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Sexual references...how to react?


bebeblondie

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If you're talking to some guy who you've seen a couple of times (never slept with him) and he once or twice has made some subtle sexual references (i.e. me saying something about me dancing, and him responding "that's a nice image to go to bed to") would this be a red flag, or is this normal for a guy to say? Just for the record we have known each other for a while.

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If you're talking to some guy who you've seen a couple of times (never slept with him) and he once or twice has made some subtle sexual references (i.e. me saying something about me dancing, and him responding "that's a nice image to go to bed to") would this be a red flag, or is this normal for a guy to say? Just for the record we have known each other for a while.

 

Why would that be a red flag??..He likes you, finds you attractive, thinks your a good dancer and is letting you know..

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How do you feel about the comment? Were you flattered or turned off by it? Are you two just friends or are you a couple in the making? It sounds like hes interested in you to some extent. He just might not know how to approach you openly with his true feelings. I wouldn't necessarily say it's a red flag...do you know about how long you two have known each other (months, weeks) ?

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But, it doesn't necessarily mean that you want to get with them, does it?

 

You probably do it with all your girl friends and it's just having fun. Doesn't really mean you think of them that way, I take it.

 

naw, not at all. i do it with new girls too, but i make sure they know it's a joke. unless they crack them back, then it's on and i get more serious. lol

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I wouldn't consider this as a red flag. He is just being honest and sometimes that's just how some guys act. I have some guy friends that would say some things that are out of line, I don't think too much of it, because they're just being open and honest. If he tried to touch you in any way, I would consider this as a red flag. Otherwise, don't worry so much about it.

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I wouldn't consider this as a red flag. He is just being honest and sometimes that's just how some guys act. I have some guy friends that would say some things that are out of line, I don't think too much of it, because they're just being open and honest. If he tried to touch you in any way, I would consider this as a red flag. Otherwise, don't worry so much about it.

 

Yea this is what I thought....although it was definitely a sexual reference because I told him to "get his mind out of the gutter" in a joking way, and he responded "sorry, can't help myself".

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Yea this is what I thought....although it was definitely a sexual reference because I told him to "get his mind out of the gutter" in a joking way, and he responded "sorry, can't help myself".

 

Wow. I'd examine your issues with sex. I think if anything HE should consider your response a huge red flag.

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Wow. I'd examine your issues with sex. I think if anything HE should consider your response a huge red flag.

 

 

I don't think I have issues with sex...I'm just one of those girls who likes to really get to know somebody before I jump into bed with them, I guess there is just not many of us left out there

 

As for my response as I stated before, I said it in a joking manner, so if he considers a joke a red flag...then yea we probably shouldn't be talking since I like a guy who has a sense of humor.

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I don't think I have issues with sex...I'm just one of those girls who likes to really get to know somebody before I jump into bed with them, I guess there is just not many of us left out there

 

As for my response as I stated before, I said it in a joking manner, so if he considers a joke a red flag...then yea we probably shouldn't be talking since I like a guy who has a sense of humor.

 

There's nothing wrong with waiting to know someone before jumping into bed, but smacking him down for making a flirtatious comment comes off as super prudish. It's ok to FLIRT. Doesn't mean you're taking him to bed. And you can tell him you dont want to go there (verbally) and set some boundaries, without (potentially) turning him off.

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I did not like a man I was newly dating, or just met, making sexual references about me -- it depended on what was said and the context but I wanted to be treated with respect and like a lady. It's very subjective - what is innocent flirtation to one is crossing the line to another.

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I did not like a man I was newly dating, or just met, making sexual references about me -- it depended on what was said and the context but I wanted to be treated with respect and like a lady. It's very subjective - what is innocent flirtation to one is crossing the line to another.

 

well of course. there are extremes in this.

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