Pr0vocative Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 How do you know if a guy just wants sex? I'm feeling rather confused Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 The entire relationship is based on sex... He never takes you out anywhere... He doesn't introduce you to his family or friends... He only comes around when he wants sex... He usually leaves right after... Right off the top of my head, those are a few things I can think of...... Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 You don't give it to him and see if he still calls you. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Just stop and think. If you havent' had sex yet..whats going on? Is he taken you out, are you building a relationship, there's no pressure for sex, etc. If you have slept together, well what else are you guys doing? Is he taking you out, is he bringing you around friends, family, making you a part of his daily life, calling you and saying he has a good time when sex isn't involved? Or does he only want to see you and have sex? Basically..take the sex away and what's left? Is there a good healthy relationship that isn't focused around sex, that has substance and room for growth and a commitment from both parties to have a relationship that isn't bedroom focused. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 How do you know if a guy just wants sex? I'm feeling rather confused Don't have sex with them so quickly. Wait until the guy wants to be in an official relationship with you...in other words, that could take a couple of months or more. If the guy bolts because you are not interested in having sex outside of an official relationship then chances are he was just looking for sex. Link to comment
Pr0vocative Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 And what about outside of a relationship basis? What if you're getting to know a guy. How do you tell then Yes, I'm pretty sure not sleeping with them would work but you're missing out on intamicy??? I don't have very loose morals and do wait I wonder is there anyway to avoid any upset before you get to this point? You could really like a guy and he could just want sex. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 How much intimacy can there be if you don't know whether or not he's just there for sex or if he actually has more of an interest in you? Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Is this kind of intimacy really that important outside of a relationship? If the physical stuff is coming, can a commitment not come as well? Wait for the commitment first, then get physical. If a guy is into you, he'd be willing to commit because he wants a relationship, not just in your pants. If a guy just wants sex, then he's not going to bother with a relationship. He will get what he wants and move on..so really..if you're not giving him the sex, then he will move on. Push for the relationship, make the relationship happen. Intimacy can come in ways other than sex. Link to comment
Pr0vocative Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 Wow, very insightful. Thanks you're both very wise =] I just haven't thought of it like that I just saw it as I'm going down a forked path one way he wants comittment the other he just wants sex. All I have to do is ask. He spends hours talking to me and texting me I'm scared of asking him what he wants =P Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Wow, very insightful. Thanks you're both very wise =] I just haven't thought of it like that I just saw it as I'm going down a forked path one way he wants comittment the other he just wants sex. All I have to do is ask. He spends hours talking to me and texting me I'm scared of asking him what he wants =P Don't be scared...you need to know. But remember one thing...actions speak lounder than words. Link to comment
Pr0vocative Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 Don't be scared...you need to know. But remember one thing...actions speak lounder than words. How do you mean? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 He can say one thing but do another. If he says he wants a relationship but his actions are that he just wants sex, beware. I'm not trying to make you paranoid...just watch his actions. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 A guy who just wants sex probablly isn't going to just come out and admit it. If he did, he knows his chance of getting it would be ruined. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 A guy who just wants sex probablly isn't going to just come out and admit it. If he did, he knows his chance of getting it would be ruined. Exactly....that's why I said to watch his actions. Link to comment
urbanmiller Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 how about when you first meet a guy that you would like to date? is there any way of knowing, before you waste time/energy, that he is just interested in sex or interested in also possibly pursuing a relationship? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 how about when you first meet a guy that you would like to date? is there any way of knowing, before you waste time/energy, that he is just interested in sex or interested in also possibly pursuing a relationship? No....not really. You just have to wait and see and be careful. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Nope, you have to put the energy into it. Link to comment
grymoire Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 How do you know if a guy just wants sex? I'm feeling rather confused he will be a male Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 he will be a male roflmao! ......... Link to comment
urbanmiller Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 blah. i hate putting all the time, energy, and wasted excitement into meeting a guy who just bails when he realizes he isn't going to get any. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 blah. i hate putting all the time, energy, and wasted excitement into meeting a guy who just bails when he realizes he isn't going to get any. Yeah, but there's always that one guy who will stick around. Life is like a game of risk....you have to take some chances. Link to comment
anggrace Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 he will be a male Oh man... that's funny. heh. Not true for all guys, of coarse. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 he will be a male Yes, and another test is to hold a mirror under his nose. If the mirror fogs, he wants sex. Seriously, there's no way to tell for some time if a guy is just waiting around or using you for sex, you have to get to know them, but generally, if you feel things are moving really fast just after meeting someone, and you feel carried away by impulsive emotion caused by his patter, there's a pretty good chance you have found a guy who with an agenda to get you in bed fast. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 It's simple. Never sleep with a guy early on unless you have already told yourself that if he runs away you are prepared to deal with it. Some guys are pretty darn good at making you think they want the world with you and then sleep with you and scram. It is a redflag if they are promising a lot of stuff too soon to begin with. But if everything seems like it is going well just know that if you choose to have sex within that first month that there is always a chance that he might not call ... hate to sound that way but some guys are pretty smooth and there are no tell tale signs that this is what he was after. If you have sex, do it because you WANTED to have sex that day, not because you believe you will have a strong relationship. I think this is the best route for women to take - have sex only when you really WANT to and because you want to and not just to cement the relationship. That in itself has its own flaws too. For every man who just wanted sex there is a woman somewhere who only had sex to somehow make the relationship 'better' or catch her fish (not saying this describes you as i don't know you, or that it even describes most women, just that they are out there) If it wree me i would make sure i had some conversations before sex so that i knew we were exclusive and I knew that we were an actual couple and not just dating each other casually. If i just happened to WANT sex anyway then i'd go ahead and do it but realize that i didn't get any type of commitment for anything after the act. Link to comment
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