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he loves me, he loves me not?


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I saw a similar post but my situation's got an interesting spin on it...I'll try to be brief!


Last December, my boyfriend got arrested (nothing violent or drug-related, blah blah) and upon calling me from jail, he discovered just how upset I was. We had only been dating close to a couple of months at that point. Before we got off the phone, he said this: "I probably shouldn't say this, but I love you." This was the first time he said I love you to me, and yes, I said it back.


Now, it's almost April and he hasn't said "I love you" at all. I haven't said it to him since then because the fact that he said "I probably shouldn't say this" before he said "I love you" is kind of throwing me off. I'd like to believe he meant it when he said it, but there's a part of me that wonders if he just said it that night because I was upset and he didn't know how else to handle it.


So, supposing I accept that theory, how do I go about it from here? I don't want to talk to him about it because I don't want him to start saying it simply because that's what I want...I want him to say it because he means it. So do I just sit around and wait for him to say it again? I have NO idea what to do!


On Valentine's Day he gave me a card that had "I love you" printed inside of it (like, the card came that way), yet he didn't speak the words at all to me. And our relationship is awesome, we don't seem to have any problems or barriers of any kind and we're constantly becoming closer. So...any suggestions?

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do you love him?

if you do, i would just tell him now, when you see him.


I absolutely love him.


My fear is that he said it that way and hasn't said it since...why wouldn't he just keep saying it to me if he had really meant it that night? If I were to tell him now it would feel awkward because I don't know what's going through his head.

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Many men dont speak of their emotions they just translate it thru their actions, seemingly he is doing a good job so you should stop feeding your insecure feelings and just go for gold in the relationship.


My insecure feelings come from the "I probably shouldn't say this" bit before he told me he loved me. Shouldn't that be a little concerning, especially given he hasn't said it since and given the circumstance in which he first said those words?

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I understand that you would like to hear the words again but since you actually feel loved that's a great sign. He just may not be all that comfortable saying it, or maybe he thinks since he said it first the last time, it's your turn. Maybe he thought when you said it back it was a pity "I love you too"

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Maybe he was afraid he'd get killed in jail and wanted to have said it just in case?


Sometimes stressful situations make people jump the gun.


Well, exactly...I wouldn't doubt that it was the stress of the situation that made him say it right then. So that's my dilemma, is do I just sit back and wait for him to say it again? If he was able to say it once I don't see why he couldn't say it again, especially 3 months later when he probably feels a lot more strongly about it. And it hurts that he hasn't said it since. Because I feel like he only said it due to the circumstances, I don't want "saying it" to be my move to make. I feel like it should occur to him that it might be awkward for me.

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