How can they expect

[yellowcal]

things to go back to the way things were before you met and dated like nothing ever happened. Back to being friends like you never cared for each other. Is it because it was never a big deal to them or is it their way of "dealing"? We didn't have a bitter break up, simply both just went our own ways. We had a wedding planned out but decided now just isn't the time. But i'm not ready to be "just friends" yet. He is still a part of me but he doesn't understand. Do guys see it differently than girls? Am I supposed to just forget we were ever together and go on like it never happened?

[Dragunov-21]

I think that sometimes the person who initiated a breakup and wants to still be friends forgets that the other person's feeling mightn't have changed a much as theirs - they may want to be friends, but forget that their partner might not have wanted to just "go back".

 

I think it's impossible to ignore all that history, I'm very close friends with my ex, and the fact that we loved each other definitely makes us closer (she had to move away, so it's probably not applicable to most circumstances, but still)...

 

You ok?

[High5girl]

It's never easy to just wipe the slate clean and pretend it didn't happen.

Some ppl can do it, others can't.

Your ex needs to understand/respect that you're just not ready and that a friendship will NEVER work unless both parties are over each other. Usually this takes time. If he can't understand, then perhaps you both should reconsider a friendship right now. Being friends with an ex after a break up does not help with the healing process even if you both decided the break up was for the better.

[yellowcal]

We have been down this road before. We have dated before, went through a mutual breakup and then eventually got back together and that lead us to where we are now. We didn't break up on bad terms, it was a mutual thing that we both sat down and talked about our biggest issues were location and financial issues and instead of putting a strain on a marriage we decided to put off the marriage until later on (Possibly) well after that we both decided that maybe we should take a break from each other. Well it's been not even a month and he calls me every day and texts me asking me how i'm doing, if I need anything or so on being friendly and when I tell him that we can't just be "friends" at this point he gets upset and tells me he has lost me as his future wife please don't let him lose me as his friend. I just can't do it at this point. This is more or less just a rant or vent. *sigh*

[Dragunov-21]

For sure... Just out of interest, do you still think you should be on break? Have you considered getting back together?

[yellowcal]

At this point I do think it's beneficial to both of us that we get things straightened out financially and more importantly location wise before we get back together officially.

[Dragunov-21]

Fair enough.

 

I'm sorry things are hard for you atm...