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Yeaa I should just move on, but its not that simple it never is


Seabreeze

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I apologize in advance at the length of this post, but it’s the only way I can explain everything since it has been a long road.

 

Let me start of by saying you don’t need to tell me because I already know…the best thing to do is to just move on, but I would like some feedback. I am one of those people that give advice, but can never take it even from myself.

I never thought I would be in this position, but here is how is all starts you guys can read on and tell me exactly how pathedic I have become.

 

About 6 years ago I started dating this girl my senior year of high school. I guess you could say it was my first "real

 

relationship". She was actually attending her first year of college at the time. Well you know how the story goes before

 

we knew it we were inseparable we spent all our free time together. For some odd reason she didnt have many friends

 

(perhaps it was because of her insecurity issues) so we would usually hang out with my friends. After about a year

 

once we were passed the honeymoon stage we had many fights usually about nothing, but they were never really

 

resolved problems because I didnt like to deal with any of them. Many of the fights we actually ended up braking up

 

but before you know it we would be back together the next week. I mean I usually had a F**k it mentality if your not

 

happy just go, but I was young and naive and didnt know the meaning of compromising. At that time she would never

 

let me go because I was all she had and before you knew it the years went by. Not much changed I gave up many of

 

my friends or the time I use to spend with my friends and we spent almost all our free time together. Well the years

 

went by and we were about to face our biggest challenge yet... We broke up the spring of 08'...the reason I cannot

 

even tell you probably something small that was made into something big...nothing serious. However this was our

 

longest break up ever...It had been a month and I met someone I was sorta interested in and I was very busy with

 

school and work. She also started dating someone shortly after, but that didnt really work out. Well it had been about 3

 

months since we broke up and then I starting thinking about how much I missed her. So I called her and asked her out

 

for lunch and then we talked and I told her how much I missed her and I still loved her. She seemed stunned, but a

 

little hesitant. At the time she was actually talking to some guy she met on the internet (on Xbox live ironic that I

 

bought her that Xbox to keep her entertained) and she would text him throughout the day. He actually lived in another

 

state and they were talking about meeting up. I expressed to her how much I wanted to get back together with her,

 

but she would not hear it. I was actually very persistent and engaged in borderline stalking activity ( yes, I know im

 

not proud of it). Well she didnt listen to me and at the time I was actually about to leave on vacation for 2 weeks for a

 

trip I had planned out with my friends. She didnt listen to me and ended up meeting up with this guy. Well we all know

 

what happened there. Well I came back from vacation and she was actually the one to pick me up from the airport.

 

She quit her job at the time and had a lot of free time and I had another 2 weeks before I started my last semester in

 

college....so its only natural that we started hanging out. I did make a big deal out of her going to see that guy and

 

told her that I felt like she choose him over me, but after hanging out every day for the next 2 weeks we were back

 

together like nothing ever happened. One of the problems we had before in our relationship was she always wanted

 

more commitment, like a ring, but I never wanted to go that far....well we started talking and I said maybe I can see

 

that in the future and we also started talking about moving in as well which I said I could live with. Now that could

 

have been our happy ending right there...but its not even close. Like I said before she quit her job and had a hard time

 

finding a new one then she picked up smoking and started playing video games all day when I am not around. Now I

 

tried to get her to quit smoking and to stop playing video games all day but she didnt like that too much. Well one day

 

I was heading home after a night out at the bar with some friends and I told her I was coming over, but she told me

 

not too just to go home. Then she said I was annoying her and before you knew it we were fighting about nothing.

 

Well I thought she was the one that was wrong so I decided not to talk to her for some time and was waiting for her

 

to call me...not the best way to handle things. So after 1 week I headed over her house and she said she did not want

 

to see me anymore and things are just not working. I am very persistent so I spoke to her numerous times, but she

 

just doesnt want to do it anymore she says...and thats where I am to date. I just dont get it...how do you go from

 

when are you getting me that ring to im done. I guess thats just the way it goes. I mean I have tried dating other girls

 

while we were apart, but I guess I have just gotten way too attached to her after alllll the years that I just dont want

 

to let go.

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I didn't notice many positives in your relationship from your post. I know leaving a 6 yr relationship is hard and scarey, but do you really want the relationship back, or are you just scared of not having it anymore? Really think about this. You've been with her since high school...

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Thats a great thought...I mean when you build a relationship for that long its hard to just throw it all away. As far as the positives...well we both want the same things for the future and we have fun being around each other constantly which is something I cannot do with other girls. I think we just have a problem communicating sometimes and us both being very stubborn does not help.

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About you being attached point you made...it sucks doesn't it? Trust me, I knew the feeling towards the end of the last year. It'll get better. I wasn't in a 6 year relationship, so that attachment I can imagine was and is far more than what I had to overcome. Just concentrate on other things, NOT her. Changing your mind when she comes up. Putting the stuff that reminds you of her away somewhere so that you won't look. Those things really do make a difference.

 

I don't know what else to say, besides I'm here if you need anything, whether that be support or advice. Too many things for you to find and experience in life that are entirely more important than a woman thats not your girlfriend anymore, and the sooner you realize it and actually start to wholeheartedly believe it, the better off you'll be.

 

To your title of your thread: It really isn't. But you'll get there with time, and its a hell of a lot better when you do, because you'll feel you have your life back, along with things you may have lost through unintentional behavior after things went sour, like your pride, integrity, masculinity, etc.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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