The Rebound theory

[softail]

Hi all this is my first post despite being dumped by my G/F 3 months ago.

 

Short overview.

 

Together for 15 months, both in our late thirties, had what I thought was a fantastic relationship for year or so, she has two girls (5&16) from previous relationships I loved them as my own. Although we lived apart. She called the split just after Xmas no reason given; we didn’t even argue or have a serious row during our time together. In November she was telling me how mush she loved the way we loved each other?

 

I was devastated, although I suspected another guy, which she denied. So after a couple of weeks went into strict NC.

 

Spent the last 3 months working on and improving myself, lost 3 stone in weight now 14.5st from 17.5st, all my friends both male and female think I look fantastic which is how I feel. Just in case there was a chance of getting back together.

 

I bumped into her yesterday she was shocked to see me, looking so good. I asked her out for coffee she said she’d call me. Today she sends me an email telling me she’s sorry for the split but she wasn’t happy, and then goes on to say she is now in a new relationship and blissfully happy with the man of her dreams. Although devastated I am somewhat relieved at least now I know.

 

Funny thing is this time last year I was the man of her dreams and we were talking of marriage.

 

Anyway I replied to her mail telling her how devastated I was at this news and that within 3 months to be blissfully happy seemed a very short time, explaining I still loved and cared for her, and despite my loss happy for her if she was happy. Now back into NC and the gym for me.

 

Now to the point of my thread I’ve read in a few relationship get back books etc that in a rebound relationship which I’m sure this is, the quicker they fall in love ultimately the more likely they are to fail sooner or later. Obviously this could be the real thing however?

 

Any views or experiences.

 

Ps I’m not going to hold, I’m going to move on and continue to improve myself.

 

Thanks for reading

Softail.

[brazilgirl21]

I would love insight on the subject. My ex found a new girlfriend 5 months after we broke-up (almost 36 months together, eachother's first love), and 1 month before he started dating this girl he wrote me an e-mail talking about how much he had been in love with me and still was, but he had to let go and move on... I still didn't want to get back together then. Well, voila, 1 month later he was "in love" with someone else. It hit me hard, I wanted him back, he was with the girl for a while, eventually gave in to my insistence, dumped her, got back with me, 2 months later he "dumped" me and got back with her.

 

In this case, is she still the rebound? Was she the rebound and by meddling between them and not letting the relationship runs its natural course I made her more than a rebound? I have no idea, in all honesty, I don't really understand the nature of rebounds. I believe that rebounds, essencially, can always end up being the "ones". Specially if the "rebound" are REALLY into our exes.

[FriendnorFoe]

I suspected my ex of cheating on several occasions, I think this fueled her decesion to dump me, I really should have adopted the idea "other guys just make me look better", its obvious she wasnt cheating I just became a needy jelous doormat