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Besides talking about general conversational topics,


sarsapolis6
7 Essential INFJ Male Relationship ...
7 Essential INFJ Male Relationship Needs (Narrated by an INFJ Male)

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anything from current events to book titles...

 

what should a man mention or share about himself to a woman (stories, facts, & opinions) so that he will eventually gain a sense of trust?

 

I now understand that the women I've talked to and gotten to know and who have also gotten to know me (maybe not enough?) still don't trust me.

 

I feel that perhaps I should talk to these women more frequently, but I'm wondering if that's really the answer. (additionally, it's a challenge to think of some topic every day)

 

So I feel that I may need to add more personal information without getting too personal...but I don't know what.

Here's an example:

At work I told some lady about a date I went on. She was very interested when I shared this personal information, but then again she's my co-worker and she's interested in stuff like this. It might be inappropriate for another woman.

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Hi Sarsapolis, I'm a fellow Washintonian! Eastern side. Snowed last night. So sick of it!!! Anyways, to your question. I am a bit confused about how, where you are speaking to these women. Is it an online thing, by phone, in person? In my dating experience (am 30 so have had a lot!) usually when I first meet someone we will break the ice with some generic, non threatening conversation about books, movies, music just to see if we share some common interests, humor, etc. If things are going well and you feel that you are "clicking" then maybe throw in some more personal things about where you grew up, your education, activities you enjoy or trips you have been on. It should be a two sided conversation, the woman should be adding in her 2 cents and if she's not then maybe she's not the one or she has the intelligence of Paris Hilton. It is rare to find someone I connect with, maybe 1 out of every 10 people. If you connect you will know and conversation will just naturally flow. They always say the topics to avoid on the first couple of dates are religion, politics, sexual history and money (how much you have or don't have). These are all hot button issues. Besides that I think it's pretty much free reign. Hope that helps, feel free to ask me other questions if you have them.

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In addition to what Fiona77 said, talk about travel. The topic can reveal a lot about yourself (i.e. someone going to Cancun to party vs someone backpacking Peru to learn the culture) but not be too personal.

 

Other than that, I really have no idea how women aren't trusting you. Further...how did you develop this thought? Or did a woman tell you this?

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Tell her stories that show her you human side(as in stories that evoke some kind of emotion like something that made you sad when you were a kid, why you value honesty, at time when you were happiest in your etc.)

 

The whole point is talking about deep topics so you can get a better idea about her personality and vice versa.

 

1. Relationships

2. Sex

3. Where you would like to go more than anywhere in the world

4.If you had a lot of money and didn't have to work what would you be doing

5. What are your life goals

6.What do you value

7. Opinion about marriage or kids

 

I find that it's best to ask hypothetical questions.

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