rivercitystein Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I have never had a LDR and I'm just curious as to why anyone would choose to have one. I can maybe see it if you two are together and one goes away to college or something. My question is: What made you decide to be involved in a LDR? Do you feel like you are getting enough out of the LDR? Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I didn't really decide to be in an LDR - I bet the man I'm seeing through world of Warcraft and we were just friends at first, but once my previous relationship broke up we got closer and since I'm in England and he's in Ireland, the distance didn't seem too bad. But I wouldn't normally bother starting something with someone that far away if I knew it was going to develop into a relationship. As for what I get out of it - I don't think I could do this long term because sex is an important part of a relationship for me and so no, I probably won't get enough out of this LDR unless our circumstances change Link to comment
teressa Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I met him when we lived a few miles from each other, then I moved. We got involved after that. He has plans to move here or I wouldn't want to get too involved with it, but after a month or so (and years of friendship) he's moving...so the distance has a time limit. I was in one long distance relationship before, he moved away to go to grad school. I stayed with him for a full year before he decided he wans't going to move back; at that point we split up. (I'm not willing to move again, I love where I live.) In some cases it's worth it, in others, it's not. Link to comment
Venomite Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I didn't choose the LDR. We originally lived two doors down, but then she got into a prestigious university program and so went off, and we managed an LDR for about a year. Oh man, I am going to avoid that type of relationship at all costs from now on. Sometimes it is just so hard to believe in a relationship whenever you cannot physically be with her/him. Link to comment
Unknown1607307972 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I met my boyfriend on a gaming forum. He's from Denmark and I'm from England. We were casual contacts but grew closer and closer and once I ended my failing relationship with my ex we had grown incredibley close. We decided to meet, he flew to London and it was amazing I didn't plan to be in an LDR but I believe that letting someone so special to you slip away just because of a distance is a huge mistake We're crazy about eachother and although we both love sex we can be strong enough we see eachother every few months, I'm seeing him next in Copenhagen in just 11 days for a week and I am really excited! A LDR is rarely planned but they certainly can work as long as both people are committed and you keep in very regular contact. He's a huge part of my life despite being in another country and we speak via skype pretty much every day We're both still in education but once we both have financial independance then yeah we won't have to be long distance anymore, so it doesn't feel like it's stuck like this forever. It's just now as we're both young it's not really easy. I miss him like crazy when we're apart and sob like a baby when I leave at Copenhagen airport or when he leaves from Heathrow but it's worth all that because he's amazing to me Link to comment
Lisa_Lisa Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I am not sure it works like that - you cant help who you fall in love with. If that person happens to live 4000 miles away, you have no choice, and hopefully, in most cases, its not always going to be just a long distance thing. Link to comment
20 One Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I am in an LDR with a woman 450 miles away. It works out to about a 7 hour drive accross one international border. Is it difficult? You bet. Is it managebale? Yep! We didn't choose to have emotions for each other, it really just happened through World of Warcraft. We started talking, really enjoyed each others company, progressed to pictures, eventually web cam sessions, eventually phone conversations, and we meet up whenever we can in real life. We've got plans to live together eventually - and thats really what keeps us together beyond the day-to-day emotions. We know we're working towards a goal we both desire, and we take solice in knowing that day will come soon! Until then, we enjoy each other as much as we can and make the best of our situation. I will say the times we do get together are fantastic! Given our life circumstances (graduating university, etc), it's probably best we're in an LDR to allow us enough space to get our priorities finished. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I dont think anyone 'chooses' to be in a LDR. But as another poster said, you can't really help who you fall in love with and if distance is the only thing stopping you from being with someone if you have a will to make it work it can work. Link to comment
hayky3126 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 My long distance relationship happened after the guy I had been seeing exclusively for a year left for the CG. We spoke about how we understood it was going to be hard to keep the relationship running strong but we would see how we felt. Well i dont like being away from him but i would much rather be away and know our relationship is still going forward even if we are miles apart. Its def. hard and sometimes it would be easier to give up, but when you love someone... well everything changes! Link to comment
sm0kez Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Usually I'd tell people to avoid them at all costs, but sometimes it can't be helped and modern technology accommodates LDR to a certain extent. It does take very good communication and equal desire on both sides. Healthy individual lives as well as including each other by talking things out, that sort of thing. I met the guy I fell for on MySpace (haha) he contacted me and we lived just 10 minutes apart but I didn't want to meet (didn't like him in that way). We began gaming together lots, MSN talks and eventually Skype talking, he was mad about me 90% of all that time. Eventually after two years I began liking him back, but he got deported to HK so the LDR couldn't be helped. Things are a mess now, though. Link to comment
Firiel Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 My boyfriend and I became friends online, and he started to have a crush on me, especially after we actually met in person to hang out (he drove seven hours to see me!). I have never in my whole life been able to talk to anyone like I can talk to him. Eventually I started to have a crush on him too. I guess I could have decided that the distance would make things too difficult. But I knew that if I tried to date guys close by, I'd be thinking of him. I'm so glad I'm with him. Talking to him on the phone is way better than going on a date to a restaurant with anyone else. Link to comment
anggrace Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I didn't intend for it to turn in to a relationship. He was in a bad place/situation, and I just wanted to be there for him. I had a strong desire to help him get through it and didn't care if it lead to anything. Now we're married. I have to say that a LOT of good came from the experience. 1: It taught me patience, in a major way. There's no instant gradification in an LDR 2: Our relationship did not revolve around the issue of sex. We simply couldn't have it. 3: Trust. It was/is all or nothing. The stress of distance was enough and we knew if we couldn't completely trust eachother, it would be too much. In a way I was forced to put it all on the line for our relationship. It was scary, but turned out to be a great feeling. 4: Distance is to communication what primer is to paint. It was good for us and prepared us for the easier part, communicating in person. Overall. It was a great learning experience and Id do it all over. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I chose it because we knew each other very well for many years (and had dated in the past) and both had very serious intentions for the relationship and to live in the same city. Also we knew we would be able to see each other about every 10 days, which isn't bad, and that we would be in the same city for at least 3 months out of the year. Otherwise I would not have. It all worked out great - it is 3.5 years later and we are married and have a beautiful little boy - I will move to his city in the next few months, but, since last month he is living with me in my city 90% of the time which will be 100% in one month. I think the keys were - we knew each other very well, we were on the same page from day one (serious, exclusive, marriage minded), we could afford to fly to see each other frequently and we were older (late 30s when we started dating again). Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I have never had a LDR and I'm just curious as to why anyone would choose to have one. I can maybe see it if you two are together and one goes away to college or something. My question is: What made you decide to be involved in a LDR? Do you feel like you are getting enough out of the LDR? We both went to separate colleges. And yes, I love our relationship. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 That was exactly how it happened with me and my boyfriend. We were together for 6 months, 10 minutes apart and seeing eachother everyday and night! Then college came. We go in the same state, but I'm local. I go to a community college 25 minutes away from my house, and he goes to Texas Tech in Lubbock which is 5 hrs away. It's not soo bad though. We're doing just fine. He comes back every 2 weeks for the weekend and we have long breaks of course. 1 month for x-mas, a week for Thanksgiving, a week for spring break, and 4 months for summer! during that time we see eachother every day and night. We've been together over a year, and when I get my AA I'll be transfering to his school and move in with him. If you're already with that person and you fall in love, and you know this is the person you want to be with, why not stay with them even if it means putting up with a little bit of distance? Link to comment
xSerendipityx Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I am currently in a LDR and I hate the distance (little over 1000 miles) but I am head over heels for the guy. I wasn't looking for love but it found me and I am quite happy it did. Him and I became friends over the net via mmorpg. He eventually became my best friend and now my boyfriend. We have only been dating for about 4 months, but have been best friends going on a yr and a half or so. I can talk to him about anything and everything. He knows me inside and out. We have spent time together IRL and we have made plans to move in together as soon as I can get what I need to get done here. I can't wait until that day comes! LDR can work if you make it work and I believe it only works temporarily before the constant physical need meter goes haywire. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I have never had a LDR and I'm just curious as to why anyone would choose to have one. I can maybe see it if you two are together and one goes away to college or something. My question is: What made you decide to be involved in a LDR? Do you feel like you are getting enough out of the LDR? Never been in one either. I can definitly think of a few reasons someone would choose to be in one. I know of few people who stay completely faithfull though. I have a male friend for instance who has been with his LDR gf for 3years now I think? They've been together "Face to face" for 6 months in total, maybe a bit more. She's living abroad due to her education and they see each other every few months if they're lucky. Maybe twice a year. He chooses to be with her b.c he feels there's no one else he'd be compatible with - or able to tolerate. He can see himself with her in 10 yrs time. They get along really well. So he's willing to go thru these few years long distance to sort of wait for her, and vice versa. Has he been faithfull? Er.. not so much. Not until she's here living with him. Kinda sad but it's their problem I guess. Link to comment
Fourmiz Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 We didn't choose to be in a LDR... We worked in the same building for a while. When we started to get to know eachother, I found out that he was going to be leaving in about a month. It made me very hesitant about starting a relationship with him. But it just happened and I'm very very happy it did =) It is difficult at times. We talk on the phone, email, send letters and it never seems like enough. But it's completely worth it. He loves me and I love him and that's what keeps us going. Thankfully the distance will be over soon! I can't wait! =) Link to comment
aymee_lee Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 We didn't choose LD. We met while on holiday in another country but lived a 12 hour drive from each other. I was moving near him anyway, so I guess we knew our LDR would only be short term, but he's in the forces so it continues to be LD in some respects. LDR are HARD and take a lot of work. Knowing they will eventually stop being LD makes it a lot easier. Link to comment
Tori1188 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 My boyfriend and I met while he was on the road, I was immediately attracted to him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I couldn't wait to talk to him again. I thought it'd be stupid to commit to someone who'd be on the road all the time, but I just wanted him. Luckily he just wanted me too. We talked every single day, texted all day long, pictures, email, letters, boxes, anything to make us feel close and to bond over. Almost 2 years later we're still together, he's home and we're very happy. I think it's just something that you've both gotta want equally as much. Link to comment
TMetal Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Like me say the same thing I told me now ex gf of almost three years, =( , Us meeting was fate, us becoming friends was my choice, me falling in love with you I had no control over. I think that in the end it just happens. Oh and I don't believe in physical distances. Physical distance does not compare to emotional distance. Link to comment
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