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Effectiveness of writing a letter?


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My ex broke up with me almost four months ago. We were together three years and he met someone else and broke up with me to date the new girl. In high hopes that we would get back together, I backed away from the situation giving him his space despite how betrayed I felt. He and the girl are still together and as the days go by my hope dwindles. I have been feeling angry lately because I never got any answers or explanations from him when we broke up. After being together for so long and sharing so much, I think I deserve some sort of explanation. I think I need to write him a letter explaining all my feelings and letting him know what I have gone through in order to heal. Yes, I still hope we will get back together and I think this letter could ruin my chance but I think at this point I need to say it to restore some dignity. Will it do anything?

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I don't think it will do anything at all, if anything it will only push him further away. And it certainly wont restore dignity, but the opposite. It will only show him that almost 4 months later you are still moping about thinking about him. Nothing wrong with that, it's a hard thing to get over, but he doesn't need to know that, don't give him the satisfaction.

 

Another thing is that whatever answers you get probably won't be the truth anyway. Your best tool for moving on will be to accept it for what it is right now. Sounds harsh, be he left you for someone else and that is all there is to it. Not sure if there was cheating involved but likely if he left you for her. In that case he just isn't worth it.

 

Regarding getting back together, it might happen, it might not but a letter certainly won't influence him coming back. If it's meant to happen it will. Right now, he is still in the honeymoon phase with this new girl, when that wears off he might realise what he threw away and may try to come back. In the meantime though I think you should try your best to move on.

 

And I would certainly advise against sending that letter.

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I would definitely write a letter, but DON'T send it to him. Do to allow yourself to express your emotions on paper. It will not do any good trying to get him back. He's with someone else. You are better off trying to find someone who will put you first. He is obviously not doing that. Not worth it, in my opinion.

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I would definitely write a letter, but DON'T send it to him. Do to allow yourself to express your emotions on paper. It will not do any good trying to get him back. He's with someone else. You are better off trying to find someone who will put you first. He is obviously not doing that. Not worth it, in my opinion.

I agree with this post write your letter and vent your thoughts and put your letter away in your drawer. then start to refocus on your new life, the sooner the better..you are laying in wait for someone who is not waiting for you...accept this.....whether he regrets his loss of you down the track or not is of no importance..everyday that YOU wait for him is another day LOST of possible future happiness in your own life. Dont be a sitting duck you deserve more for yourself..i know it hurts, buts stop letting it hurt you so much fill this void with some positive things in your life...look after you...

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As dragon lady has said, write the letter, but don't send it to him. It only takes you to heal. It only takes you to let go. It only takes you to get closure. Sending him the letter will make things worse.

 

Truth be told, he left you for someone else, does that bode well for the future if he came back. You weren't good enough then, won't you feel worse if he came back, always wondering if he is just waiting for someone better to come along...

 

Stay NC and move on.

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I need to say it to restore some dignity. also this comment would be likely to make you feel less dignified. What if he passed it(your letter) onto his girlfriend or to others to read..How would THAT make you feel.??? Being dignified is moving ahead with your head held high and not talking about him to friends or other people...You control your dignity not him

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tough call. probably won't make you feel any better by sending it. under certain circumstances...it might make sense. the conditions of your breakup seem pretty concrete in this case though. you may be searching for reasons that aren't there. i've struggled with the whole letter concept at times as well. i think if you search your gut...you'll know what's right for you.

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Write the letter but don't send it.

Doing so will only give him the satisfaction that he's doing well and you're hurt and can't move on.

 

I don't think there would be a chance of getting back together because he gave you no explanations and if he's with this other person... even if he comes back, he'll just do it again because you allowed it the first time.

 

I know it's hard but keep busy and hang in there.

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i just did the same thing. my ex broke up with me and really was cold and emotionless in her emails. so i sent a monster long email telling her how i felt. when i went the other day to get my things, all she said was i got your email. that made the pain worse she didnt acknowledge anything i said.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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