Can you marry your first boyfriend?

[alice1485]

Been with my bf for more than a year.

 

Love him to death.

 

While I don't plan on getting married anytime soon, I often think about marrying him - though he's my first EVERYTHING.

 

Is it irresponsible to marry your first bf?

[jengh]

No, it's not irresponsible at all. Of course you can. If you feel you've met the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, I think that's fabulous. I hate dating.

[yellowcal]

Irresponsible? No infact it is far from irresponsible however what you will get or hear alot is that when you go into marrying your first everything it's possible that later on you start to wonder what else is out there or you feel that you didn't get a chance to "live" or "Experience" other things. Isn't always the case but it is something that needs to be considered. Besides first time love is always the "best" (or so we always think).

 

 

I am with my first true love and will be getting married eventually (Had a wedding planned but things changed..) but we had our ups and downs and have dated other people between the first time we dated and now.

[Cognitive_Canine]

How old are you?

[alice1485]

I'm 22. Sometimes I fear that if I marry him I might think "Oh, I missed out on dating other people." But at the same time, the thought of dating other people is exhausting to me. I often feel bad for people who have to sit through a million first dates with people they don't really care for.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm 22. Sometimes I fear that if I marry him I might think "Oh, I missed out on dating other people." But at the same time, the thought of dating other people is exhausting to me. I often feel bad for people who have to sit through a million first dates with people they don't really care for.

 

In a lot of ways...my boyfriend is kind of my REAL first boyfriend since I think I was too young to really know what a relationship entailed in high school. None of them came close to being as deep as what we have. I just wasn't fully grown up then (and I'm still growing) so most of those relationships weren't really actual relationships.

 

If you have a good thing, stick with it. I don't think you have to go out and look at what else is out their to understand whether or not what you have is good.

[thejigsup]

I didn't marry my first, thank God! But that doesn't mean it can't work for you! You're 22, not 16. I believe you are old enough to know what you want in a lifelong mate.

[velvette]

feel lucky, not irresponsible! as long as you both don't feel gipped, then it's all good. I've given my bf (we are both each others' firsts) the option of going out to sleep around, check out what's there, and then come find me later (if he still wants to!), but he can't be bothered. it's really up to how you both feel about things!

 

If you have a good thing, stick with it. I don't think you have to go out and look at what else is out their to understand whether or not what you have is good.

^truth!

 

even though I've only ever dated him, and him me, I believe our relationship more mature than a lot of the 'serial daters' (ie my cousin, who claims to have slept with 30+ women. wow I'm not impressed?).

[Mavh25]

I'm 22. Sometimes I fear that if I marry him I might think "Oh, I missed out on dating other people." But at the same time, the thought of dating other people is exhausting to me. I often feel bad for people who have to sit through a million first dates with people they don't really care for.

 

I married my first and only boyfriend, and I'm 22 right now.

 

I have been with him 5 years, so long as you don't rush, give yourself time, because things could change for you in the near future.

 

Its not irresponsible, if you feel you want to be with someone forever, you can be.

[velvette]

oh, and I believe the first serious relationship is the best, because you can allow yourself to be deluded by fantasies of forever and soulmates and true-love etc. I know if I broke up with mine, I'd never look at love the same way again. not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely different. first relationships have a touch of naivete and giving it your all.

[_Asti_]

I plan on marrying my first boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years, and there's nothing irresponsible in my eyes.

I didn't date around prior because I wasn't going to settle...and when he came around he was everything I wanted, and for me..I don't need to experience other people, be in other relationships to know what I and we have. I don't wonder what else is out there because I am 150% sure it doesn't get any better than what we have.

 

But, if you find yourself wondering, thinking and getting curious of what else is out there, then you may want to take a step back and think about the situation.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Doesn't matter if it's your first, 2nd, 3rd, whatever. If he's the right one for you and vice versa and you guys have all of your ducks in a row mentally, emotionally, finanially, etc, then it's all good.

[sbux_addict]

Don't stick with him just because he is your first everything and you think that dating other people is exhausting.

 

Marry him because he is everything you every ask for.

[RoxyGril]

Don't stick with him just because he is your first everything and you think that dating other people is exhausting.

 

Marry him because he is everything you every ask for.

 

I would have to agree with this. But, I have been with my 1st bf for 2 yrs now and I actually can see myself marrying him. Of course not in any rush. But, I don't think it's irresponsible to think that. Some people marry their high school sweet hearts and end up being marrying.

[dragon lady]

I think a lot of people feel that way about their first boyfriend. I know I did. I thought he was absolutely wonderful and that I was so in love. Turns out I was dead wrong. We were together 3 years. Personally, I think it's better to date around before you settle down. That way you can be sure of what you really want and what you don't want.

 

I'm not trying to turn you off here, but this has been my experience with most people my age too.

[Ms Darcy]

You can, and people do, but know that the divorce rate is much higher for people who marry young (in their early 20s).

 

As others, I would advise you to date for a few years (at least three or four) so that you can grow together and increase your liklihood to last through the many trials life may offer.

 

Having a little dating experience with others isn't a bad idea though. Honestly, you have a lot of life ahead of you. Best of luck.

[anggrace]

Im sure it can work for some people and I don't think it's irresponsible, I just can't relate. I didn't know what I needed in a partner at that point in my life. I thought I did, but I had a lot more to learn before I could be a good wife.

[jenny_mcs]

Absolutely you can! My parents met in the 10th grade, it's so cute, my mom has their prom picture framed and hanging up with all our family photos. I love it

[JustBeachy]

My mom and dad were each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend. They met when she was 13 and he was 15. They've been married for almost 40 years now!

[ratfreak]

I don't think it's bad to marry your first boyfriend/love.

If you are happy together, then go for it.

 

HOWEVER you should never make someone your EVERYTHING.

Things happen and if you make someone your everything and they leave, you'll have nothing.

 

I was with my 1st bf for a few years and I knew I didn't love him or want to marry him so...

With the last one though... I'd give anything to get us back but sadly, it won't happen.

[velvette]

I think a lot of people feel that way about their first boyfriend. I know I did. I thought he was absolutely wonderful and that I was so in love. Turns out I was dead wrong. We were together 3 years. Personally, I think it's better to date around before you settle down. That way you can be sure of what you really want and what you don't want.

 

I'm not trying to turn you off here, but this has been my experience with most people my age too.

 

expand please? what happened to cause the break up? ):

I have heard that it's optimal to date around 8 times for the best match, or something like that. but I don't subscribe to that theory! ...yet anyway!

[ratfreak]

I think you should date until you find THE person that rocks your world.

Assigning a number won't make a diffrence I don't think.

 

I know people who married their second and I know people in their 40's who dated many people are still on their own and not quite happy.

 

Better to be on your own than in a crummy relationship/marriage with someone you don't care about - which is MUCH lonlier.

[dragon lady]

expand please? what happened to cause the break up? ):

I have heard that it's optimal to date around 8 times for the best match, or something like that. but I don't subscribe to that theory! ...yet anyway!

 

I was just unable to see his character flaws during our relationship. It wasn't until we broke up that I thought "hey, he was actually not a very good person." I really wanted it to be my first and only relationship. I had marriage and honeymoon fantasies. We used to talk about growing old together. Eventually, the fighting continued to escalate and we decided on a mutual breakup (more him than me).

 

Like I was saying, I think a lot of people have these thoughts and feelings during their first serious relationship. It's totally normal. I just think that if I had stayed with him, I would have been a very different person today and not in a good way. I think that experiencing a breakup or two helps make you a stronger person. Once you heal, you become more prepared for future life problems. I can't imagine marrying my first boyfriend and then getting divorced 5 years later. I'd be truly devastated. Much more so than if I'd experienced a break up before.

 

Now, I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't marry your boyfriend. That's totally up to you. I'm just trying to give you a little taste of most peoples' reality.

[girl68]

Im sure it can work for some people and I don't think it's irresponsible, I just can't relate. I didn't know what I needed in a partner at that point in my life. I thought I did, but I had a lot more to learn before I could be a good wife.

 

I see a lot of truth in this. I did end up with the "grass is greener on the other side syndrome". It can only work if both parties feel the same way. If you think you're missing something, you very well could be.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I see a lot of truth in this. I did end up with the "grass is greener on the other side syndrome". It can only work if both parties feel the same way. If you think you're missing something, you very well could be.

 

I had the grass is always greener until I broke up with my boyfriend, saw some new people, and then got back together with him. I haven't had it since.