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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 30 something

 

Yesterday I fooled around with someone else, someone I know and have flirted with. I felt awkward at times but pushed myself. I wish I was free enough to sleep with him. I'm trying to trash all hope from ever being with my ex again but it feels like I'm tearing my heart appart. I know I'm not ready but unless I push myself a little I might hold on to that ideal for a very long time.

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Day 30 something

 

Yesterday I fooled around with someone else, someone I know and have flirted with. I felt awkward at times but pushed myself. I wish I was free enough to sleep with him. I'm trying to trash all hope from ever being with my ex again but it feels like I'm tearing my heart appart. I know I'm not ready but unless I push myself a little I might hold on to that ideal for a very long time.

 

Is forcing yourself to fool around with someone and have sex with them really going to get you anywhere. Don't prostitutes force themselves to have sex with people they are not too keen on because they are looking for a certain outcome (money) that has nothing to do with feelings. Kind of like what you are doing here...fooling around with someone not because you are really into them, but because your goal is about trying to forget about someone else. That is how people get into rebounds..they use the other person as a means to an end...in the case of a prostitute it is money..in the case of rebounds it is empty sex and companionship in order to take away the ache of heartbreak.

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Aaah, trust me CAD, I need to try and move away from all the sexual associations with my ex. This has been the longest breakup ever, on/off for a year ?!!

 

I know exactly what you mean and that's why I didn't go ahead with it. This came accross different in writing I guess. It wasn't "forcing". Me and this guy have been close before and he's in a similar situation, he doesn't want a relationship as such but we know and appreciate each other as people, noone is used here. He's not a stranger.

 

I won't do something that betrays myself or hurts someone else, I know it would have a very negative result..thanx for your input though, always welcome.

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very nearly exactly 2 months before i received her last email. still remaining NC but part of me badly wants to tell her i miss her but i know i cant. i still want to apologise for being bitter, i really dont know if my last words have jeopardised any possible chance of her coming back for me.

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Day 13

 

I've been missing her a lot this morning. Life is so cruel sometimes, but I don't know if I would prefer it any other way. That was kind of the moral of A Brave New World: The setting is a dystopia where unending happiness is the ultimate goal. The people take drugs, have wild orgies, and are bred to be content with their role in society. The point the author was trying to make, I believe, is that without strong, forceful emotion, sorrow included, life is hollow.

 

I came to the same realization one night after crying for hours. After I finished crying, I felt so alive. I have never felt more alive than I did at that moment.

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Brokenheart311, I have to agree, that is a way of her to keep herself in ur mind. That is cruel! I wish u happines. U DESERVE IT!

 

thank you Zabeth09.

 

Day 148 since breakup

Day 74 of NC

 

Officially there has been no contact for half of the total time we've been apart. At the moment everything is ok, I've been sick and I'm starting to feel better. On the way to work I listened to the song Run by snow Patrol and when the lyrics came on"

 

"To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do"

 

 

I was singing along, i thought about how lovingly she used to look at me with her brown eyes and how great she made "I love you" sound. I choked and teared up and doing so again since I'm thinking about it. * * * * , i thought I was waay past this.

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Day 03

 

Not a good day. I broke my challenge. I needed her dad's number and there was only one way to get it. We spoke and her voice is beginning to no longer sound as pretty as it used to. She finally came out and told me that she was forming animosity towards me and becoming disgusted with my persistence. She said that she understands my personality as a go-getter and that i don't give up until i get what i want, which is why she just hasn't wrote us off and gave closure to our relationship. She told me she see's us together again but not until i give up on it and leave her alone for awhile. I know I was wrong in making contact but I'm glad she told me what she did. I'll leave her alone as she requests. ](*,)

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Dude, it sounds like she's telling you exactly what to do for it to work! Respect her! Give her all the space she wants. I'm kind of in the same position. Went on a "break", things ended good, and then I was sabotaged by a sleezy friend, and things turned bitter.

 

But in the beginning of our downfall, she kept saying "babe I just need some space, just let me have a little time". Of course I kept persisting and trying to pursue the problem. This only added pressure and pushed her further away, leading to the break. But I KNOW that if I had given her 2-3 days when she first asked for her space, she would have come right back refreshed and ready to tackle any issues. LISTEN TO HER! It's tough, but you can do it.

 

Day 12 of NC btw. I go to see my therapist/counsellor on Tuesday which always seems to help. That will be day 14(15) since I got totally screwed.

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had a good night out with my friends last night, took my mine off things for abit but it always comes back to missing her. the one downer was seeing someone that reminded me of her in looks, everytime i saw her it just bought everything back.. low and behold she went to the same places i did so i kept having that reminder. its still tough, i still hold on to hope but am trying to regain my confidence.

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Day 01- pt.2

 

Today has been alright. Not really thinking about her as much as I usually do. She actually texted me towards the end of the night:

 

"I'm sorry things have to be the way they are. I still have alot of love in my heart for you. This situation is hard for me too. If we were able to keep a friendship i'm sure things would be different. I hate that its gotten to the point to where you have to move to a different state to be happy. Hopefully it will give you peace of mind and we'll be able to continue what we once had."

 

I responded with:

 

"We are different people that have different ways of handling things. You know i love you more than anything in the world and if you honestly feel the way you do, after some time and space we will connect again and maybe you'll come to Florida."

 

I left it at that. I know if i start wanting to speak with her and trying to speak with her, i'm going to drive the both of us crazy. She's been a big part of my life and it will never be forgotten. Overall, today went well and tomorrow will be better. Everyday I get closer to leaving back to Florida things just seem to get easier!

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Day 1

 

It was a really bad break, I've already done a week with NC before she finally deleted me from myspace, and sent me the message: "I would say it was fun while it lasted, but that would be a lie". I broke my week NC with the text: "I don't see how you could be so cruel to me, I thought you were different, but I was wrong." I don't see how someone who was in love with you could go to this, but I don't care anymore.

 

So now I'll start my journey without her, I wonder where I'm going to end up. Right now I just wish things could have been different.

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Day 3 I guess. I'm a convert. Tried the friend thing and it blew up in my face (pathetic details in another thread on here if you want to read). Feel really bad. I realize that NC is the least dangerous choice. Not that I am trying to get him back. Just trying to get him out of my head. I have accepted that we are over with no chance of reconciliation. Well my head accepts it, my heart is a different story...

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Day 4 for me...one of her friends and I have spoken, about something separate...with some of the relationship biz thrown in. Her mother actually used the facebook chat thing to check and see how I was, apparently she doesn't know what happened either.

 

I'm going to continue to give her space. It's looking more and more like she just needs to figure life out, given all that has happened...so I am going to give her that.

 

My NC is really for her sake. I'm going to give her the chance to take some space, miss me, and hopefully decide that once she has things all sorted out in her life she can find the room for me again.

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Day 29 (I counted them last night)

 

After a very sad week I feel better and more determined to get over him. I'll try and get rid of a few things in my room. I started reading "it's called a breakup because it's broken" again and it helps me focus on why this is over.

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Day 4.

 

Ex broke NC after 8 weeks in a facebook message talking about our apartment.... He ended the message with a "hope everything is well with you and you've had enough time and space to figure everything out a little bit. Just message me back about anything you feel you want to say."

 

When I responded I told him that "everything was well and I hoped the same for him. Time and space has given me a new perspective on a lot of things, but if we had anything to say to each other it deserves more than a facebook message."

 

He responded to the business part of the message and didn't bring up the rest.

 

Guess I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Or waiting for nothing at all...

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