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How can I get out of this rut?


Raistlin

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I know a lot of my posts lately have been "poor me", but I hope this one turns out differently.

 

In 4 days, it will be exactly 1 year since my ex and I broke up. I've come a long, long way from where I was last year, but I'm still not where I want to be. I feel very stuck, and have for months, and I just don't know what I can do to improve my situation.

 

I will admit to being highly jealous of all of my friends. Everyone I know is at least dating someone. I'm going to my best friends wedding 2 weeks from tomorrow, and I'll be the best man. That's exciting and I'm happy for him, but what's looming over me is that the very next day is my exes b-day.

 

I've been looking for a job for 4 months now, and I'm still unemployed. I send out lots of apps every week, and I've still heard nothing back. It's a downer, and I feel myself falling into a greater state of depression as time goes on.

 

I've had a few dates (somewhere in the range of 15 dates with about 5 different girls, plus a short fling) since last year, as I chose not to date until October - 6 months after the break up. Nothing worked out, and I'm just as lonely now as I was then.

 

Basically, I'm feeling very stuck. I'm very down on myself lately, and I am definitely stuck in a rut. Does anyone have any advice beyond the obvious (get a job, meet new people) as to how to raise my spirits until things fall back into place?

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I think one thing that is helpful is to realize that you have actually advanced in some manner in the last year. Maybe you feel stuck because you aren't moving forward as rapidly as you thought you would? But the fact is that you HAVE moved forward, you are NOT stuck at all. Your life is going in the right direction - keep focusing on making yourself a better person and to hell with everybody else. It's time to look out for number one and not worry about what the next guy is doing. If you're down on yourself because you're not in a relationship right now, remember that there are folks out there who have never been in a relationship. Somebody always has it worse than you. Focus on you, and disregard everybody else.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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