wolf22 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 had the breakup retalk yesterday, and she broke my heart.. she says she wants to be alone and wants me to have time to heal from breakup... my question is this... a few times during the talk she said we would talk again and start as friends.. then after our last hug she i told her to call me if she ever wanted, and she said "we'll talk again" was this a make her feel better line, just to get me out, or was it legit? thanks ladies Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Yes that was a legit offering for future friendship and clearly nothing more. When can handle it in time I think she would genuinely offer you friendship which is what I gathered from what you wrote but she is by no means implying that you guys will get back together. Link to comment
hers Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 every time i've used this line and heard this line, it was for comfort. i said it to comfort them, they said it to comfort me. i am not friends with any exes even though this line has been used every break up. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 i feel like an idiot though , i wish i would have known she was using a line on me. and i bought it hook, line, and sinker. i wish i could call her now and tell her how bad that hurt, but it wouldnt work anyway. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 She actually doesn't have to know that you bought into it. If you don't contact her ever again then she will know that you are not rushing out to take her up on her offer. If she calls to be your friend you can choose NOT to be her friend and tell her that unless the two of you are reconciling as a couple, you are not interested in being JUST her friend and it is best to continue on your separate ways. In other words, it doesn't matter what impression you gave off in the heat of the moment...what counts most is your actions from here on in...you don't have to do anything but walk away and not look back. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 thats where i am today... i am almost mad at her for saying it. she said it a few times, and added we'll see where it goes as friends. i am done talking, the ball is in her court. i just wondered a woman would say that, because i think its crueler to give false hope Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 who knows why she said it, only she knows, but I agree that it is cruel to let you down easy if it feeds false hopes of reconciliation or friendship. I think that both men and women do this, it just depends on the person. But, she could mean that he does what a friendship. If she didn,t mean it, then I suppose it is better to be brutally honnest, but maybe it seems too much at the time? remmeber she could also be confused and afraid to loose you as well. sorry your heart is broken... I know that pain. I still hurt, but it gets better. you wll need a lot of tears and time. ETA and don,t worry about looking like a fool. the last thing that matters is what the other thinks of you. Link to comment
hers Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I think in times of breakup, you're not thinking of giving them false hope, but you say whatever it is to make the situation easier for the person to handle. Maybe say anything to make yourself handle it better too. I didn't realize I was feeding guys lines when I said it to them--i meant it. Only later, after I'd said it, I realized I didn't want to be friends w/ them for one reason or another. So I don't think she meant to give you false hope. Maube she just wanted you to feel better in any way she could. Link to comment
Tsila Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 thats where i am today... i am almost mad at her for saying it. she said it a few times, and added we'll see where it goes as friends. i am done talking, the ball is in her court. i just wondered a woman would say that, because i think its crueler to give false hope People use words all the time and don't think about what it can mean and how it can hurt. 'it's not you, it's me' was used on my by guys all the time. What does that mean? (I interpret it as it is definitely me - others say it is not) Let's stay friends or we'll talk again - I see this as a term used to say 'good bye'. It is not possible to stay friends with someone you love and the person does not love you back. You will talk again...about what? She is either interested in you or she needs time to realize that she misses you. Give her the time - and in the meantime take care of yourself. Go to the gym and do some body workout. Check out some self-growth programs etc. Read about women and how they see the world and what makes them tick. There are tons of books out there - one good one that comes to mind is Mars and Venus. link removed When you love someone very much you let her go. If she comes back she is yours to keep, if she doesn't, she was never yours to begin with. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 thanks for all the replys... in the moment, i thought she was honest about talking one day. but the way she was being so cold and not showing her emotions, i guess i just dont understand. when you are sobbing during a breakup, giving hope through emails, and then just turn it all off, i dont get it. we were great together, we just fought alot and had a hard time adjusting to her new job. but i guess she choose work over me. as for the pain, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i am trying to start over. i took the six weeks in between to bust my ass, go to counseling, read relationship books, and try to fix things with her. and it just wasnt enough. i wonder how many other guys would have went that far. like i said, she email dumped me then kept saying the talk one day thing. i dont know what is in her head, and i may never know. Link to comment
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