butterfly0411 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Hi folks, I've got a dilemma and found your website at random. I'm not sure where to start but I will try to be brief and precise. I've a very bad crush on one of my workmates. It has been going on for 6 months now. I can't stop thinking about him. I think it all started when I first saw him. Just 3 seconds must have been enough to fall for him. Sounds like 1st sight love lol yes maybe it is. I'm bizarre though as it comes to 1st sight love it's happened to me before and didn't work out. I'm a shy natured woman in my 20's. He's in his late 20's I think and very handsome (to me and probably other girls). I screwed everything up though... When he started working in my workplace I have already been there for a while. I noticed him starring at me quite a lot whenever passing by and I would always look back at him. I sometimes can't look back cos I'm quite timid and would blush. I'm really bad at it... talking to my crush I don't know why.. maybe it's because I feel like he's so special but then again we haven't made friends yet. I tried talking to him and managed to talk twice or so... Gosh it was tough i think i sounded like a fool.. then there was holidays and i was away for a bit. WHen I came back I decided to let him know I am fond of him and I wrote a poem for him... I passed it through his friend and thats was it... I must have scared a poor guy... SIlly me yes. SInce then he's been avoiding me more then we started saying hi to each other again.. and lately he looks at me again but I don't know how to act around him no more. I still like him loads but I feel like a foolish girl who screwed everything up... WHat do you guys think about this? Is there anything I can do to make things better or should I stay away and try to forget him After all I don't know if he likes me back or not. It seemed like it is mutual what I feel for him but then again he hasnt done much himself... I dont know if he is shy or not but when i was close to him talking/sitting nearby he was avoiding eye contact. Not sure now if it's a good or bad sign. ANyway please tell me your opinions what you think, thanks for reading me... Hope it wasnt boring to you's. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I think a poem may have been overdoing it, especially when it sounds like you've hardly spoken to the guy beforehand. Try and relax around him, make some jokes, chat about normal, everyday subjects, and build up his idea of you as a nice normal girl again he was probably just a little freaked out by getting a poem from someone he doesn't know very well, and didn't know how to react. If he's still interested then the more open you are the more he might respond to you. If he doesn't return any of your signals or attempt conversation and contact with you himself, he's probably not interested. Not very nice, but these things happen just learn what you can from it for the next time you meet someone. Link to comment
butterfly0411 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 PS. Just if you were wondering, my poem wasn't scary it didn't say anything about love. I mean it just says I am fond of him and think about him. Nothing bad. I wish I could treat him as a friend but i cant for some reason.. im more shy around him than anyone else it's so damn tough just to be like mates/friends and pretend everything is ok when I want him! Link to comment
butterfly0411 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 Thanks. I know it all went wrong. My fault most likely. I am not very opened around guys lately. I have been abused emotionally in my last relationship and it made my self-esteem to suffer a bit. I'm trying to improve it but i still dont feel confident to trust guys easily and make friends with them. I believe that guy I have a crush on is a decent one (even though I dont know him well) but as much as I observe him he's nice and friendly. I wish I have been more opened and showed him my soul. I can't take my eyes of him when I see him.. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 You say it wasn't scary but I don't know, I think any man would be a little freaked out by getting a poem from someone they don't know well - it's something you've obviously put work and feeling into, and when you haven't even been on a date that might come accross as a little full-on. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Okay, it sounds like you're obsessing over him a bit when you hardly know him Showing someone your soul is something I think you'd reserve for someone you've gotten to know a little better. I think the problem here is you've invested a lot of emotion and thought in this guy when really you only know him through work and haven't had a lot of actual contact with him. Try not to get too attached I've learnt this firsthand myself, men can sense desperation somehow, and they don't like it > Link to comment
butterfly0411 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 Yea it's too much what I have done I know. I thought that guy seemed shy and maybe in his perception I look kind of young? Who knows. I have given that poem for a Valentines day so it wasnt just like that. It was a mistake though. It's in the past. I live what#s in the present and the future. I feel bad though what happened. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Ah don't feel bad, dating is a learning process and we all make mistakes at first This is all experience that'll benefit you in the future Link to comment
butterfly0411 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 Thanks for cheering me up I think this has taught me a lesson not to show a guy that I am over-keen. I wont be chasing a guy next time no matter how much I like him... I will try to be friends first. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Yeah overkeen really seems to blow things, trust me I've made that mistake as well Hope you have some better luck next time! If you have it in mind that you're just getting to know a guy and being friendly as well then you might find it easier to relax, takes some of the pressure off you Link to comment
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