wolf22 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i want to thank everyone for reading all my posts. i ended up going to exs yesterday to get my things, and tell her how hard i worked at getting her back ( counseling , books, not calling her ). she told me she had to keep her wall up when i was there. she also made plans for 1/2 hr after i got there, so i was on the clock. i guess i will never know how she really felt. i wanted to keep it light, and she was just like a rock. we hugged and said goodbye. actually i thought she wanted a kiss, but then she turned her head. that was really embarrasing. then of course, she had to leave the door open, even though i am moving on. she told me when we both heal she wanted to talk again. before i walked away i told her to call me sometime and she said "we'll talk again". i know she was just trying to make the breakup easier. i am proud of myself i didnt cry haha. i know the future talk was fluff but it hurt she wouldnt open up. i have to move on, but like all of you have said before, the pain is intense. i just pray it gets easier. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 You're right, keep moving on. It hurts and seeing her hurts more. You may or you may not speak in the future. You can walk away with your head held high knowing that you did all you could to make the relationship work. She on the other hand took the easy way out. Good luck friend. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 i know it sounds dumb to be proud of myself for not crying, but that truly was the worst moment of my life. i obviously wish she would have fought harder for us, but what can i do. when a woman ends a break up talk with "we'll talk again..." is that just fluff? Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 In my mind yes, that's fluff. Helps to ease their guilt. Stand tall and walk away like a man. She won't expect that. She's waiting on you to beg and plead. Don't give her the satisfaction. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 thats the crappy thing man. i did all the right things. i never begged or pleaded or called her. i gave her , her space. i sent her flowers for her bday and anniversary just so she knew i was thinking of her. for her to tell me her wall was up, and then pretending she only had 1/2 hr to talk really hurts. but like a fool i bought into the whole "we'll talk again thing". i feel like such a sucker... Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Don't sweat it. You can't let her under your skin like that. Link to comment
hesnotworthit Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Wow, you are so strong. Good on you for not crying, let her see how you can be strong without her. Even by the way your talking, demonstrates that your already moving fast on the road of recovery...(i was a complete blubbering mess after i said goodbye!). And yes, i think she said that to attempt to make it a bit easier...but who knows what the future holds for you both...right now concentrate on healing yourself...and if shes there in the future to talk then great, if not it was never meant to be. Hang in there, your doing great so far! Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 ya i dont know how strong i am. i teared up a few times, but i fought it. i found myself doing this weird thing where i would clear my throat really angry as to remind myself to suck it up. recovery is really hard. sadly i think alot about what she said about talking again one day. im still really mad she wouldnt open up to me and be honest, but everyone says thats because she still cared. i dont know, i just wish this knot in my stomach would leave. Link to comment
aglaia Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I understand what you mean when you say you keep thinking about what she means by saying you'll talk again... my ex's parting words were "we'll keep in contact"... and I really wanted to scream at him for saying that... why do they use phrases like 'you never know what will happen in future' or 'we'll see how it goes'... i really resented him for saying things like that because deep down i knew he didn't mean them Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 exactly!!! if it is over, then say it!! Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 exactly!!! if it is over, then say it!! They don't necessarily know if it's over either. They’re only admitting it's over for now, thus breaking up. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 i talked to my counselor today about what happened sunday, and even she was stunned. my ex had a tough job, and she suspect thats whats up. we were both upset how she would not even open her heart open up a little bit that day. during our breakup talk, i made the comment, i would rather be miserable with you than happy with someone else.... i tried explaining how i was just trying to say anything to make her see how much i cared. but she said that comment bothered her. she also said i was a great father (my son) and an ok bf. wow, quite a compliment. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Let her go for now. Try to occupy your mind with something else, someone else. Link to comment
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