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just wondering about this friendzoned thing


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How do you know if you are friendzoned? Tell me what kind of things are indicators? Thanks!


And if ex remains in touch with you, does it automatically mean that you are friendzoned?


Can you be friendzoned even if they are still calling you pet names and doing cute couple things like kissing, nose kissing, spanking, etc, with you?


thanks...just wondering that's all

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Hmm okay the situation as of now is I am in NC.


Just thinking about what I had been doing last two months. Yes we did have sex, but after he knew it has emotional impact on me he just cuddled me and for the last month we had been only holding and and fell asleep together...all the pet name, spanking and kissing were there still though.


So if you are friendzoned that means they treat you strictly as a friend?? So I was not friendzoned then?

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Depends on his definition of friend. That's a bit extreme and kind of mean to you if he is intending to go date other people now.


Is he like that with other girls he knows? When I think of friendzoning, I think of a range between just being a buddy you hang out with to do things and talk to... all the way to the other side of things of being FWB (which I wouldn't agree with, but it's normal for some folks to do that). But it's always clear that there is no romantic interest.

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To me someone who wants to "friendzone" will discourage the type of behavior you

described, not encourage it. The WORST type of friendzoning though is the "friend"

who encourages flirty behavior but then retracts it when you take it seriously. To me

that's just nasty, and not much of a "friend".

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friendzone and fwb are equally unsatisfying anyways. None of that would lead to reconciliation.


Do you guys believe that clean break will increase the chance of reconciliation, if there is any chance at all?


It sounds like you're being used. He's with you because he can't find anyone else? I'd slap his face


Personal opinion based on what you've written..... I think NC and staying away is the best move. He doesn't sound like someone ready for a relationship, and seems immature.

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Hey COtuner,


I wonder why you said that....


okay I might sound like I am defending him here...but all those charade happened after he broke up with me..and he broke up because I was bad to him.


(Bad...oh how I hate having to back this up with evidence...we fought so much that his grade dropped one semester and he went into depression, over the years we were together he paid rent and everything, I also maxed out his credit card to buy luxury goods ..6k, I was controlling and literally wanted all his time, I crowded out his space and was in his face all the time. During college years I literally just lived in his room and so it was all crammed up and I was messy--so he had no physical space and no headspace and he had to struggle to find peace and time to himself as I was bugging him all the time, I totally ran him out of money to the point he went from having enough money to live comfortably and do what he wanted to having to worry about money all the time)


He put up with me for 3.5 years..with total commitment. No cheating. Was very supportive and I felt that I did so well in school and grew up so much. He also helped me overcome my fear of getting into a tough industry (fashion editorial) and encouraged me to follow my dream and believe in myself.


I know..we were both immature. But why are you saying he is not ready for a relationship? I feel like he already learned not to let anyone do what I did to him again.....And ...yes he is not ready to be in a relationship with me...but you sound like you believe he is not ready to be in a relationship with anybody? He already thought about starting another official relationship with someone he just got close to a few months ago. (She was a friend..really a friend but he just got close to her very recently...they definitely got closer after he broke up with me. She was studying abroad and came back like 2 months after the break up--and she came back after her program ended, not because of my ex at all.) And this is his style...He does not leave things in the gray area and label it as friends first. When he likes someone, he asks them out and makes her an official girlfriend right away if he has feelings/crush that is strong enough then goes from there even before he knows them very well...


Just want to hear more about your opinion. Please keep it coming.

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He doesn't sound like someone ready for a relationship, and seems immature.


Just making my question clear, why do you think so? You sound like you think he is just not ready for a relationship in general....


Some of my friends apparently think that way about him too...maybe I have some rose tinted glasses on...but...just look how committed and loving he was to me when we were together! I mean....I knew he would always be there for me and I was never afraid of being left alone/behind on weekends and stuff. He never flaked out just because GIG, not sure about his feelings, commitment phobia, or anything. He did not disappear or flake out on me occasionally--did not do any on and off thing with me at all.....it was 3.5 years of total commitment and he had been there for me absolutely EVERY SINGLE DAY.



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