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Ok, now I'm just confused


jessikate
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For those who have read my last posting entitled "this is so hard", here's an update. I'd really appreciate any comments or advice!

As you know, I was dumped for no reason. Our relationship was good, no fights, always had fun, good times... anyways he decided it was over. So the last I heard from him was a phone call asking if I was doing ok, etc... I didn't hear from him for about a week and a half after that. Well, the other day I got an email. This is literally what it said...

"Hi, dork. I hope things are going well. Wanna catch a flick next week? If so let me know."

That's it. Now I'm overwhelmed by all these emotions of hope, and then at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up. Lord knows I don't need another heartbreak. I don't think I could handle another one at this point. (as I just found out my mom may have lymphoma... ) But at the same time, I know myself. If I don't go, I'll drive myself crazy wondering what "would have" happened. I already emailed him back saying I would go... but I suppose backing out at the last minute is an option, as lame as that is. So that leaves me where I am now. Confused, tired, hopeful, doubtful, irritated. Why am I letting this guy get to me so much? AHHH!! Please advise. So far the only thing I can come up with is to hide under a bridge somewhere and never come out.

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Am I misunderstanding something? Why would you want to go out with someone who just called you a dork? Doesn't that kind of treatment already tell you something about him?? I understand your hurt, but he's just messing with you and my objective opinion is to dump him before you get played again.

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OH... no no.. he didn't mean it like that. We call each other dork and whatnot... Believe me, if he meant it to hurt me I'd hurt him back.

But that's why I'm confused. It's as if nothing ever happened. Like, "everything's ok, we're going to the movies like we usually do". Oh my goodness, the last thing I want to do is go out with someone that's mean! That's the problem, though. He's such a wonderful person that the thought of losing someone like him not only eats away at my heart, it makes me feel like I'll never find anyone like him again. In fact, I don't even want to.

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Hmmm... in that case, I would want to see him again, but not as if nothing happened. I would want to talk to him and ask him what happened and hear his explanation. He can't just treat you like that and make it seem like nothing happened to warrant the change/abandonment. Before things can be back the way they were you need to know what the issues were.

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Yes, go to the movie with him, and then ask him what happened, if he has a legit excuse, then you could consider continuing the relationship, but if he is just going out with you because he feels guilty for what he did, and is just trying to feel good about himself by throwing you a bone, well just tell him, without any argument, ¨Thanks for the movie, but you know, after our breakup i realize that we werent meant for each other, and dont think we should continue seeing each other¨ youll be turning the tables, plus he could be seeing someone else and just wants to have you as a back'up, your a better person than that.

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I just want to thank you all. Even if this whole thing doesn't work out, you have all made me feel so much better and made this yucky time in my life a little easier. It's also nice to know that there's other people out there feeling the same way I am... like I'm not alone. (hence, "enotalone"... duh) So thanks, again. I'll keep you all posted. I'm sure I'll need more feedback at some point!

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