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feeling frustrated over stupid things


tom1607307597
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?

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I tend to be the type of person who rarely ever gets angry and is chill most of the time. Tonight though something got to me and for some messed up reason I ended up throwing my bike around; ironically now I can't ride it and have to get it fixed. Anyway, I just don't get what happened to set me off. Today nothing really special happened, just the typical day to day stuff. What I do remember is walking by the library and running into a girl I knew back from high school. She acted like she didn't even see me and that just made me blow up inside. I feel like I was at fault too for not saying hi, but this thing where girls I've talked to or sit next to ignoring me has been biting away at me for the last week or two. I just can't stand it anymore. It's like I have some emotional issue with people ignoring me.

 

Since then I'm settled down, but thinking about why stuff like this happens is leaving me feeling like a complete jerk. There were people I should have recognized from my other classes I didn't before that I should have been stopping by to talk to. People I should have tried talking to and saying hi to more often, but I didn't. There were also old acquaintances I should have given a chance before duping them into the friend dumpster. It's all because I give into my shyness so much. It's probably made alot of people, especially in my classes, think I have no interest in talking or come accross as arrogant. Right now I feel like this semester could have gone so much better. Is it too late to fix all of this?

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I do this too, I'm fine for days, weeks and months on end and then I just bust emotionally. I either pathetically cry or I go into rage mode and break something beyond repair. Then I'm fine for a long time again till all the "little" things build up and I do it all over again... (frustrating to say the least).

 

Personally I try to be friendly at school (I just started my Spring term) but lately I get this impression that I'm a ghost among people. Honestly, I think that if I don't speak up in class and talk to people I get the impression that I'd go completely unacknowledged.

 

Which is true when it comes to women. I'm just being negative but as far as I'm concerned I don't exist to them (acquaintance or not).

 

I think ~tom~ you could fix it all by being more social and friendly in class and people you run into around campus. But personally, my self esteem is too beat up for me to even want to try anymore.

 

I mean half the time I don't even post my thoughts or opinions on Ena because I quickly deem it "stupid" or "illogical" to the subject being discussed. So I simply just hit *delete*. I'm surprised I'm even posting this...

 

Anyways enough of me blabbering. Just hang in there man because life can always get better....even if the lows suck badly.

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You sound really frustrated; not just with others, but with yourself.

 

High school and early adulthood can be really awkward experiences for many-- if not most-- people.

Keep making the effort to be friendly, and eventually you will see results.

 

The people who are worth your time will respond in kind, and those that don't-- well, they're just not worth worrying about.

 

If you have a hard time just relaxing around others, it might be worthwhile to see if there's a counselor at your school who you could see on a regular basis for a while.

Sometimes just talking-- and practicing talking-- is really helpful.

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OH, and by the way--

It might not seem to fit in with the way that many men think that they are expected to behave, but

both of you guys should really try to work on being in touch with how you feel on a day-to-day basis.

 

It might sound silly, but really, holding all of that tension inside by sweeping stuff under the carpet (repressing), is really unhealthy.

Not only is it why the bad days seem extra bad (because it's like a dam breaking), but also, it could lead you to have hypertension, heart troubles, etc.

 

Remember: Real Men Are Real.

Take care of yourselves.

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OH, and by the way--

It might not seem to fit in with the way that many men think that they are expected to behave, but

both of you guys should really try to work on being in touch with how you feel on a day-to-day basis.

 

It might sound silly, but really, holding all of that tension inside by sweeping stuff under the carpet (repressing), is really unhealthy.

Not only is it why the bad days seem extra bad (because it's like a dam breaking), but also, it could lead you to have hypertension, heart troubles, etc.

 

Remember: Real Men Are Real.

Take care of yourselves.

 

The weird thing is I exercise at least a few times a week, so that usually relieves most of the stress but on rare occasions it doesn't help at all. I'll go running or lift weights and still feel bad afterward.

 

Yesterday I was talking to my dad about it since my parents are some of the few people I can talk to about stuff like this; he said something about me "thinking my way out" and letting it all be over analyzed in my head instead of talking it over w/ someone. I agree with him, sometimes I try thinking out how to fix something wrong in my life and end up bottling it up instead.

 

Thanks for the advice, btw. I'll try not to let people get to me so much.

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