Parky Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I've used this forum quite alot in the past and i'm back again to seek some advice on my situation. To cut a long story short, i split up with my ex girlfriend (of 4 years) around 2 months ago, it was a mutual agreement but more on her side. The relationship wasn't getting anywhere, too much arguments etc. If you look at my posting history, you will see that we've split up before (you dont have to read it). So i decided to move on, take two months off to heal and better myself and now i feel i can get back into the dating game. I've been going out on a weekly basis to a club with a good friend of mine (who has a girlfriend of around 2 years) and i've been meeting new people, her friends etc, you get the drift. Anyway, this Saturday just gone it was my friends girlfriend cousins birthday and they went to the same club as the one me and my friend go to, during the night we obviously bumped into the group of girls. Now, there was this girl (one of her cousins, not the birthday girl) who seemed really interested in me, she came up to me, asked what my name was and we started dancing a little. Then me and my friend went to the bar, i turned around and there she was again, saying my name, very keen and touchy, she put her arms around me and we started dancing again. But stupid me never bought her a drink nor asked what her name was! I feel so stupid now. But anyway, we carried on dancing a little until my friend wanted to go into a different room. I asked her if i could take her on a date and she said yes and gave me her number, this is the point where i found out her name. The night goes on, i didnt see the sight of her that night again. Me and my friend met up with his girlfriend, her cousin got lost and had gone home, confirmed by her ringing to see if she was ok. So, i went home happy but feeling let down because i now remember that i didnt praise her, i didnt say any nice things, i just kept my mouth shut and kept cool. I did of course speak to her, we were mainly dancing though. Maybe im not used to dating because of my long relationship? I got up the next morning, logged into MSN and my friends girlfriend was on, she asked me if i had text her, at the time i hadnt. I first asked some questions on whether is she really interested in me and she said yes, "she was really keen and asked some questions about you such as are you single". What made me happy was the fact that she was asking questions before we had met face to face such as who is that etc etc. Furthmore, my friends girlfriend asked her if she really liked me and she said yes, then she said really? and answered with yes! I sent a text message at around 12:30pm (GMT) on the Sunday. I basically said in the text "Hey (her name), it's (my name), did you have a good night? hope you got home safe" and left it at that to see if she would reply.To this day, i've got no reply. My friends girlfriend reassured me that she will get in touch, she isnt a phone person and is sometimes hard to get hold of, so i thought fair enough. I waited and waited, still no reply, My friends girlfriend rang her (the house phone after trying her mobile) and asked her if she is going to text me and she said yes, she also asked if she would go on a date with me and she also said yes and thought it was sweet. The excuse she gave for not texting me is that her family is over so she is busy. As im writing this i've no reply yet, there could be many reasons why. Maybe she isnt interested afterall? I'm confident she is, her body language and interest showed it at the club and my friend said she hadnt drunk alot. I just need to know what to do next, do i call her? do i wait it out? I've spoke to my friends about this and they think she is probably waiting for me to call her, seeing if i'm really interested in her despite the text message i sent. The girl that is supposed to be interested in me is a student with no money or job, could it be she doesnt have the credit? Need some advice, if i've to phone her what should i say? How much longer should i leave it? Thanks very much. Link to comment
Nutz Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Text her again tomorrow afternoon. If you get a response call her that evening between 8 and 9 so she'll most likely be home and not doing anything. Just BS for a bit, but don't ask her out. My rule of thumb is to have 4 or 5 back and forth interactions be it text, phone, online, etc before asking a woman out. There are 3 reasons for this: A) it's not as try-hard and doesn't feel desperate and B) she'll be more invested in you due to the exchanges you've already had, and C) if you ask her out on Monday or Tuesday, a lot can happen between then and the weekend and the odds of her flaking are much higher. Then again I don't go on traditional dates anymore for the most part, nor do I go out with women on Friday or Saturday nights unless there's guaranteed sex. My weekends are "me time" and I prefer to spending it hanging out with the guys and picking up new women for the following week. For me, I usually contact them on Mon or Tuesday (in your case push it back to Wed or Thurs) and say something along the lines of: "We should hang out sometimes. I'll give you a call in a couple days and we'll set something up." This way it keeps her in suspense, doesn't give her a chance to weigh what else is going on, and she'll be hooked to see what you have to offer to and she'll be judging her other offers for merit, instead of what you've got going. It's essentially a frame shift. Link to comment
ratfreak Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I'd send her a text asking if she'd be up for going out sometime. She might be waiting for you to make the move or she really might be busy. How long as it been since you sent her your last message? Link to comment
Parky Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 I'd send her a text asking if she'd be up for going out sometime. She might be waiting for you to make the move or she really might be busy. How long as it been since you sent her your last message? The last time i sent her a message was the first time which was on Sunday at 12:30 (GMT) in the afternoon. I havent heard from her since and it's (Tuesday 9am GMT). Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 its only been 2 days... 2 days is enough... The truth is: she (perhaps?) doesn't want contact anymore? Link to comment
Parky Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 2 days is enough... The truth is: she (perhaps?) doesn't want contact anymore? Should i not give her a call to get the real deal? Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Should i not give her a call to get the real deal? You can try... after 2 days of disconnection, i think it is ok to try one more time... but be prepared that she is not there... again. Or else you could leave it as it is & try to go on with your life... Maybe she will really contact you soon? Link to comment
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