can we friends after a brief relationship ??

[Mrc72]

Hello all,

 

I will keep this simple, i had a brief relationship with a woman for 3 months , we are both in our 30's, unfortunately something went wrong in our relationship, the spark /buzz that started to develop seemed to fizzle out while we were on holiday, not sure why, maybe it didnt help that i was nervous about going on holiday so soon into the relationship and this in some way changed the dynamics of us, who knows, a week or so after coming home it still felt the same she was distant (because of the lack of spark and she was wanting it to happpen) and I was feelin on edge not knowning what was going on so we were not relaxed with each other, free flowing, we chatted and both decided it was best to end our relationship rather than let it go on (ocassionaly a break can do wonders) and we both said it was a shame as we get on well, enjoyed our company and have same interests, maybe on a relationship level we were not meant to be.

 

It was the right thing to do and what i have got out of it is someone who i would like to develope a friendship with over time (we did talk about this and she said was ok for being friends as neither of us had done anything wrong), but i am also aware that people can say this and not mean it. Anyway i would like to get in touch with her and say hi and not sure the which would come accross the best way, either keep it simple and simply drop her a line, how you doing etc and depending on reply i would see if she is interested to catching up over a drink or enjoy other interests we shared, or start off the initial contact something along the lines of

 

I wasn’t sure about sending this and quite frankly this is something i rarely do. I am fully aware people do say they would like to keep in touch to just be polite, However, I would like you to know that sometimes you luck out and meet a great person (you) who you share same interests and get on well with, it just doesn't work out relationship-wise and i agree that the for last few weeks something wasnt working, just because we weren't good together, we can be good as friends and I would like to stay in touch, with no expectations and an open mind and see where it takes us.

[Cuppedia]

I think that if you were so mature about the break up and had already discussed being friends there's probably no need to explain why you are contacting her.

 

Just ask how she's doing and maybe add something like "If it's okay with you I would really like to meet you and be your friend, let me know what you think".

 

Also, make sure you know when would be a good moment to contact her, it's better to wait if not a lot of time has passed since the break-up.

[Mrc72]

thanks for your comments, yes you are probably right i can keep it brief rather than going into detail, i guess thats just my style and of course cant do it too soon as could be seen to be sent for the wrong reasons.

 

Well i have nothing to lose and its the way it goes sometimes , you get to know someone, but the spark is not there, however you a friendship level it can work especially if those deep feelings hadn't developed and in our case they hadn't.