missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i go to bed every night crying, i wake up ever morning crying, my heart hurts, all i think is him and all the happy times we were together, i want to hate him to move on from him as he has done but my love for him is still to strong, how can someone just stop loving you?. its been a few weeks since he ended it, during this time i feel like a loser as iv called and texted him to get him back telling him we can get through this, it always ends with him yelling saying things that i should hate him for yet im thinking yea his just angry he'll get over it, but it doesnt look like thats gonna happen. i told him a week ago that ill always love him, so im going to leave him on the hope if he loved me he'll be back, still crying i called him as i needed to hear his voice, that ended up with him yelling (he never yelled in the 18months). friday i called to say if i cant have you, i dont want you, that i need to act like a adult, with a few laughs HE ended up telling me he doesnt want to loss me that MAYBE later will get back together, but just for now lets just be friends, that made me so happy that he said maybe. as always that happyness goes to * * * * , he told me last night that i should just * * * * off from his life that, ill find someone soon, if i dont stop texting he'll change his number (i dont think im that bad). again i cryed and said bye i deserve somone that will treat me better, yet late last night he calls me to say why i deleted him off facebook, it was my first time where i told him to * * * * off, that he hurt me, and i put my phone off. (i think cose i was drunk at i did time) today i havent made contact, and will not. been thinking to much it hurts. im here cose a friend told me about this site, iv talked to all my friends and family, and i feel im putting there moods down cose im crying that im not that happy chick any more. any comments most welcome Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I hope you find peace and happiness once again in your good time. There are other members better able to advise you than I .I wish you well. tb May I ask why you broke up? Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 hey top block, the main reason would be that his indian, the Culture differents, i couldnt live with him, he has to be in arranged marriage, plus when he talked to his mates i felt that they were talking about me (he would not teach me his language). another reason would be that we were fighting due to him being jealous, and that i didnt understand him and his family. i know he loves me still, its hard that i havent heard it Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Indian culture is very steeped in tradtion. However nice he was I feel he had an idea all along how it was going to end. It seems his thinking is not in line with mainstream... do you feel now that he was leading you on ? Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Unfortunately some men from certain cultures look down on other cultures women as less human. They like to seduce lie ,pleasure and then abandon to go back to their higher self perceived culture status. Your ex sounds like one of these people...now hes acting ashamed of you as well. He is a sorry excuse of a man. So too are all men who act in this manner. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Unfortunately some men from certain cultures look down on other cultures women as less human. They like to seduce lie ,pleasure and then abandon to go back to their higher self perceived culture status. Your ex sounds like one of these people...now hes acting ashamed of you as well. He is a sorry excuse of a man. So too are all men who act in this manner. I'm afraid I have to agree here. I think he'd probably planned this for a while as the comments about 'maybe' in the future and 'just stay friends' seem a little like fobbing you off so you'll not get your hopes up. Unfortunately it got them up a bit too much. It will help to stop the pain of texting, feeling bad about it, torturing yourself about a reply and then analysing the words in the reply (if there is any) by just stopping contact for a while. This will (as many wiser than me on this site say) give you some time to heal. Good luck and take care. Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 i never thought he was leading me on, he loved me, i was his first love, and he was mine, the first person i said i love you to and meaning it. he did tell his parents once at the beginning and they stoped talking to him for over a months. he ended up telling them he said the wronge thing was not meaning he has gf (that hurts still 2day). he was the nicest bf, he was a gentleman and he did treat me like a princess. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Where you aware from the beginning that he would never marry you, no matter how much he loved you? Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i never thought he was leading me on, he loved me, i was his first love, and he was mine, the first person i said i love you to and meaning it. he did tell his parents once at the beginning and they stoped talking to him for over a months. he ended up telling them he said the wronge thing was not meaning he has gf (that hurts still 2day). he was the nicest bf, he was a gentleman and he did treat me like a princess. It's harder to move on when you are someone's first love, I know. When he has had to make a choice, he seems to have chosen his parents over you. Maybe they have given him some kind of an (unfair) ultimatum, or maybe he is (coldly) thinking that in the long term, you and his culture are incompatible. The reality check is that we always look back to the best things we did together, but if it was still working you would still be together. It's much harder being the dumpee as he was more prepared for this than you, but it certainly doesn't sound like he treated you like a princess if there were so many problems with him being bad mannered in front of friends etc. Hang in there, pull back and I'm sure you'll start to see it a bit differently in time - you deserve someone who will love and care for you as you are. Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 we always new it would be hard but we though that love would win through all this, that we could prove to all that we loved each other. its just past 10pm and he hasnt called or text i wonder when he does, he told me that "why are you saying byee, your all talk, youll call in a few days for sure", in away thats what is stoping me, to prove to him. all my friends loved him, my family loved him, i still grrr love him. we were looking for our future ring. i cant imagen him being with another girl, and im missing sex, his hugs, the way he said he loved me, our special song we would sing, the way he looked at me Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 i really cant c anyone else but him, i really want him back Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i really cant c anyone else but him, i really want him back This guy denied you to his own mother and father. Hes probably a lovable guy but not genuine. He was nice for himself while he was getting what he wanted.. He should have ended it the day he realised that his parents and their culture came above you. Yes it hurts now but time is the best analgesic...so my advice is cut him off and maybe have a chat to a cousellor to get some healing started Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 wow thank you so much top bloke, its hard to hear yet true. oh but yet still love him and want him back. i dont c that happening in reality. the mate who gave me this site has been helping lots, telling me what the xbf maybe going through, that it would be hard on him to, cose all im thinking is me me me me all about me Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Getting close is nice....being apart is a must sometimes even though it can hurt... I must go to bed now its 1245am..ill reply again tomoorow Link to comment
missminna Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 day 2 im not gonna to call him today. i went 2 his myspace page and his invited a girl on his list and she lives in his area, it * * * * s me cose thats where we meet and since me he has never been on that site. i should not have looked cose i cryed to much last night, the thought of him with another girl kills me, he ended up talking to her yesterday the day i didnt call him, the day im finding it hard not to, the day i still love him. i still wonder when he'll call me and when he does what will he say. iv looked at my phone last night reading all his sms's and understand now that it was gonna end anyway (at the time just thinking they were just fights, that we will make it right), i thinking yea its been 18mths but it better end now then later. when i full in love again iv been thinking how i can be a better gf, but by saying that its making me a really mean person to men, im scared. i think that his could happen again. i wanna be loved its a great feeling. i prayed to god last night, i prayed to make this pain go away. is this ment to happen so i become a better lover, that someone else is out there for me and my past was to build me up for this special person or to make me a better lover when my xbf comes back to me. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 When you meet someone right for you ..you will appreciate someone who really wants you so much more. Link to comment
missminna Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 day 3 he called last night crying. i didnt, he hurt me so much theres no feeling anymore yet he didnt call or text today i again thinking to much, mayb he wants me back, if so how can it be the same. could it work. he said he cant c his life without me buuuut can i now. a full month of fighting for him hurt me as he didnt want me at that stage help? Link to comment
top bloke Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 At night when he missed your womanly warmth he called you. If he wanted you he would have never denied you but would have stuck with you. He turned his back to you...Id say last night was a knee jerk reaction... Link to comment
missminna Posted April 2, 2009 Author Share Posted April 2, 2009 wow today is a new start. yes love him, but him pushing me away i think is working. i today dont think i want him back, yes we will miss each other, but guess what IM OVER IT ALL, IM MOVING ON, AND IM HAPPY, well till he calls again. grrr Link to comment
top bloke Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Just keep it all in perspective. His behaviour was inexcusable. Link to comment
Pixiedoc Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 wow today is a new start. yes love him, but him pushing me away i think is working. i today dont think i want him back, yes we will miss each other, but guess what IM OVER IT ALL, IM MOVING ON, AND IM HAPPY, well till he calls again. grrr This is really good and shows you are getting it all in perspective and can be by yourself and be o.k. It may not last, or feel the same each day (good days and bad days) but truly if a relationship is going to last you have to feel the same about each other. If you are more in control over contact (whether to answer the phone or the words that you use in texts or even not to respond) you will get stronger. Truly, you deserve more and you have a wonderful future ahead of you. Link to comment
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