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This time, I'm not so sure


Raistlin

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Once again, Raistlin is lost within the depths of his mind. The difference this time is that I don't know what's bringing me down; just that I have been feeling much lower lately than my normal moodiness.

 

Over the past week or so, I've been feeling less than a piece of gum on the bottom of a shoe, and I really have no idea why. Nothing significant has happened. I just have this overwhelming feeling that I am not significant in any way, even in conjunction to my own life.

 

I haven't been able to focus in class at all, and I could care less about doing my homework for said class. I don't want to be around anyone, yet the last thing I want is to be alone. I can walk into the same room in my house 50 times, and each time will be different than before; as if it's the first time I'm seeing that room, and I am violating the sanctity of it by just being there.

 

A lot of my thoughts have been wandering to my past. What was and what could have been. Things that don't matter anymore, and yet they still hold such significance that they invade my thoughts many times a day.

 

I feel so lost at this point, that it's like the same fog that promised to help me find a healthier side of myself is now leading me in circles, with no intent of letting me leave. My mind is constantly drawing blanks when I try to think about any subject at all, and that itself is very confusing. I used to be very driven and focused, but now I'm lucky if I can get dressed in the right order.

 

I just wanted to write some thoughts down before they flitted away, per normal.

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Sounds to me you need a break.

Do you feel stressed? Are you enjoying your class and what you are learning?

Why do you think that you are not significant in any way?

 

Sometimes it is ok to feel low on energy or being moody... but the feeling on not being significant is something more deeper you need to learn about and find out.

 

Maybe try to write in a diary - whatever comes to your mind just write and see what you come up. From what you wrote about yourself here it seems to me that you have some writing talent ... your expressions are unique and interesting.

 

Why are you wondering about your past? Was it a happy time for you? Are you missing something or someone from you past?

 

It is easy to think about what could have been and what will be - but one is gone the other is not here yet. This is when we miss what is in the NOW. And what is the NOW will determine what it will be in the future.

Maybe if you try to concentrate in the NOW your moodiness will lift and your energy will come back.

 

Let me know how is it going...

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Feeling like a failure, mum? This i...
Feeling like a failure, mum? This is what you need to hear

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