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I will try to make this quick

 

My BF and I are getting married in a few months and I want him to wait for sex..... the problem is we went out a few years ago and broke up before getting back together.

 

At that time his was my first sex I had fooled around done everything but the full deed before him

 

I kinda wanted to wait after a few times and he respected it. I met a guy at store where I work and ended up sleeping with him and cheating on bf. He got mad when he found out a year after we broke up. He was even more hurt I had sex after only knowing the guy a short time.

 

It was only a on again off again thing but I had sex with the other guy almost everytime I saw him. Though it was only about 10 times over 11 months.

 

Ok heres the problem my BF does not ant to wait because he feels the future husband should be the last person to sleep with the wife.

 

The other guy knows him sort of and is smug about him being the last guy to have me.

 

To make matters worse the wedding got pushed back cause of family. I had to break my promise to move in with him until later.

 

We been back together for 6 months and weddding is 2 months away.

 

Will he get over it after we get married that he was not last before wedding?

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You cheated on him by sleeping with someone else, he was good enough to take you back and now you want to make him wait?

 

What possible justification do you have for putting him through that.

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You cheated on him by sleeping with someone else, he was good enough to take you back and now you want to make him wait?

 

What possible justification do you have for putting him through that.

 

I second that, without being judgmental about your relationship, dont you think your rushing marriage a little fast?

 

You say you were working at a store, and hadnt had sex before that guy, this all leads me to believe your less than 21 years old or close to.

 

Plus it seems like your boyfriend is a "nice guy" and your walking all over him.

 

Why would you want to go into a marriage with a big problem like this already overhanging the relationship... This doesnt bode well for you i dont believe.

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I only sort of cheated we were ending at the time we fought a lot some about sex. I felt uneasy having sex and always wanted to wait. It sort of just happened with the other guy I was not looking to have sex. It was like he was a sex addict that is all the other guy wanted to do and still does. I hear from people he sleeps with tons of women.

 

I love my guy and he is my soul mate and I want oit to be reat this time and I dont want to feel uncomfortabe with sex. I was never comfortable having sex with the other guy either.

 

He is my best friend and has been for years always there for me.

 

I just want to know if he will get over it after we are married. I figure once we are having sex he will be good. I just a little concerned that he will be hurt he was not the last guy before we married. Because I made him wait last time after we had sex and he feels hurt I had sex again with the next guy even after I said I wanted to wait until I got married.

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What good to you hope to have come out of this? I think this just might give your bf cause to rethink his choice.

It sounds like a game unless you can articulate your good reasons for asking him to wait.

If no good will come from this then why do it?

 

lost

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I was 26 when I cheated we went out for 3 years before that. Didnt have sex the last year and half because I wanted to wait. I am in early thirties now. So we are both ready. We have been best friends for years. Even after I started dating other guy he was still friends with me. I also dated other guys after that guy and did not have sex with any of them.

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I could understand if you wanted to save your virginity until you're married but you've had sex many times with someone else, so why are you making your future husband and 'soulmate' wait when you see how much it upsets him?

 

I'm glad I'm not the one marrying you!!!

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First off, your fiance must really love you to take you back. I really don't understand why you want to wait till you're married to have sex. Who's to say you will be sexually compatible with each other? Although you want to wait - in actuality your virginity has already been taken by this other guy. If this is the guy you plan on spending the rest of your life with, I would first look into the consideration if you would be comfortable to get intimate first. It's really not my call to say that you should sleep with him, but I don't think it's fair whatsoever to your fiance and if the tables were turned, i'm sure you would feel the same way.

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It was sort of cheating because we were over. I just didnt know how to break up. I never had sex again after the other guy even though I dated a few guys after that. It has been a few years since I had sex. I just would like to start new and feel comfortable this time and wait until I get married.

 

He understood last time I wanted to wait I think he will get over it once we having sex after we ae married.

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I had sex with my bf before he was my first not the other guy. So I have had sex with both. He is just upset about waiting twice and not being the last one before we marry. I think he will get over it when we have sex after we are married.

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I still don't follow your reasoning for wanting to wait: just because you didn't have sex for some time doesn't make you a virgin again.

 

The first time around he probably understood, because you were in fact a virgin. This time around, you would have to give him some other (convincing) reason.

 

If your bf knows all the facts and he has proposed to you, there is nothing to indicate that he would chance his mind after the ceremony. Or are you trying to say that he doesn't know everything yet, but that you will tell him everything after you are married??

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I wanted to wait after we had sex when we irst dated. We had sex for a year I just was not comfortable I was never comfortable with the other guy either. We have been engaged ow for 6 months. I have compromised the last few times together we have been fooling around. I wanted to wait to do stuf but now we do most things just not full sex. I dont see why it is so important to him that we have sex beore the wedding. I dont get this wanting to be last guy before wedding.

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You’re being awfully selfish and one minded on this.

 

What I get from your statements: You and your fiancé didn’t have an official break up and you decided to see other people…You met this man at the store and got caught up in the moment and had sex with him (10 times you counted)…but since then you took more respect for yourself and didn’t sleep with the other men you dated…before returning to your “soul mate”.

 

At what point did you consider how much you’ve hurt this poor guy? You asked him to wait…but when a moment presented itself…you jumped RIGHT into bed with another guy and now are asking your fiancé to yet again wait, and to basically get over it and go through with marrying you.

 

Do you not realize how much your walking over this guy and controlling him? Even seen the movie the Other Boleyn Girl? The King ended up “raping” the girl because she had him give up so much and do so much for her and she still didn’t give herself to him… You can turn a “nice” guy into a very angry and bitter person by doing what you are.

 

It’s very manipulative. You can’t have a clean slate and wipe away what you’ve done…when you’re still not doing what’s right.

 

Your not leaving him any compromise. And you aren’t being considerate. When dose his feelings and wants become a matter for your concern? Or is that something you’ll only put into the picture when you’re married?

 

Why don’t you do yourselves both a favor and break up with him so you can get over yourself and “start clean”… you don’t care for him… if he was your soul mate sweetheart you wouldn’t have slept with the next man you saw when you two were broken up.

 

Sorry if this comes off rough...but I highly disagree with your actions.

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I was uncomforable because I was not married. I was more comforable with him than the other guy. I just needed time to grow up and he did to. We are best friends and I did have fun when we had sex but felt guilty afterwards. He didnt take me back. After a few years as just friends he asked me back out.

 

I am just worried because he says I am really hurting him and he gets angry about it. We will have plenty of sex after we are married. I dont see why waiting is wrog and why he wants to be last before we marry. He will be last after and always

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I still don't understand. What is it that makes you so uncomfortable with sex, and what will marriage change about that? Why didn't you feel this way when entering into sex with the other guy? Sounds like a lot of confusion for someone entering a marriage...

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Stop blinding yourself to what your doing is unfair and wrong… you want to keep him waiting and hurting him and ignoring him telling you…because you want to wait again… honey, even in marriage it’s not all going to be about you. You’ll need to find some sort of compromise and really try not to be as selfish because you want to be a “virgin” again. Sorry…but it’s impossible to erase your past…and now your basically telling him he has to go through with this commitment and you can’t be intimate with each other till then…talk about pressure…especially just for sex...

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I always wanted to wait. I guess I was just young and dumb and made a few mistakes. I want it to be right this time. I use to complain when we had sex years ago how I felt uncomforable and it caused problems. I want it to be right this time. We will have all the sex he could want afer wedding. I want him to be last for ever. He seems upset because he will not be last guy I had sex with before we get married. It makes no sense.

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What do you mean by this?

 

 

Quite frankly, you sound manipulative, and this marriage sounds like it'll be over before the reception.....

 

 

But regardless of how I feel, think of your boyfriend. You made him wait, then had sex with this womanizer, then was lucky enough to be taken back by your "soulmate". If you've been engaged for 6 months, the wedding is less then 2 months away and you've had sex with before (with him, especially!) why not just give in and have sex before the wedding? He's compromised and forgiven so much for you, why can't you bend on this one rule?

 

You say it makes you "uncomfortable" but if you're so close to being married and it's such a big deal for him...I saw you owe him big time, my friend.

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That's ridiculous, you should be lucky to have him back after cheating on him but to tell him that you cheated on him with another guy and had sex with that guy but deny him sex after he takes you back is outrageous in my opinion. Im surprised hes still hanging in there.

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He is just upset about waiting twice and not being the last one before we marry. I think he will get over it when we have sex after we are married.

 

You keep saying you "think". Well what if he doesn't and forever holds you as the girl who was screwing another guy before you married? He could you know. Because you only THINK he'll get over it.

 

I too would be upset about waiting twice when you didn't make the other guy wait.

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