sex for a year, a kind of no strings thing. Then we had a very ugly breakup because i wanted a relationship It was such an ugly break up that Im worried theres no way he will ever gather any feelings to make him want me. Once a guy has sex with a girl he doesn't even love/care for, he'll just leave you behind, or just pretends he likes you just to keep you on the back burner. I know the truth hurts, but you gotta move on. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Well, brutal honesty is best. Well at this point sugarcoating it won't help since it has been nearing a year ago I do believe and the threads are now gone but there was a lot of backdrop on this topic that I am very familiar with. That is why you saw the skinny and not a lot of fluff. Link to comment
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