longdist123 Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 I've posted a few times, so some of you are probably familiar with this. Basically, my girlfriend is studying abroad, and after about a month of disagreements over our status, we broke up, intending to get back together when she gets back. I didn't want this, but she did, and now shes with another guy there. It drives me nuts, picturing her with him makes me sick and I don't know what to do. I don't have any desire to be with another girl, I just think about her whenever I see other girls.. I don't know how I'm going to handle this when she gets back. Idk what I'm looking for from this post, I just need some help dealing with this because if I don't I'm going to continue to want to die. Thankss Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 There's nothing magical you can do to make the hurt go away. Make a conscience decision that when these thoughts pop in your head you think of something else. Time is probably the only thing that is going to help. Also, remember, your imagination is probably worse than reality. Link to comment
longdist123 Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 Yeah, you're probably right. The other thing is I don't know how easy it's going to be for me to handle being with her again, I'm wondering if this is going to continue when she gets back. I feel like every time I'm with her I'm going to think about what she might have done.. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Don't concentrate on what's going to happen when she gets back. You don't know how you're going to feel at that time so there's no use in worrying about it. You'll deal with it when it gets here. Link to comment
pinkrobot Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Okay, let's see how well I can remember this...she's gone for the semester and wanted a break, and kissed another guy after the break was initiated. Correct? While it's unfortunate that after a year of being with you, she couldn't survive a few months long-distance, I'm curious if she's possibly a very affectionate person? I'm wondering if she began to get lonely, and thought that taking a break and finding someone to fulfill her need for affection while she's gone would solve the problem. I'm not justifying her actions if that's the case, but it might be an explanation at least. I agree, don't try and make sense of it all right now. Respect her wishes and focus on yourself for now, and when she comes back if you really feel in your heart that you want to work it out, then is the time to ask questions and get answers. But it sounds like she has her mind made up, and trying to change that might only push her farther away. Link to comment
longdist123 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 thanks pinkrobot and rivercity, that helped me a bit. Link to comment
Jnyce2010 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 thanks rivercitystein, thats what i did.... I waited and I actually decided recently to end my relationship OF 3.5 years as a result of our break...I found that my feelings have changed and I'd much rather spend my 20's playing the field..lol (londist123 I don't know how old you are, but enjoy yourself, you don't get these years back...) Link to comment
longdist123 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 i wish it were that easy. Link to comment
alice1485 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Why is she with a another guy if she intends on getting back together with you? I mean, I know the definition of a break. But the whole thing just seems really stupid to me. I don't know if you guys are in love. But if you are, why is she hanging around with other guys...? My bf and I are in a long distance relationship right now and the possibility of breaking up over distance came up a couple times. We're very in love so I'm against it because I don't want to lose him. He, on the other hand, isn't. I told him it's an excuse for him to sleep with other girls....that comment didn't make him too happy, but I think it's true. Link to comment
longdist123 Posted March 31, 2009 Author Share Posted March 31, 2009 She said she doesn't feel like we're in a relationship because we're so far away from each other, and that if our love is strong enough we should be able to be with other people and get back together when she gets back. She doesn't understand why it hurts me so much and thinks its not a big deal. Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 All you can do is forget about her...at least for now. She's with someone else. She's obviously not thinking about you. The best thing you can do is forget her and get on with your life. Go out with your friends. Start dating again. You'd be amazed how that helps. She's being supported by someone else's affection right now. Why should you be home, feeling dejected and miserable. If you find someone else - great! If you just date a few women and have fun - great! Right now, you're letting her have all of the power and options, and have limited yourself to none. Get it back. When she returns, you'll have an entirely different perspective on her and whether YOU want to get back together. This "relationship" isn't just about HER. This is your life, and you need to take care of yourself. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.