Jump to content


Recommended Posts

Hey guys,


So for about 3 weeks now I have been casually dating this girl I met in a bar. We swapped numbers and arranged to go out for a drink which went well, we have also been out to the cinema and bowling on two other dates.


We also bumped into each other in town last Saturday when she was out with her friends and I was out with mine. I was even introduced to her brother after he had said she was talking about me.


So the weekend just gone – on the Friday we went bowling with a couple of my mates and a couple of hers ( I had forgotten how fun bowling was!) anyway – the night goes well, we are kissing, holding hands, she is sitting on my lap etc. We then go for a few drinks after and the same trend continues.


We meet in town on Saturday night again with a couple of her mates and mine – the same as Friday happens, which is great as I am starting to like her the more I hang out with her.


We leave the club on Saturday night holding hands and then her and her friends simply jump in a cab – I was hanging behind slightly talking to my friend about something. No kiss goodnight not even a goodbye.


So yesterday we get to talking on facebook about the previous night. Great – no problem, she has to leave as she is going to a family relative.


I text her asking if she would like to go out next week for dinner. And this is the text conversation.


Her – I am Hassle.


Me- Can I not be the judge of that.


Her – I know I am not being fair to you and I am sorry but I have some issues to sort out.


Me – ok I guess ill just see out in town then


Her – oh ok, well I hope so.


Me – this sucks – but if its what you want not a lot I can do.


Her – you was the one who said ‘see you around’, I was just saying sorry for leaving you hanging at the minute while I try to sort my issues out.


Me – what are the issues? Is there someone else?


Her – There is no one else, I run away when someone gets to close to me, you’re the first guy I have been out with in 2 years – not through lack of offers. So you’re a big deal.


Me – we can take this as slow as you want. No pressure.


She does not reply to that one.


I know she was in a 2 and half year relationship with some guy who she also lived with so I am guessing he hurt her in someway which causes her to run away.


So basically the advice I am after is – is there hope? My gut is telling me too just leave it now and give her as much space as possible until or if she contacts me again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I broke up with someone this past October who pretty much chewed me up and spit me out. It was serious, we were living together, and the ending was brutal enough that there is a small army of people who want to punch him in his junk.


Three months ago, I started dating my current bf, G. Even though it probably took 2-1/2 months to melt my heart, and he knew about my situation...we agreed to take it slow in the beginning, but never did I once say, "I'm a hassle. I don't wanna see you cuz I have things to figure out."


I may have been guarded, hesistant, but I made it clear to him that I wanted to be with him. I'm saying to you...take what she says at face value. No amount of space will do anything. It's either they're willing to work towards something or not at all...and the question here is, what do you want? It sounds like to me, she will be a hassle, be non-confrontational, dishonest with how she's feelings, and she doesn't plan on giving you want you need or want.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Women! Seriously, why do they do that?!


Forgive me for being negative about it but I'd just treat this as her trying to tell you she's not interested. But that is probably just me being negative because I no longer trust what a girl says. What they say and what they do is different.


With that in mind, the best thing you can do is to completely back off and let her come to you. At least that way you won't look stupid if she does blow you out. That said, if she does mean what she says (but do girls ever do that?) then give her time and be patient.


As I say, I'm sorry for seeming so negative about it but in my experience, if a girl wants to be with someone then she will be. Just show her what she's missing and see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright...then...even though I think she pretty much said I don't wanna kick it...The one big sign...no matter how f'ed up she is in the head...if she can't kiss you goodbye especially after several dates, or say goodnight...she's not worth your thoughts/energy (period).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like she's not being entirely truthful.


I'm a very emotional person and have been through HELL with some guys in the past...and that never stopped me from pursuing relationships later on if I REALLY felt they were worth my time and effort. Yeah, I have admitted up front to a guy or two that I've been burned and that might affect how I feel about certain things, but I've never just called anything off as a result of it.


I'd move on and find another girl. She seems like a waste of your time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...