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Can anyone help me understand this?


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I posted a thread just over a week ago, the original post is called "Doesn't make any sense....he's gone so cold" (It won't let me post the link for some reason)


Since I posted, I've spoken to my ex a few times, he said he isn't angry with me and never was and he also said 'this isn't as easy for me as you seem to think, I still love you to bits and I'm far from happy with just being friends' (he was the one who told me he wanted to be friends). What is he trying to say? He said to me previously that the problems in our relationship would never change and that it was best in the long run that we broke up.


But since then he seems to be going back on what he said before. Anyone have an opinion or advice on this?



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We're not staying friends, I made that clear on the phone the other night. I said that for as long as we stay friends and stay in contact I will always have the hope that he will change his mind and I'll never move on if that's the case. So I told him not to contact me and I won't contact him, the problem is once I said all of this he started back tracking and saying how hard he was finding it all. But I don't want to make a fool of myself anymore, I spent over a week crying and begging for another chance and I just lost all of my dignity.


He's still got some of my stuff and I've asked him so many times to take it round to my dad's house as I don't want to have to see him but every time he makes an excuse as to why he hasn't taken it round. Do you think he is just keeping hold of it so he has got an excuse for me to keep contacting him or what? I'm so confused!!

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it's kind of dangerous telling someone just to "try no contact". no contact is about way more than just not talking to the other person. there are rules and certain things you need to be doing while in nc, and if you don't, you'll just end up right back where you were, if not worse.

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So what do you suggest then?


Pull your microscope back from him, and start researching why men hit women. (Hint: it's not about the women.) It will teach you what you need to know. Hopefully, your luck in this 'loss' will become apparent to you, and gone will be your care to figure him out.


Another avenue might be to work with a therapist who can help you discover why you're glossing over the most pivotal factor of this relationship. The man hit you.


In your corner.

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