Jump to content

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
 Share

Recommended Posts

Day 4.

 

 

When I responded I told him that "everything was well and I hoped the same for him. Time and space has given me a new perspective on a lot of things, but if we had anything to say to each other it deserves more than a facebook message."

 

 

well put.

 

I stopped counting... something that brownstone said a month or two ago about doing more productive things than counting the days struck a cord in me. It's been about a month since I sent him an email. As I see it, he and i didn't talk for a year once and still got together so anything can happen.

 

Chin up buttercups

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 20.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Day 02- pt.2

 

Day went fine. I didn't have any urges to call or make contact. Seems that after she finally spoke her mind and told me how I knew she was feeling it put me a ease with everything. Like I said, as I get closer to my date of departure things are getting simpler. Tomorrow will be better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel the same way. Day 14 here, and it's been the hardest by far. Nothing particularly bad happened, I dunno what it was. I just couldn't get her off my mind. All day my stomach was in my throat, my palms were sweaty, and I couldn't think at all.

 

When I got home from school was the worst. After being in class for 8 hours, I came home to a nice dinner. Pasta and such Italian style. About to take the first bite, and I realize that the pasta was from a bag of little animal shaped noodles that me and her had bought a loooonnnggg time ago and never got around to making. I lost it. Started crying, and had to leave.

 

Two hours of sitting in the woods, reminiscing/reflecting/praying, and I'm here. Drained...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 1

 

Damn it, NC was broken today. I was at this stupid fire safety meeting that I was forced to attend, and she showed up. She had to attend one too, but did she really have to go to the one at my hall? There are going to be several other such meetings in the future at other halls.

 

I don't know if she showed up to deliberately see me or not, but it pisses me off. I specifically told her that I didn't want to associate with her anymore because it hurts so much. Does she really want to hurt me?

 

I myself didn't break NC, so do I have to start the challenge over again? If I do have to start it over again for this reason, I don't think I'll ever complete it. I'm bound to run into her at least once a month.

 

I'm so angry right now. It's times like this that I hate her for what she's done.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 5...

 

Still can't stop thinking about her, and I am absolutely miserable sitting in this hotel room. All I wish I knew is how she felt about all of this. She seems to be getting right along with her life, I can only hope that she hurts as much as I do right now...I'm managing to look happy and OK through facebook, etc. so it stands to reason she might be putting on a front too...I feel like such an ass for having to analyze this so much, I wish I could just tell her we need to have a talk so I can have some ACTUAL answers, and not cryptic garble...

 

I doubt she'll ever break NC unless she thinks something happened to me, so I will press on. I hate my life right now, I hate her for making me hate my life...and I want that structure back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've done NC before and it works wonders, just got out of a quick relationship today, we've only been dating a month, but it was a year in the making. Bad timing, she moved away last week for school, and now suddenly its all too much for her to have tonnes of nursing classes and have her mind wondering to another city. I feel bad, but not devastated or anything, I'm just more disappointed, I saw alot of potential in this, its a shame bad timing destroys another relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well Im getting close to the 3 months mark since the breakup. And last week I was feeling very down after I saw a pic of my ex with her (I guess) boyfriend. (funny thing is that I think they leave 4h apart) at least the picture was very small but it did bring me down.

But today I'm feeling really good and happy. I had a date yesterday, and the only thing I been doing is thinking about my second date with her next Saturday.

I really did not think I would find someone as fun and hot like my ex and I guess I'm being proved wrong.

 

Obviously I'm not over my ex. but I hope this feelings will last.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow talk about taking action. Day 15 here. Even though it is 1:00am. I feel a little better after my long thoughtful time in the woods. I'm still debating contact. Something is obviously bothering her, and she was always so appreciative when I was there to help her through it. Thing is, this time I think it might be me. Her facebook status as of now read "who the f*** knows??". I still haven't touched mine in over 2 weeks, so there is no possible way she could know what I've been up to. I see my counselor tomorrow, hopefully after all the psych degrees and millions of books she's read she'll have come constructive advice. At this point, there really isn't much more I can do but keep hope and faith. I'm trusting God on this one, and I know in the end everything will fall into place. It just hurts so bad right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

day 31

 

It's been a week of feeling absolutely awfull. I'm not breaking NC. I feel totally lost and alone. I also feel low self esteem and lack of motivation. All the memories..how can it have come to this?

 

Sounds like we're all in the same damn boat.

 

Day 6 for me. I know she's sick with something, and I can't join her friends on facebook and tell her I hope she feels better.

 

To top it off, I got an awful nights sleep at this hotel, and now I have to go work all day...and it is sure to be a very, very long day.

 

I just wish I had someone to talk to every ten minutes...everyone I talk to tells me the same thing, but it is still comforting to hear people say this sort of thing happens all the time, usually works itself out sooner or later, just give her time and space etc. etc...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like we're all in the same damn boat.

 

Day 6 for me. I know she's sick with something, and I can't join her friends on facebook and tell her I hope she feels better.

 

To top it off, I got an awful nights sleep at this hotel, and now I have to go work all day...and it is sure to be a very, very long day.

 

I just wish I had someone to talk to every ten minutes...everyone I talk to tells me the same thing, but it is still comforting to hear people say this sort of thing happens all the time, usually works itself out sooner or later, just give her time and space etc. etc...

 

your opening line made me laugh I have to say..!!

 

I know what you mean about needing to talk about this. I feel like I need a nurse or something..someone to look after me for a week. Sadly this is not gonna happen and I guess that's what makes us strong in the end. All I can do is send a CYBERHUG!!! x and hope for better days

Link to comment
Share on other sites

your opening line made me laugh I have to say..!!

 

I know what you mean about needing to talk about this. I feel like I need a nurse or something..someone to look after me for a week. Sadly this is not gonna happen and I guess that's what makes us strong in the end. All I can do is send a CYBERHUG!!! x and hope for better days

 

Yep...I really wish I could just take a week off, and have someone by me every second that I could vent to. Of course, they would only be allowed to reassure me that everything will work itself out...I'm still not to the point where I can accept that it's over, mainly because she said it was just "for now." I just don't have it in me to trust her enough to believe that she wasn't just feeding me that line...if I'm right about her, she doesn't have that kind of lying in her.

 

Anyhow...I'm in one of those phases where I'm actually OK, so I had better get driving. I'm sure at some point today I'll be a wreck again, which is fantastic considering the work to be done.

 

Got one of those automated texts from my carrier about my plan, and my heart skipped a beat. I really hate technology sometimes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just woke up today and feeling much better about NC. I am on day 4, we only broke up 5 days ago. I found this forum yesterday and it has really helped me feel confident that I am doing the right thing. Some mornings I would wake up and wonder if I am only pushing him away. But now I know breaking NC would REALLY push him away. Unlike a few people here our breakup is less than a week ago, so its a really fresh pain.

To pass the time I have been working out A LOT. I really have no need to lose any weight, but being in better shape never hurt! I have been making sure I take the time each morning to look my best; partially just in case I run into him or his friends (we live very close) but also because looking like a miserable person wont help me feel less miserable, so I choose to look my best. Always put your best foot forward I guess.

BEST thing I did was deactivate my facebook the DAY we broke up. He did as well. I am not tempted to see what he is doing. And I dont have to deal with people having pity for me when they see I am no longer with him.

It does help that I have guys interested in me. I am in no way interested back but its nice to know I am not just some piece of trash that no one wants to be with.

 

Hardest thing is not that I cannot contact him, its when I go to bed everynight and he hasnt contacted me yet. It definitely hurts. But he did tell me he needs his space, and since I am the one who was broken up with and I think about him constantly I guess its harder to understand how he hasnt wanted to talk to me yet.

 

still going strong though

i love this forum, it helps me get my feelings out. he was my bestfriend and the one i always confided in. having this forum helps me know ill be just fine because im not alone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BEST thing I did was deactivate my facebook the DAY we broke up. He did as well.

 

Got one of those automated texts from my carrier about my plan, and my heart skipped a beat. I really hate technology sometimes.

 

Facebook is like the tree of Eden. You want to look at it so bad to see what they're up to, and each time it's not what you wanted. It is poison. That's the one thing that I am guilty of. I find myself looking through all the pictures of us tagged, reminiscing about the best of times. I haven't updated mine in over 2 weeks, but I can't seem to get off of hers. I only have a few pictures of us, most of them are on her comp, so it's really hard to just erase all that by deactivating it.

 

I feel you on the text messages as well. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night or at 4:00am, thinking I heard a beep. I look at my phone anxiously and there's nothing. Today is a little better, I saw my counsellor and she said that if I wanted to make contact, think about it long and hard for another day. Think about what I want to convey to her, but at the same time respecting her wishes. So no "I miss you, I love you, I want you back". But rather, "Just wanted to say hello. I'd love the opportunity to catch up. Hope all is well!". I'm so torn. Guess it's time for some more prayer...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

but I can't seem to get off of hers. I only have a few pictures of us, most of them are on her comp, so it's really hard to just erase all that by deactivating it.

 

You dont erase everything when you deactivate facebook. I can log on whenever I want and everything is exactly as it was. It helps that his facebook is gone as well. I dont reactivate mine ever because I know he deactivated his and I know Ill become obsessed with checking his if I ever found out he reactivated.

I really just did not want to deal with the label of being single on facebook. I didnt want people repeatedly asking me what happened. The typical reaction I get anyways is 'I thought you two were going to get married some day' which really doesnt help. I didnt need that from every friend I had on facebook

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yea but the hard part is, I know she still looks at my profile. Only difference, is she still updates hers, and lets the world (and me..I think) know what she's doing. If I deactivated it, she would no longer be able to see it, and I think that would be like a huge slap in the face and cause her pain and grief. Something I don't want to do. So I'm hoping by leaving mine up, she'll keep looking at it hoping for updates, and her mind will pick at her wondering what I've been doing. Pretty psychological I guess, but I'm not ready to move on yet. I've come to a LOT of realizations from this break(up) and I know that if I had another chance things would be so different. Sounds cliche, but is true. Once I get word that we're done and over, water under the bridge, THEN I'll move on with my life and try to take what I can from the good times in our relationship. Just not now, I'm holding on to my faith.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Adultery - the New Monogamy?
      Adultery is the Future of Marriage? The ancient institution of monogamous marriage is ill-suited to the exigencies of modern Western civilization. People of both genders live and work longer (which renders sexual exclusivity impracticable); travel far and away frequently; and are exposed to tempting romantic alternatives via social networking and in various workplace and social settings. As leisure time increases and physical survival is all but effortlessly guaranteed, recreation takes precedence over procreation.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Healing the Child Within
      In today’s episode of The Terri Cole Show, you are in for a treat. I am interviewing a new pal, his name is Nate Postlethwait, but you may know him as @nate_postlethwait on Instagram.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to Sort Your Life Out | Self Improvement
      This video is about how to sort your life out. There are four important things you need to do to sort your life out ASAP.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Triggers
      You may be tempted to deal with your triggers by avoiding everything or everyone that triggers you. Although that will help you feel better in the moment, it will make life a lot harder for you over all. Instead, here's an emotionally intelligent way of managing your triggers that will help you a lot more.

       
      • 0 replies
    • No Intimacy Without Personal Boundaries (Q&A)
      The ability to thrive in intimacy is inextricably linked to the capacity to maintain and enforce personal boundaries. In personality disordered patients, both are sorely compromised.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...