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Ex sent me a message asking why i blocked her.


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First of all, sorry. Sorry that i can't deal with my own problems and i have to keep coming back here to deal with crap i should be able to handle on my own.

 

 

 

I'm just so confused right now. After so long of trying to avoid seeing pictures of them together, and finally blocking her over AIM, she has to go and do this. Once again i see how happy she is with him, and it's killing me.

 

She sent me this:

 

 

"seriously, what did i do to make you block me??

just wondering."

 

 

The truth is, i blocked her because i cant do it anymore. I can't continue hoping she'll come back to me. I still care about her so much and think about her all day every day but what's the point if she's still with him and showing no desire to come back to me?

 

I'm furious, yet sad, and even scared that whatever i decide to do, it's going to eliminate once and for all whatever chance we may have of getting back together. Do i ignore her? Do i reply? If so, what do i say? It was hard enough to make the decision to block her, now she's making me go through this all over again.

 

I'm so confused; i just wanna know what to do, what to say.

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Just tell her exactly what you just said here, that "it is killing you to see them together". If she has a heart at all she should be able to understand that. It's about self preservation. She's living her life, shouldn't you be able to live yours?

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Well, if you're trying to get over her, YOU HAVE TO BLOCK HER COMPLETELY. Do not let her contact you in any way, shape, or form.

 

You do not do anything, you do not reply, you do not give in. You stick with NC for you and don't break under any circumstance. Who's needs are more important? Yours or hers? Act accordingly to your answer.

 

If you come first, you stick to NC and ignore her contact, focus on you and work on healing and rebuilding your life.

 

If she comes first, you will get hurt again and again by putting her needs before your own.

 

Nobody can tell you what is right or wrong, you will learn on your own. But, my advice is to stay away from her. She's with a new guy, it wouldn't ever be the same between you, don't hang on to false hope and focus on your own improvement. She's made her choice, and you've made yours. Will you stick to it?

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"seriously, what did i do to make you block me??

just wondering."

 

 

Just tell her the truth: she broke up with you and that's why you blocked her. Ask her to respect your time and space for the next year and after that point to only contact you again if she wants to get back together.

 

And you don't need to apologize for asking for advice. That's why we're all here. It's a sign of strength that you are willing to ask for help.

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Just respond with, "Truthfully, I just don't like you all that much any more. Sorry." Case closed. You'll never have to worry about her again.

 

But like i said, if it's still possible she may come back, i dont want to destroy that chance by saying something like this

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I personally would wait a couple of days so I was more grounded and then tell her

 

"Sorry I'd only just got her message cos I've been "busy" lately but to answer your question...I guess I'm just moving on.

 

If she wants you back saying that will raise anxiety in her, but if she doesn't, you're moving on and its all she needs to know.

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Just tell her the truth: she broke up with you and that's why you blocked her.

 

if i told her the truth, it would go something like this:

 

"I blocked you because i cant do it anymore. i cant be just a friend to you. i cant stand to know you're happy with him and not me. what's the point in talking to you if all i want is to have you back.

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Don't stress about what to say or not say. Truth is it doesn't much matter except to how you walk away feeling about it.

 

She is already with someone else and keeping your position ambiguous won't change that.

 

You need to say it to her though so you can hear yourself say it. "I blocked you because I'm moving on" or something to that effect. That is the truth of why you are doing it, isn't it? It's not so you can whiteknuckle not contact her and wallow in futile hopes of some reconciliation far off in some distance, right, even though she's with another dude?

 

Get straight with yourself and this with her will be sorted in a matter of minutes.

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I was joking. Seriously...ask yourself..why do you want to be this girls "backup plan"???

She's dating another guy and seems happy. Unblocking her isn;t going to change that.

You don't have to be mean, just be honest with her. As another poster said, putting HER first is detrimental to your healing. This girl has to change her mind on her own, not because she feels guilty for hurting you.

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if i told her the truth, it would go something like this:

 

"I blocked you because i cant do it anymore. i cant be just a friend to you. i cant stand to know you're happy with him and not me. what's the point in talking to you if all i want is to have you back.

 

I think revealing your deepest emotions to someone who is seeing someone else is a mistake.

 

Stand strong, tell her you're moving on cos thats all she needs to know. It makes her realize what's slipping through her fingers...which is what you want.

 

She forfeited any right to know anything about your inner feelings the minute she dumped you.

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It's just my opinion, but I think if you add "it'll only make it worse" then instead of closing it you open yourself for an impact for her reaction or none reaction to that.

 

The idea to get to a place where you accept that she isn't in your life that way anymore.

 

If you give her your vulnerable feelings on a platter, you are bound to be disappointed.

 

But we all have to learn for ourselves. good luck.

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what am i going to do.... I guess tell her "i'm moving on"

 

not sure if i should add a "talking to you is only making it worse" in there though..

 

I just feel like by saying that i'll be burning the bridge completely..

 

No no no! I like jettison's and amipushy's response better. You don't need to expose your true feelings to her. Keep it short and sweet, but with your dignity intact. If you don't want to "burn the bridge completely" then go with what amipushy said, that you're moving on.

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Easier said then done, but ignoring her for a bit is probably the best. For you, whether you realise it or not ... the fact she is with someone else should be a sign to you that you're never going to get back what you had.

 

But getting rid of hope of reclaimation isnt that easy ... and if you want to be polite, leave it a couple of days ... then just let her know, that right now you think some space is the best for both of you. Nothing more, nothing less ... it ownt make you more attractive if shes sees how much you're hurting, quite the opposite. Be very nonchalant about it. Keep your dignity. You're going to have live with that a lot longer then her.

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I'm starting to realize the older i get that i seem to lack the ability to make decisions on my own. I always need to get peoples opinions..

 

now i'm stuck on whether or not to say "i'm moving on"

 

or

 

"i think some space is the best for both of us"

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so you seriously would take this chick back AFTER she has been messing around with another dude? why?? that doesn't even make sense. don't respond...move on with ur life. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU. SHE WANTS THE OTHER GUY TO BE HER MAN. pick up your manliness and don't respond...that will show her what the deal is.

 

or

 

you could confess ur feelings for her, while she ignores them. MAYBE she will come back to u after her and her guy break it off, but then she will break up with u whenever she finds someone better. women hate being alone.

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