help with moving on

[dman]

Hey every one,

 

Yesterday I broke up with my gf of 8 months due to a few issues we had with each other. Apparently the break up was mutual but yea.

 

I haven't had much experience with moving on as this is my 2nd relationship. So far I've taken most things I have been given from her and put them in a box and put them away.

 

So if you guys have any advice for moving on in general would be great!

[huskiesfan]

Hey dman, welcome to eNA!

 

You've taken a good first step towards moving on. Put the box of stuff in some dusty corner of your house/apt. that you won't go to very often so you won't have to look at it very often.

 

First, take time to process what's happened. A breakup is never easy and people experience a whole set of emotions after a breakup. Don't go around and have a smile on your face if you don't feel like smiling right now, you've just went through a breakup. Best to process what's going on now so it doesn't come crashing down on you later.

 

 

Next , don't contact her. I'm sure you don't have a desire to, but even the strongest of us can falter at times. Talking to her unless you absolutely, absolutely have to will set you back in the healing process because it will uncover feelings you may still have for her. If she contacts you, ignore her for now, unless you absolutely have to respond (if you have to, keep it short and sweet). You'll know when you feel ready to contact her, but until then, its a pandora's box---best not to open it. A good idea would be to put a post on SuperDave71's "No Contact Challenge", to help you with this. And of course, there are many people on eNA willing to lend a ear if you need it.

 

And, get out and do fun stuff! Get your mind off the breakup! There is a time to process and grieve and then there is a time to move on! If you are out having fun and doing stuff to improve yourself, you won't have time to sit and brood on whats happened.

 

I hope these tips helped, they helped me heal after my breakup.

[dman]

yep, im currently in the NC thing with her. Though when we broke up she kinda hinted she wanted to keep contact but I doubt I will for at least a month or two.

 

I've been trying to get out with my mates more lately to distract myself but I'm still thinking over what has occurred. I guess I'm kinda just learning from my last relationship and moving on.

[huskiesfan]

yep, im currently in the NC thing with her. Though when we broke up she kinda hinted she wanted to keep contact but I doubt I will for at least a month or two.

 

I've been trying to get out with my mates more lately to distract myself but I'm still thinking over what has occurred. I guess I'm kinda just learning from my last relationship and moving on.

Yes, contact with an ex is tricky at best.

 

You never know why they want to keep contact with you, but you can avoid the problems by sticking with NC. And don't worry, like I said, it takes time to process and start to get over a breakup.

 

If you just continue to get out and have fun and be yourself, you'll start thinking about it less and less.