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He left me a note


annalisa84

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I was together with him for more than two years. We had our fair share of problems, because he sometimes walked on the borderline of cheating. Anyway I actually believed we are going to make it, we were doing so much better lately and I loved him.

 

Last Friday morning he drop me to work, kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me and confirmed the dinner plans with friends. When I came back from work, there was a note on our bed that he has left me. He had printed out couple of lines and then signed it, like a document. He had taken most of his things and left..

 

I'm still in shock, haven't contacted him, haven't heard from him. On Sunday from our mutual account I saw that he closed the card in Europe, in his home country. He appareantly went back to his homecountry.

 

I am paralyzed. We took a dog some wweks ago, his father was visiting us last week, he cuddled me that morning, he told me he loved me that day... And it was all fake. He had plans to go overseas, tickets apparently and.. he left me a note. Not even saying he's going back.

 

I haven't cried. I haven't realized whats going on. All I can think is that in two days I have to pay the rent and he always gives the half and I don't even know the account number, he always took care of that.. Now I'm all alone in a place I cannot afford without any notice or explanation.

 

Everybody says that he is the most awful man and I should be happy we didn't have kids before I found out. But.. I love him.\

 

Even if he didn't love me, how could he do that? I'm afraid that when I start to cry, I cannot stop and I will go into a very dark place. How can somebody do that? I must be an awful person.

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What am I supposed to do?

 

First off, you need to sort out the practicalities - speaking to the landlord, getting all the information you need.

 

You're in shock right now but you need to make sure your home is secure and you have enough money to live, however you have to sort it.

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It's terrible he has done that to you, but unfortunately sometimes you never know. My sister is half way through her divorce proceedings at the moment. To her everything was how it always has been and nothing out of the blue. He was acting casual like nothing was up. Next thing she knows he givers her papers for a divorce before she even knew they were splitting up. Apparently he had been having an affair for a number of years. At the end of the day it was his loss and the same goes for your man (not saying he ran off with another woman though).

 

So I agree, sort out the house. There will be nothing worse than being depressed and down and also made homeless !

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OMG! What a cad. I'm sorry for this happening.

 

As Agent says above you need to take care of yourself now. Make sure your funds are going away and everything else is in order. Next deal with this walk-out wonder...

 

I'm so sorry for you.

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But is this common? Do other people actually do that? It's just so cold and cruel. And I have so much love inside of me..

 

Common? I dont think so...This is very cold hearted, cruel thing to do... my goodness. He couldn't even write the letter himself! He left you a "Dear John" letter & left. I heard of these things happening, but never knew anyone that experienced it.

 

I cannot imagine how awful this feels & Im so very sorry you had to deal with this kind of person. What a J*RK! :splat:

 

He left his car too? What does he expect you to do with it? What did he type in this note he left?

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You poor thing - definitely not common, and very cold hearted that he had obviously been busy planning for a good while.

 

Totally agree with other posts, you must sort out the day to day things especially with regards to family and housing first.

 

One thing - you do/did not deserve to be treated like that.

 

Best wishes.

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Thank you so much! You're right, I should right now not ask why and how, but to act and make sure I wont be homeless as well.

 

He typed something like that, it's still in the rubbish bin in my bedroom: I am leaving you. I'm sorry I'm doing it like this, but I dont want to see you cry. I've been planning this for a long time.

 

I remember thinking that if you planned it so long, couldn't you write a better letter at least or reread this one. It was obvioulsy written in a hurry...

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Well since he was always borderline cheating & knowing he planned this for awhile - be very grateful he is out of your life! I know its easy for me to say, but one day you will realize this! Keep your head up & again Im sorry you came accross a j*rk like this in your lifetime. Just know this isn't common, not your fault & only a very cold hearted person would do something so horrible. I can't believe there are people out there that are capable of acting this way & never look back!

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Can you sell the car to pay the rent until you find a place you can afford on your own?

 

People do leave like that and it's sad.

But they are sadder because they are cowards who are not willing to face the pain they've caused.

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Thanks everyone for your thoughts! But I have understood something..

 

This weekend, after he left me - I started the spring cleaning, got rid of his things, bought flowers for myself, even some yellow balloons, had friends come over, had colleagues come over, went out for dinner with new people, even accepted to go on a date (not sure about that began with flamenco lessons, had long walks with my dog etc.

 

And I didn't cry. Didn't wish to contact him. Most of the time didn't even think of him. Why? Because one way or another, I agree with him. Somehow I'm even content his gone. Our problems couldn't be solved while we were together. We both needed some time alone, at least some time. He hurt me and I reacted in a very wrong way. I needed to have some perspective. I needed to stop blaming him, forgive him, move on and learn to smile again. Learn to trust again - trust myself that I'm strong enough to survive. Bad things happen in our life, but we should not let them paralyze us. As he said, it's all about our state of mind. I'm going to listen to him. And he needed to get away from this pressure as well, I understand.

 

I still love him, still talk to him in my thoughts, still hear him coming home. But I understand he's gone. Now I have to take care of myself. I already stopped blaming him, I will stop waiting for him and one day I'll stop loving him. I will prove to myself that I learn from my mistakes, my mistakes have no control over me, they are not my life - I am.

 

Maybe one day he'll understand that like he is not his mistakes, I'm not mine. Or maybe he's just a cold and cruel man and I'm sooo much better without him

 

I'm done being miserable. So for now, have to stay away froim this site See you soon.

 

Thanks again!

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Glad everyone could have been of help. I hope I never see you back here again (in the nicest way) unless its to make others feel better. Its great you are taking this so well. All though I would say a date is a bit soon

 

Good luck !

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