PLayer or sympathetic?

[Dexzylynnette]

This is probably a very ridiculous question.

So here's the situation, about 10 guys are openly flirting and exclusive to me.

I have not blunt out told ANY of them that I like them, but The find a way to assume that I do. Well, I every time I talk to one of them, or ever multiple at a time, they get flirty and I feel bad if I don't embrace it/ be nice to them. I don't outwardly flirt, I just say things like "thanks" and"Awe, that's cute". Well, when they try to kiss me I can't seem to deny them, so I kiss them so I don't hurt their feelings. This week alone I have kissed four boys..and only like one of them. So my question is..Am I a player, or am I just a sympathetic girl trying to make everyone happy?

I should probably know what I am, I know, but I feel like maybe I am just tricking myself into thinking that I kiss them, and I'm nice to them because I might like the attention too much, or I might be too chill about it all together.

Please give your input.

I thought that upon turning 18 last year I would get less attention from guys in my high school, since I can't really do anything with a lot of them.

I was so so very wrong.

Also, what are good ways to make people NOT like me, or even to get less attention. The problem is, is that my friends that don't have a large social life actually make fun of me for being so popular.

[FloatingAnchor]

You're not gonna like this, and it's just my opinion, but you're a player. No one would be so sympathetic as to do something they don't like, so I assume you must like kissing multiple guys, even if you only "like" one of them. As you've said, maybe you just like the attention. Are you interested in a relationship with the one guy you do like? Just tell everyone else that you were confused, tell them you don't see anything developing further, and apologize for having given them the wrong impression. Then see what the other guy says (the one you like) when he finds out about all the others (it's high school, word gets around fast).

[girl68]

You are neither a player nor "sympathetic" you are selfish.

 

What are some good ways to stop this? Stop kissing 4 boys in one week! After you've done that stop leading them on! No matter how "non-flirtatious" you think you are you're obviously wrong. How else can you exaplin 10 guys craving you?

 

Give it up, keep the one you like rid of the rest. And you better make it quick you think the guy you actaully like is stupid and is going to be cool with you kissing 3 other boys besides himself? I doubt it.

[JustBeachy]

I think I'm going to bite my tongue on this one...

[laisla]

yep, you're a player.

[COtuner]

Player, and giving the appearance of being potentially a pushover in relationships if you can't resist giving in to these nice boys.

[girl68]

I think I'm going to bite my tongue on this one...

 

LOL! Good one.

[girl68]

Let's saying it wasn't just kissing being a "player" would be the least of your worries. You can't say "no" right? Well what if these guys want more than kissing... you going to please all of them?

[amipushy]

You can't say "no" right?

 

I agree. You're not a player, players usually users and have a motive. You just think that if you say no people won't like you anymore.

[velvette]

actually I can relate. but you do have to say NO. I eventually realized what I was doing was wrong. I never 'kissed around', but I went out for dinner with guys who told me they liked me. I told them I had a boyfriend and wasn't interested so I thought I was A-OK, but really I was inadvertently hurting everyone's feelings (my boyfriend knew about it but didn't like it)! the ego boost is nice, sure, can't deny that, but it's not worth it to hurt everyone's hearts.

 

don't lead people on, however unintentional. it gets ugly.

[Dexzylynnette]

I'm not saying that I am purposely doing it for attention guys, I am wondering if I could be pathologically craving attention...

And I can say no to stuff, but I am a very lovey dovey person and I kiss my friends, all the kisses have been a friendly on my part and I have told them this.

I have actually told all of them I am not interested, Ive even tried pushing them away by not talking to them for a few days but they always come back. I always tell them that I dont want a relationship with them, and I am not interested in flirting and I don't flirt with them to me kissing is a friendly gesture on my part.

And people mostly know that.

[velvette]

but if kissing is more than friendly for them, then stop with the kisses. for me the dinners were always platonic, I eat out with anyone no biggie, but to them it was a possibility of something more so I had to end it.

 

I don't do it purposely for attention, I don't doubt you either, but you have to think from their shoes. what if the guy you liked said he wasn't interested in a relationship, but kept kissing you whenever you wanted? or, more extreme, had sex with you? maybe to him sex is a friendly gesture, but if it's more than that for you (well, I'm just guessing here) then you'll be lead on. even if he says it's 'only friendly'. people in love tend to be blinded by high hope. they're emotional, seldom logical.

[Dexzylynnette]

Yeah I see what you are saying.

I tend to have a personality that says one thing while my words and thoughts say another, in every aspect of life.

I have been working on changing it, but I find myself to be too in the moment nice, but by doing that I am being a * * * * * in the long run...

I hate that about myself.