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Why girls play games


complexlove

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Why do girls like to play mind games?

 

There's the "Would you love me if..." game:

"Would you love me if I was fat?" .... ok that's a common question. fair enough.

but...

"Would you love me if I was a cat? a tree?...that lamppost?!" ....huh?!

 

 

Then there's the "what if..." game:

"What if I wanted you to stop doing this hobby or that hobby?"

"What if I wanted you to be more (some personality trait)?"

"What if I wanted you to get rid of (cherished item a) or (cherished item b)?"

And if you answer...

"But that is from my great grandmother" "Or that's my favorite (fill in the blank)"

The response goes something like...

"What?! Your choosing this object over me?"

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I think it's a power game born of insecurity, but I'm not sure as I've never worried that an object would be more important than me.

 

Power game meaning she wants to be able to get you to do whatever you want?

 

Of course no object is more important than your significant others. But doesn't mean you should throw away all your belongings to proof that that object is not more important. Right?

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i don't think it's a game of insecurity...not to me anyways. i ask LOTS of questions and i just like knowing. for e.g. this is our convo:

me: "would you love me if i was 250 lbs?"

him: "no because i wouldnt be able to pick you up the stairs and go to the bedroom"

me: "okay i'll just lift you up then"

 

it depends what she says or does after asking...

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Of course no object is more important than your significant others. But doesn't mean you should throw away all your belongings to proof that that object is not more important. Right?

 

Absolutely, objects and people are on separate planes of existence albeit connected planes. People can grow attached to objects but those are more like facinations. Explain to her that an object could never compete with her for your affection and thus could never be a threat.

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haha I play that all the time! just for fun though.

 

"would you love me if...

...I was a * * * * ?"

...I had a penis?"

...I was a guy? how about a transgendered one?"

etc. it's not power play at all, or insecurities, at least not from me. it's funny watching his reactions. in the end he ends up saying "but you're not (a guy/fat/endowed/etc)! no point imagining the scenario" and stops thinking about it. I guess that's the only way to go, especially when the questions start getting ridiculous?

 

hehehe

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omg. there are girls that actually ask these questions? what is the point? ive never even had those thoughts cross my mind let alone ask them!

 

guess there are quite a few immature girls out there if they ask u them seriously. probably think if you answer them or do them you love them more. messed up way at looking at it.

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I'm so surprised at this, too! Who asks these kinda Qs?

Yes, like other posters here said, surely sign of insecurity, immaturity, leading to a desire to control a man. I don't know why women want to control men like this, trying, nagging so that they give up something that they enjoy, you get them to spend time with you and turn them into whiny, crabby kids. I would be so happy if my partner does 1 activity that I totally hate (like sports, cars, nonsensical racing n chasing sports, action movies would give me more time to take care of my beauty or just be by myself, make new friends, gossip with my girlfriends, or go somewhere on my own, n have some peace of mind.

If a man has to ask me those Qs, "what if I gain weight and become fat like a barrel?" my answer "what do you think we are living next to a cute guy for?"

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"Would you love me if I was fat?"

"What if I wanted you to stop doing this hobby or that hobby?"

"What if I wanted you to be more (some personality trait)?"

"What if I wanted you to get rid of (cherished item a) or (cherished item b)?"

 

The answer? "What a strange question. Why would you ask something like that?"

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I had no idea women ask those kinds of questions.

 

I joke to my husband that I'm going to gain all kinds of weight when I get old and he's going to be stuck with me cuz he signed on the dotted line. lol... the fear in his eyes is hilarious

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I'm very similar to servedcold. Basically, it turns into a tease from my side. Example: "Are you fishing for compliments? That's what it sounds like."

 

And, if I'm interested, "You don't need to fish for compliments from me. I already think you're beautiful."

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I agree, these are silly questions---I mean, i've been known to ask a few questions from The Book of Questions but that was to find out what his morals/ values kind of were.

 

She sounds super-insecure. Have you tried responding with "I love you. Stop asking me silly questions like you're fishing for an argument."

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it's not necessarily fishing for compliments.

what about questions such as "would you rather eat your least favorite food for life, or die tomorrow?" and "if you could only take one object onto an island, which would it be?' etc

 

eh not for everyone. but just provoking thoughts beyond the ordinary 'what's for dinner/what movie to watch' stuff.

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he just asked me today, would I marry a guy who had a wife and kids if he was a great famous scientist/star that fell in love with me.

 

it is as much of a 'getting to know you' question as any other. like, stuff that wouldn't happen IRL anyway, but just a mental exercise. it's just for fun! but I understand, if people start doing this stuff for actual reasons of low self-esteem/fishing for compliments/arguments, it could be really annoying.

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