Friends after Breakup?

[Stereohead]

Is it even possible to take an intimate relationship and turn it into a friendship? Or would the dumpee have to first put aside their feelings for their ex. Reason I'm asking...Is because my now ex wants to be friends...but he isn't completely closing off us ever getting back together...but nor dose he want to lead me on. Idk. I love him and would like to have him in my life... but really don't know if it's possible to just be friends.

[newbegining]

There is always a possibility for a friendship at some point but not now. You should step away and take some time to heal and then once you feel stronger see how you feel about a friendship. My ex also wants us to be friends (we split in Jan 09)....I've tried it but just can't do it now. It's too confusing and the adjustment from being a couple to just friends is not easy. The final nail came this week when she told me she's now seeing someone. I've read numerous times on here that if you can't be ok with hearing about your exe's new gf/bf then you're not ready for friendship. I'm back to doing NC and hoping that I heal

[tiff99]

It depends on how close of friends and how much time passes.

for me i need some after to pass. my bf just let me, its going to be a bit before i can really talk to him.

 

funny how this works

[Stereohead]

I would do No Contact with him if it wasn’t for the fact I can tell how confused he is. He went away to San Antonio during spring break…so I don’t get to see him often at all. He’s a full time student and has a full time job. I care for him a lot and he’s knows it… just when the week that we didn’t see each other he realized he didn’t miss me…didn’t have those feelings he had and didn’t feel like we clicked. Like the spark had disappeared… so he broke up with me. And seems very certain to be friends. It keeps getting repeated. He kissed me on the check when I left the car..and then I asked for one last actual kiss…and he didn’t hesitate to say no…

 

I was crying…basically now that he broke up with me I’m a burden and what I do is wrong… so it’s awkward. I want to finish our conversation…but he’s stressed… I feel like just tossing my phone aside and deal with my depression and lack of work. –can’t find a decent job I can handle and get to.

 

The funny thing is. He switched from saying just friends…to maybe something more later…that we rushed into things too quickly and he wants to get to know me. It’s confusing. And no. I couldn’t handle knowing he was with someone else. I’d stop talking to him if I found out he was…

[HouseKitten]

My ex and I are friends and we've both dated other people since we broke up. It's been really hard at times but every time we had trouble and difficult conversations about what 'us' had become, we both said numerous times that we didn't want to stop seeing the other person.

 

Don't do it if you can't handle it. I see my ex and he sees me because it hurts a lot more to NOT see each other, but thats just us. Trying to be friends with your ex when you still love him and are hoping, especially because of what he's said, that you might get back together will just end with you in tears when he starts seeing someone new.

 

It's possible you will end up together again, who knows, but the chances are he's saying that because although he doesn't want to be with you, he doesn't want to completely lose the option of you in case he changes his mind in a few months time. It's not nice but people are like that.

[Breekan]

Best thing to do, ironically might be the hardest, is to break off contact in my opinion. At least for a while, let him start doing the talking when he's ready but never get your hopes up. Like the poster above stated, that could only lead to an even more broken heart should he ever start seeing someone else.

 

He sounds like a pretty busy person and might need the time anyways. Were yall dating for a while? Usually long-term relationships that end like this can be really hard on a spirit.