What's the least shy-making way to get "set up"?

[mfan]

OK so, ohmygodi'msonervous. So um..., a female acquaintance of mine asked me if I'm currently dating and if I'd like to be "introduced to a [female] friend of hers."

 

I'm flattered that she thought of me, and I am heterosexual, and she clearly thinks highly of me (though we've only known each other for a couple months), but I haven't been on any dates in over 10 years. I am thinking about looking for a relationship, but I assumed I would go through online dating sites, because it seems more slow and controlled. I feel like a setup is like being thrown into the deep end, so I'm scared. Should I say no?

 

I don't really know anything about dating or about how "setups" work. Is my friend likely to just send us out alone together? Or is it more common for this to be with a group of friends? What's a good type of place to meet someone you're "set up" with? Do the rules of "It should be in a public place" still apply?

 

Is it possible to become actual friends with the setupee, or is it understood that it's relationship or nothing? Is there usually awkwardness thereafter if me, my friend, and her are ever together?

 

I'd appreciate any descriptions of what set-ups have been like for you. Thanks so much! Anything will help.

[indierockgrl]

I personally have never been set up... but i would say, maybe go out as a group, maybe with the girl that is setting you up that way its more relaxed and i would think it would be less stressful...... that way, if you arent attracted to each other there are other people there to make it more comfortable... but what the heck, go out and meet a girl... might be fun if nothing else..... good luck!

[jul-els]

I personally find this type of a situation to be too awkward due to the pressure involved while everybody else is around. But if you're not the kind of person who's bothered by that sort of thing then it could have some positive potential. I tried it a couple of times and didn't much care for it. If anyone ever asks me that question nowadays I politely decline.

[HouseKitten]

I was set up once recently with a guy and we all went out as a group of people. I found it less scary that way because the pressure wasn't all on the both of us to make the conversation

 

I'd go for it, what's the worst that can happen? You might not click, it might be a little awkward, you won't see her again. Not the end of the world, and if it goes well then you've had a good evening and might get a second date or more out of it

[Raistlin]

My good friend set me up with one of his good friends once. We all went on a double date that night, and I got lucky that night.

 

That was a great night.

 

I'd say that if you agree, try to make it at least a double date so the conversation is coming from a lot of sources. It's much easier for you and her both to relax and be yourselves rather than trying to impress the girl or at least make a good first impression.

[sti_2004]

Man, just put on some nice clothes and cologne ( put some effort into it) and take this girl out. Dont chicken out. I wouldn't go out in a group as you guys can't spend a whole lot of 1 on 1 time together. If you have to then just make it a double date.

 

Think of it as practice/ experience. Just go have a good time, thats all.