forever1130 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I just had a conversation with my boyfriend and it basically went something like this... Him: i don't want to feel like i'm keeping you from experiencing life which i know I'm doing Me: you really think you're keeping me from experiencing life? i don't see it that way at all Him: be honest, i haven't' been a real boyfriend for a while now and that's not fair to you Sure, we've had our ups and downs lately but despite that I still love him and already feel that I've learned so much about myself and about life in the past year that Ive been with him. I don't know what to do. Is this an 'excuse' for wanting to break up and hinting at the fact that a breakup might be around the corner? Is he just trying to get it off his chest and looking for reassurance? Or does it mean nothing at all and I'm overreacting. I have a funny feeling this might be because of our 5 year age difference, but even if we are at different points in our life, if I feel like I'm not missing out why should he feel bad? Any advice? Link to comment
chloe1981 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Hello there, I am sorry that you are going through this. I just read your other post and was going to respond there but I will respond in this thread. I think he is still seeing his ex gf. The fact that all that other stuff has happened and NOW he is saying a) he doesnt want to hold you back and b)hasnt been a real boyfriend to you really means what it means. I am really sorry. But it is better to know now rather then later......hope you feel better soon. Link to comment
ratfreak Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Well on one hand he could just be encouraging you to have fun and live your life but at the same time he might be hinting that he's not into being your boyfriend anymore... Brace for the worst. Link to comment
chloe1981 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Oh and my advice....go no contact. The longer you stay in contact with him, the harder it will be. I know that seems like the hardest thing in the world but you will be ok. Also if you have been physical with him, then I would get tested. If the ex has been texting you saying they have been together then there is a chance they were sleeping together. But obviously that is only relevant if you are sleeping with him. Link to comment
forever1130 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 Oh and my advice....go no contact. The longer you stay in contact with him, the harder it will be. I know that seems like the hardest thing in the world but you will be ok. Also if you have been physical with him, then I would get tested. If the ex has been texting you saying they have been together then there is a chance they were sleeping together. But obviously that is only relevant if you are sleeping with him. so you think that comment means he definitely means he wants to break up? obviously im gonna need it to be more direct if i plan to go NC, he could just mean that he wants me to have more fun or something, idk maybe im just in denial :sad: and we havent slept together, so that's not an issue Link to comment
chloe1981 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 so you think that comment means he definitely means he wants to break up? obviously im gonna need it to be more direct if i plan to go NC, he could just mean that he wants me to have more fun or something, idk maybe im just in denial :sad: and we havent slept together, so that's not an issue Yeh it could mean that.....you really need to sit down with him and talk to him...face to face would be ideal. Then you can see his expressions etc. BUT given what has happened with the dinner, the texts, and now those comments...its seems like he is trying to break it off nicely and doesnt want to hurt you. BUT i could be wrong!! Call him now if you can and see if you can get more out of him.....just tell him you want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I just read your other thread about the texts. I also think there is something going on between them. Did the conversation you posted about in this thread come out of the blue? Link to comment
forever1130 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 I just read your other thread about the texts. I also think there is something going on between them. Did the conversation you posted about in this thread come out of the blue? No, we were talking about everything that happened and towards the end of it he brought up this point. I dont know, im so confused right now.. I'm scared to ask him if that's his nice way of breaking up with me for the fear that his answer will be yes Link to comment
forever1130 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 I just don't get it, everything seemed to perfect and now it seems like it's all coming unraveled so quickly Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 No, we were talking about everything that happened and towards the end of it he brought up this point. I dont know, im so confused right now.. I'm scared to ask him if that's his nice way of breaking up with me for the fear that his answer will be yes I know and I am really sorry about it all. It would be better to know though right? It sounds to me like he was trying to make out that you don't need him, that you would be better off without him and what not. I think a lot of dumpers do this to make it easier for them. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 P.s. After he said that, how did the conversation actually end? Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Not to discourage you (because your bf could be different), but my ex basically started our break up with those same words "I don't want to hold you back...I want you to do what you want to in life, go where you want to go..." Come to find out, he basically ended up saying that HE wanted to find himself, wanted more from life, wasn't ready to be a husband. So it sounds like your bf is trying to get YOU to either break up with him or admit that it would be a good idea so he can get loose without much of a fuss. If you are happy with him, he probably feels awful to burst your bubble so he's trying to make you think you're not happy. Just what it sounds like. Seems like guys are sneaky that way. Hopefully yours isn't... Link to comment
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