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Blowing hot and cold - argh!


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I've known this guy since last June but we've never really talked that much, until christmas when we were both on xmas vacation and we started talking on msn. We had a natural flirtation (but i'm like that with a lot of guys) in our conversations, and when i came back to my university in january we hooked up a house party, but it was just a kiss nothing more (BUT i was girl number 3 that night). Then the next day, i got texts filled with over-the-top compliments "eyes are like jewels" and my hair and skin and stuff, and he asked me to meet up for coffees, films etc for the following few weeks. Unfortunately, i had only recently broken up with my ex and i wasn't ready for any of this, and his intense attention scared me off.

Recently we started talking again, and we're friends but i had my suspicions he still liked me. He would ask me questions if he saw me with another guy - for example, my male flatmate who he hasn't met and then he'd try to make me jealous. He also saw me having lunch with a male friend, and i got quite persistent questions about "is he your boyfriend?", "what did you do with him?". Jealousy basically (and i hasten to add that all we'd done is talk!). On my last evening of term before Easter, he asked me to go to a club with him and his friends. He told me he really wanted to dance with me, and he'd pay my club entry fee, drinks, taxi home etc - it would be a considerable amount of money and i declined. Mainly because i had to travel early the next morning and also i had no money at all. He then told me he'd really wanted to see me, and that if i needed him, to text him and he'd come over.

It's been a week since then and he's in Italy at the moment for a holiday and i'm really starting to like this guy - a lot. Obviously he hasn't been online a lot, but when i've tried to message him he's logged off the computer immediately. Also, i left him a friendly "Hi, how's Italy?" kind of message and he gave me a very brief "it's alright, what you been up to?" reply. Now i'm not expecting an essay or anything, but it felt very 'off'.

He seems to be like that - if he messages me or starts a conversation then he's very chatty and friendly. If it's me, he isn't interested. I don't get him!! All my friends agree that he seems/seemed crazy about me and the last time i properly talked to him, it didn't seem to have changed. Now he's being all weird.


Please give me your takes on this - i don't know what to do!! I like him a lot but i'm worried if i seem too keen, he'll back off. Also i don't know now if he actually does like me, or the chase and the idea of the unobtainable as most girls he has falls at his feet, and i've not been like that.

Please help!! x

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maybe he felt rejected when you turned down his invitation to go out to the club. it sounds like he was clearly going to pay for everything and wanted to show you a good time, so he might have felt rejected as a result. if you had to fly the next day, i would have told him no, but ask him for a raincheck, some other time. i would wait until he comes back and then ask if he wants to hang out. i don't see anything wrong at this point with asking him, especially since he has asked you out several times but you've said no each time.

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So do you guys think i should back off then? I really don't wanna get hurt so soon after my ex - i got burned bad there, and i don't want a repeat of that in a hurry... grrr I'm not sure! Thanks for your comments by the way!


Well, c'mon. How many girls, exactly, would he need to kiss in one night before a red flag pops up for you?


The guy talks a bunch of giggle, tickle and prattle and treats you as though you don't have a brain in your head. Prove him wrong, and move on.


In your corner.

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