ohnaiveone Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 few months back a pipe burst in my house. The guy that I was dating at the time does remodel work and offered to fix my bathroom. At the time he had said that I would just need to pay for the materials and he and his guys would do the work. A couple of weeks after the bathroom was completed we started having some issues in our relationship and he said that he wanted $2,000 for the work on the bathroom. I wrote him a check but then found out he cheated on me before he cashed the check, so I stopped payment on the check. I stopped payment mostly because I was hurt but partly too because we had never talked about me paying him to do the work. He said that he wanted to do the work because "he loved me". He did a great job on the bathroom and had I paid someone it would have cost a heck of a lot more than the $2,000 he's asking for. Also, I don't have the $2,000 to pay him and had we discussed the cost prior to him doing the work I might have been a little more prepared. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 The work is worth it, do the honorable thing and pay him. It has nothing to do with his infidelity and everything to do with not feeling like you owe him anything. Link to comment
ResonanceTheory Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I think it's unfair for him to ask for the payment now. He said he wanted to do it for you because he loved you. He didn't say "I want to do this for you because I love you, but if, at some point, I fall out of love with you, I'm going to have to ask you to pay me for it." If, like you said, prior agreements had been made RE: payment, then of course you'd be obligated. TBH, I don't know what your liability is according to the law...but I personally wouldn't pay him. The cheating part would ESPECIALLY make me not want to pay. It's an intangible. It's not like it was an engagement ring. And even with an engagement ring, I believe that, in some states, if the man cheated, the woman can KEEP the ring. If I broke up with a boyfriend, I wouldn't stamp my foot on the ground and demand recompense for the 100's of times I've cleaned the house. If you don't have the money, you don't have it. It was a service he voluntarily performed and there was no stipulation that you would have to pay for the labor at some point in time. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Despite the fact that he cheated, he still did the work and should be paid for it. I'm sorry that the relationship ended, but on the other hand, how would you feel if your employer told you that you're not getting paid for the work you did? Link to comment
ohnaiveone Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 HeartGoesOn I work for a living and when I went to work for my company they gave me a job offer letter that had the salary stated on the letter. The ex and I hadn't discussed any type of payment prior to the work getting started or even during the job. I don't think that you are comparing apples to apples with the job and the repair work. When in a relationship should you expect payment for helping your significant other out? I cleaned his house, transported his kids around, etc. etc. I did these things out of love, not to expect payment if things didn't work out. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 You owe him nothing. He offered to do the bathroom for free on his own accord not by means of you insisting or even asking with promise of a wonderfful life together. Just because the relationship didnt work out doesnt mean you guys have to start paying each other back for all the great things you did for each other by choice. On top of everything he cheated on you so let that be a good lesson learned for him also that what goes around comes around. You gain momentarily by cheating yet you loose in the big picture sooner or later. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Wait wait wait, I read again what you wrote and I think I missunderstood you. If you are refusing to pay for the materials you agreed to pay him for (2000$$) then you must pay it because that is money out of pocket for him and that was your verbal arrangement with him. He can even sue you for this in small claims court. If on the other hand you already paid for the materials and hes now asking for an additional 2000$ for the labor then tell him to take a walk and my above opinion still stands Link to comment
Sparchitecht Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Ah, no. According you your original contract you owe him for the materials only. Yes, you did something vindictive by stopping the payment because he cheated, but he's doing something vindictive by demanding full payment now that the relationship is over. Based on the original agreement I'd have never written him the cheque in the first place, and he wouldn't be the first tradesman that tried the "quote one thing then demand the other" routine that I've laughed at and slammed the door on, either (legally, via lawyer's advice). Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 HeartGoesOn I work for a living and when I went to work for my company they gave me a job offer letter that had the salary stated on the letter. The ex and I hadn't discussed any type of payment prior to the work getting started or even during the job. I don't think that you are comparing apples to apples with the job and the repair work. When in a relationship should you expect payment for helping your significant other out? I cleaned his house, transported his kids around, etc. etc. I did these things out of love, not to expect payment if things didn't work out. Yes, but you had already wrote the 2,000 check for the materials, and as you stated, you sent it, but then stopped payment after finding out that he cheated. I absolutely agree that it was wrong of him to cheat, but the punishment does not fit the crime, and he should be paid for the materials, as you originally had agreed upon. Link to comment
isthisused Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I don’t think you should have to pay him but I think if he were to take you to court and if he lies and says that you agreed to pay him but stopped payment because you were angry that check will most likely win him the case. You should not have given him the check Link to comment
ohnaiveone Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 Wait, wait, wait I guess I didn't mention that I did pay for the materials. I wrote him a check for $1,000 which was $200 over the price of the materials and everything else over and above that $1,000 I purchased on my own when he wasn't around - shower door, floor, faucet, etc. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 No offense, but this story keeps changing. I'm done... Link to comment
ohnaiveone Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 No the story didn't change. I paid for the materials while the work was in progress. We never discussed me paying for the labor and his time - that's what he wants the additional $2,000 for. I do appreciate everyones input on this issue. To me it would have been a non-issue if he would have said something, anything about charging me for labor and his time before doing the work or even while doing the work. Link to comment
ResonanceTheory Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 TBH I don't know what HGO's problem is. You owe this man absolutely nothing. Link to comment
Sparchitecht Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I think HGO just misread the OP and assumed that the $2000 was for materials she'd already agreed to pay for buy hadn't yet. As I understood it, Naive1 said he offered to reno her bathroom as long as she paid for the matierials, which she did, then after their relationship got flushed down the new toilet bowl he got crusty and decided to play the "you owe me now for the labor I didn't mind giving as long as we were doing the dirty and I was happy etc etc..." It's the kind of thing you do when you're a complete loser and just want to take a jab at the other person in the dead relationship to make yourself feel better, but now I'm just throwing stones at shadows. Link to comment
jacques Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 At the time he had said that I would just need to pay for the materials and he and his guys would do the work. Did he give you an invoice for the work that was done? If not offer to pay his hourly labor cost for his employee's (or co-workers) only. He did it because he loved you, but his employee's/co-workers did it because it was their job. Reimburse him the money he paid out for the hourly wages for his "guys" and then tell him to shove off. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 If you've already paid for the materials as was agreed then you owe him nothing. I know a thing or two about contract law and a verbal contract (which is what you have when it comes down to it) is a valid one. He offered to supply labor free of charge, so he can't turn around and change his mind now. On the other hand, if he demanded payment and you agreed to pay, then you may be liable to pay him (as you agreed). Check your local laws. Either way, I find it immature of him to bill you for work he offered for free just because he's pissed. Link to comment
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