Ms.Lady Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Last night was so so horrible.. I spent another lonely night to myself and the pain was so unbearable. I started crying uncontrollably... I'm feeling the worst kind of anxiety. I have butterflies in my stomach and I feel hopeless. I miss this man so much. I keep waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for him to call me and talk like we used to.. Staying on the phone.. listening to him tell me things about how much he cared.. Making me laugh.. I basically cried and drank myself to sleep... Got up this morning to nothing as usual. Emptiness and not a phonecall in the world. I got up to run errands and getting out of the house felt good. It seemed like everywhere I went, there were happy people & happy couples. People smiling and people in love. It really does something to me.. People dating and having fun.. What do I have nothing... Link to comment
flash83 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 take it from someone who has done the same thing many nights after a terrible breakup ... it does get better. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 take it from someone who has done the same thing many nights after a terrible breakup ... it does get better. I hope I can get over him soon.. This is horrible. The one thing that made me happy,suddenly just left out of my life. I don't think I can ever find someone that made me that happy again. I don't know if anyone can capture me the way he did.. I dunno.. I know time heals all wounds but I wish I could fast forward a year from now.. Link to comment
turkieblue Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I basically cried and drank myself to sleep... Drinking does numb the pain, but it doesn't fix the problem. it just gives you another one. Focus on yourself. I know you've probably heard that a million times, but again: FOCUS ON YOURSELF! Build up your self esteem. Nothing can "fix" a broken heart. There's no quick fix. Time helps. Why? Because with time, you can find others who make you happy, you can do things like going out with friends, working out alone, reading, drawing, working at the office, things to take him off your mind, and give you little bits of happyness here and there. Time can also hurt. If you don't get out of this depression, it will grow like a fungus and consume you. Drinking and numbing the pain, but not working to get out of it, will only let this consume you. You have to get some confidence back. You have to feel like you did before him. Get a hobby. Working out, Cooking and Drawing are the 3 things that put band-aids on my broken hearts. I feel better physically even after 2-3 weeks of working out, and that boots my ego. I don't mean weight lifting, I do push-ups and sit-ups, but you can just do jumping jacks or go walking/running. Start slow, and short, build up. You'll be amazed how well this works. Or start experimenting with cooking, try new things, yes it's a bit $$$, but you'll feel better at getting this skill. Isolate yourself for a bit if you have to, get yourself together, but get out there. Be social. Have no friends? Try to find anything, a book club or bingo group, take an evening class, whatever. But you have to get out and into a social circle. Just don't go expecting to find a "replacement". Someone will come along, eventually, that might be weeks or months, or longer. But please don't sit alone. Get out there, build yourself up again, and see what happens. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I feel the same way you do. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Ouch, I just want to hug you right now and say: everything will be alright. Maybe because I need such hug myself. I am here cause my friends are already tired of hearing me wining over and over again. It will get better for us I'm sure!!! Pain will be rewarded!!! Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 You're right I'm going to have to push myself to be more productive. I need to get on this job searching bandwagon, number 1 because I've been unemployed for about a month, so this just adds on to the stress and depression I'm feeling at the moment. Finding a job seems completely hopeless and I'm so tired of getting the door shut in my face. This adds on to my self esteem... I'm constantly worrying about my ex and why he didn't want me? All kinds of thoughts are in my head that's making me sick like... Is he with someone else?Did he not find my attractive? Was I not interesting enough for him? I know I could do better but I just wish he wanted me.. Most activities require money and I'm kind of short on that right now, at least until I can get a job. I guess I'm going to have to be creative. Link to comment
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