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ugh. still can't tell if he's interested in actually ME. help.


beccamalibu

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i've been hanging out/ hooking up w/ this guy on the weekends. fri night he was rly nice and even picked my drunk ass from the club and hung out w/ me. we didn't even do anything, just kissed, then he took me home after a party. so sat night i figure its cool to hit him up and see if anythings going on. so i text him asking what he is up to and he just replies with the name of the bar. i dont know, i guess i just felt kind of bummed that he didnt invite me or anything. so i let it go didnt reply and he never hit me up. so now im wondering, since we have never really hung out sober or during the week, if it would be alright and not look desperate or dumb or anything if i hit him up in a few days or something during the week, and say something like we never hang out sober, do you wanna come over and hang out, watch a movie or something? and if that is ok to say, how would i even say it without sounding like i want him. yes i know i suck at flirting and guys all advice i needed!

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so you guys really don't think i will sound desperate by casually asking to hang out one on one during the week? even after his rude text of not even asking me to come to the bar or inviting me. like i guess he could have ignored the text all together, but still, i have been over analyzing everything because i really like this guy.

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so you guys really don't think i will sound desperate by casually asking to hang out one on one during the week? even after his rude text of not even asking me to come to the bar or inviting me. like i guess he could have ignored the text all together, but still, i have been over analyzing everything because i really like this guy.

 

No...I don't think you'll sound desperate. It's the only way to tell if he's really into you.

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I'd assume "she's just not that into you" pretty fast if I'd try to contact a girl a couple of times over a week's timespan without her getting back to me. Especially after just a few nights out. Games do backfire. Then again, what do I know.

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so you guys really don't think i will sound desperate by casually asking to hang out one on one during the week? even after his rude text of not even asking me to come to the bar or inviting me. like i guess he could have ignored the text all together, but still, i have been over analyzing everything because i really like this guy.

 

No, hun. Rude would be "I'm busy, go away." He told you where he is, and gave you the option of joining him, without obligating you by inviting you. If he invited you to the bar it would be like "he invited me, so I'll look like a B if I don't accept it". I'd say giving you the name of the bar is the most chill no pressure response he could have given you, and you're overcriticizing and judging him, which is already an indication that your relationship would not work out if you went out.

 

He might be into you, but what's ruining that is NOT the fact that you aren't playing enough games, it's the fact that you're already judging him and criticizing him, in an early stage of meeting him, regardless of him having done more nice things for you than you have for him.

 

My two and a half cents.

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Are you actually interested in HIM? If you want to watch a movie with him and are asking all of these questions, doesn't that signify that you're still in the stage of meeting him where you don't know who HIM is yet? and he doesn't know YOU. How can you ask if he's interested in YOU if he doesn't know you yet?

 

He might just turn out to be a guy who's only into going around bars or playing pool with friends. In that case, I don't think it would be too great of a loss if he rejected you. With different kinds of first impressions, but you still being the same people, at this point you might even be one to reject him. Like if he looked insecure when you first met.

 

Just saying, it's not that big of a deal.

 

I'd go for humor over cuteness. Example: You're talking with him on the phone while he's with friends, he says something to them, then you're like: "Aren't you gonna brag to them about this cute girl whose pants you're gonna attempt to score with tonight under the guise of watching....*mutters* what was that movie i rented". Confidence is a universal turn-on. If you're confident, flirty, playful, and funny, it's a good combination of traits to keep guys OR girls interested.

 

Sometimes it's okay to just say "look, I don't have much planned for tonight, let's just order a pizza, play wii and fall asleep thinking about how men and women can still look at the same stars even though we're from different planets"

 

He's a guy though, guys take charge most of the time, see what he does if you let him make plans for the two of you. If he doesn't take charge, either you can take charge, or find another man who takes charge.

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