Ex added me to his Facebook - should I accept?

[Traveler27]

We were together for 5 1/2 years, so this was a long and serious relationship. I initiated the breakup, and it's been almost a year since the breakup. I just find it odd that he wants to add me to his facebook. I also find it a bit uncomfortable. I am not one of those types of people who can be friends after a serious relationship has ended - I think it's just awkward, and you never know if the other person is hoping the friendship may turn back into a relationship. By the way, we now live 3,000 miles apart on opposite sides of the country, so there is no chance of running into one another and whatnot.

 

I suppose what I'm asking is if people think it's normal to add your ex's to facebook? And if you were with someone in a long-term relationship, would you accept their request to be a "friend" on facebook. Something about this just doesn't feel right.

[Scorpion Fury]

You're not obligated to do anything. If you don't want to add him, don't.

[BrunetteBarbie]

Maybe he just wants to see how things are going for you, how you are, whats new, etc.

I know sometimes ppl get so curious about their ex, they want to see their profile and their pics and see whats up... doesnt have to be anything serious, or that they want to be with you again, or have a friendship... you know, being "friends" on Facebook does not mean hes looking to be in regulary contact with u again. Soo, dont assume too much about it, but if you dont want to accept him, and that he see whats going on in your life, then dont accept the request.Im sure he will understand if you dont.

[arwen]

I wouldn't do it if it doesn't feel right. Both of you will be inclined to check each other's relationship status and photos, and it may just bring back feelings that you don't want to have.

 

Last month, I was taken by surprise when an ex of mine (ended things on good terms) added me to skype. I regret that I accepted it. His status is formulated as a reply to mine, but he hasn't said anything to me at all. I am engaged and happy and this is just awkward. I am contemplating deleting him, but that would also be awkward. Conclusion: if I could deny his request now, I would.

[Vince99]

I wouldn't.

[CandyKins]

Hehe, I see.

 

I think of it as a kind gesture. Same thing happened to me. I accepted his request, but I did find it awkward and yes, I was uncomfortable but felt it was kind what he did. My heart felt lighter, lol. But then as time went by... I couldn't really stand it because when you come on facebook you naturally see what the other person does, its activity and well I just didn't like that. I felt it too painful to bare... because my feeling were still raw.

 

So I removed him (he doesn't know because it doesn't allow him to know) because I knew it weren't helping to to recover, like get over him. I removed him for the best.

 

But yeah, I don't think you should accept it, because seeing him and all it can be painful and unbareable at some point.

 

It's best to cut clean away from him..

[angellight]

Personally, I dont have one ex that I would deny a friendship with, good relationships are built on friendship so I don't see what the big deal is..I wouldnt think twice about it...But thats just me and thats the way I am...If an ex called to say hello I would talk to them also...

 

Of course, I am completely OVER ALL of my exes, so there are no hard feelings..

[purpleJ]

its different from person to person and relationships

 

I have an ex on facebook but only because i am so over it and i did the break up and we were both very young

when my serious relationship ended i deleted that ex only because you find yourself checkin their relationship status/photos/walls...and no good can come out of it..even if you dont chances are he will..or for me i just wouldnt want him around cause i dont wanna get tempted to start anything

[ghost69]

i would accept it then block him. haha

[WomanWriter]

I would accept it. It's only a FB request and you don't have to check his profile. I think it's just kind to someone who was in your life for so long.

 

I had my ex (before my last ex) on my Myspace page. He requested me after we had broken up. Now he's not on it for other reasons but I saw no reason why I couldn't accept him. If my very first boyfriend from high school (not that serious) decided to "friend" me, I'd go for it. I really see no point in holding hard feelings for someone. In fact, how can you really move past them if you are that upset about seeing their profile? To be honest, I was able to move on better in my relationships (before this last one) by staying in light contact. Eventually, they faded. I just see no point in holding the past against someone.

 

Actually, there were some friends I had a fallling out with back in elementary school...but I requested them on FB and now we're all friends again. As time goes on, I think it's good to focus on the good times of the past and forget the bad. Just remember someone was in your life and forgive. That's me though. If you think it's wrong, don't accept. Personally, I'd regret it.

[GoodGolly]

I wouldn't. Every year at least one ex tries to befriend me in some manner but deep down I know they would not be there for me if I needed them, if I felt lonely, or needed a friend/advice/a ride to the airport. If they really wanted to talk, they should have kept your number. Text messages do not count. But hell, if your life is super fabulous, why not rub it in his face.