Girlfriend vs Job

[complexlove]

My girlfriend moved accross the country for med school. We've been doing long distance for a year, but it sucks and its hard. She's been wanting me to move with her, but I have a full time job that I like. I considered quitting and moving, but in this very unstable economy, its hard to give up a perfectly stable job. There isn't a lot or jobs available for my profession where she is. I feel like she's giving me an ultimatum now, so its job or girlfriend. No to mention all my friends, family, and basically my entire life is here. So i will literally be sacrificing everything for her if I move. Help! I need advice!

[Crush85]

I would say keep the job. If she really loves you, she'll compromise.

[FloatingAnchor]

I can't tell you whether to choose your job or your girlfriend, but keep in mind that after medical school, she'll have to do a residency, which could well be in another city. I would first talk to her about her career plans. Is she going to stay in her current city for residency, move back to your city, or go somewhere else altogether?

[rocio]

Apply for jobs and see what happens. You might find a fantastic opportunity that will further your career. Plus it will demonstrate to her that you are committed.

 

And remember that it is our loved ones that really matter. A job is just a job at the end of the day.

[FloatingAnchor]

Apply for jobs and see what happens. You might find a fantastic opportunity that will further your career. Plus it will demonstrate to her that you are committed.

 

And remember that it is our loved ones that really matter. A job is just a job at the end of the day.

 

Maybe so, but it can become a huge source of conflict if it's not what you're looking for or somehow less than what you have now. You don't want to resent your girlfriend for "making you" give up a good job.

[COtuner]

Apply for jobs and see what happens. You might find a fantastic opportunity that will further your career. Plus it will demonstrate to her that you are committed.

 

And remember that it is our loved ones that really matter. A job is just a job at the end of the day.

 

A good job is not just a job. I agree that her future is not stable right now. On the other hand my guy said he would not move for me no matter what if I had to move for my job again, and it added more fuel to my ongoing withdrawal from him. He has no career, he doesn't care what he does, but he would not support my career and my dreams.... ticked me off (long story, I'll get all riled up). So I can see both sides of this.

[rocio]

Definitly don't do it if you're going to resent her for it. If you do it, you need to first come to a place where you truly feel that you're doing it for yourself - life is tossing you a new opportunity and you're taking it willingly, ready to gracefully accept whatever it brings.

[yeawutever]

I say keep that job of yours for now and if she really cares about you then she should be understanding of your circumstances and not pressuring you.

[Sunny1607307996]

How long has she been in med school? I mean, if she's over halfway done I'd just stick it out LDR and keep your fantastic job.

 

Where is she doing her residency? What type of doctor will she be? Are there lots of jobs in your area for the type of doctor she wants to be? Can you find a decent job where she lives?

 

I think it's time for a heart-to-heart talk about your future with your girlfriend.

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't give up a good job in this economy for any reason, and if GF loves you as much as she claims, she wouldn't try to force you into such a risk. Unless she plans to support both of you--without resentment?

[complexlove]

And remember that it is our loved ones that really matter. A job is just a job at the end of the day.

I agree, job vs love, i choose love. but at the same time, love isn't what puts food on the table.

 

Is she going to stay in her current city for residency, move back to your city, or go somewhere else altogether?

That's a good point, my career requires some sort of stability as do many other careers I'm sure. So it'll be hard to change jobs again and again if she'll be moving all over.

 

How long has she been in med school? I mean, if she's over halfway done I'd just stick it out LDR and keep your fantastic job.

 

Where is she doing her residency? What type of doctor will she be? Are there lots of jobs in your area for the type of doctor she wants to be? Can you find a decent job where she lives?

unfortunately that's not the case. She has only been in school for a year, many more to go. I've done some preliminary job searches for her area, there is not a lot in my field. I refuse to take a job "flipping burgers" after all my years of schooling.

 

Lately, LDR has been a major strain on our relationship. When we're together, everything is good. When we're away, the bickering starts.

[Clarity]

It sounds selfish of her to expect you to move to be with her.

[complexlove]

in her defense, I don't blame her. LDR is hard, and I'm glad she's been able to handle it thus far.

[ghost69]

how old are you guys? how long together, NOT counting the year she has been gone so far?

[complexlove]

we are in our mid-late 20s. Together about a yr, and another year LDR.

[ghost69]

well, so a total of 2 years. that is a huge change to do. i dated a girl for 4.5 years and thought she was great the entire time. i did notice in the end we started to grow apart. we were becoming different people. i broke it off. now that i look back, wow, so glad i did that. back then, we talked about getting married and all of that. even had the license.

[FloatingAnchor]

Personally, I would not compromise my career unless I was engaged or married.